My head is really killing me. I don’t know which is more painful, my migraine or my heart ache. The pain is unbearable, can I just hit my head on the wall to let the pain go away? I reached home with a heavy head and heart. I slept in the bus because I was so tired. In school, few of my kids were around and they uttered their praises to me. There were few of them next to my room, they knocked at my door just to wave goodbye. So sweet! They made me feel that I’m a wonderful person somehow now I felt so worthless and unwanted. One of my colleague said that she could write me a recommendation and most of them were really nice to me. I have good relationship with everyone… but still I’m insignificant in your eyes. You never valued my feelings.

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My migraine tonight is really painful, Lord. So, different from the previous attacks. Now, I ran and rushed to the toilet and vomited. My sister is not yet home to give me medicine. So, I asked medicine from my sister-in-law. I don’t know my stomach got this funny feeling. Lord, what’s going on? Please, help me! I’m so alone….

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Embrace me, Lord for my head is breaking. I hope I can endure this pain. I tried resting but the pain won’t put me to sleep. I don’t know what to feel right now. What have I done to deserve all of these? Forgive me if I have sinned because of my foolishness. Hope you understand that in the matters of the heart, I turned out to be as vulnerable as a sheep. Can you wipe out my tears? Will you tell me that I can really be happy? I requested for a gift and you give me this love. I questioned You but I realized that who the person is doesn’t count. I tried to take care and treasure Your gift but he’ll never look at me through his heart.

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Embrace me, Lord for my heart is sick. I only wish to love and love and love. But, it hurts all the time because I’m only some piece of shit and a trash. I am willing to take the risks, sacrifice and do everything for love. Yet, I am only ignored. My heart’s illness wants me to perish and get lost from the face of the earth. Don’t I deserve to be liked at least? I don’t ask for too much, Lord.

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Embrace me, Lord for my body long to be with someone. Somehow in moments, I am down I really wish for someone to hug me and tell me everything will work fine. I wish for someone’s kisses to lighten the burden of my heart. But, where am I? Alone in the dark, lonesome on my bed. Don’t hate me, Lord… this is so much! Just embrace me and hold me tight, Lord.

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