Gorgeous, I can show you the world

Bread for breakfast, freshly baked last night! It would be good a combination with coffee. My friends loved it and according to them, it was soft and tasty. I brought some to share. While I was practicing my lines, I looked down and saw her unashamed talking despite of many eyes around. It didn’t bother her that she was paid to do her responsibilities, not to flirt early in the morning. I swallowed all the words that I rehearsed and said, ‘perhaps, she’s the kind who always the guys. After all, you never appreciated my courage, jolliness, generosity and thoughtfulness.’

I am heartbroken early in the morning. Hey, I am not paid to flirt around and get prospects! I won’t fail my little angels. I did my job and executed my responsibilities. I lift up my sadness up high and prayed for joy in facing the children God sent to me.

I will never understand the game of love for it is not something I want because it is a must or what I need. I love because it happens, out of my wits and out of my control. It is God’s will to share my goodness, no more pushing them away or running off and disappearing act. If one day, you will ask ‘why?’ My answer is not sugarcoated, not exaggerated, so simple and straight to the point.

‘Because you exist… and it doesn’t matter how many times you hate me… whether you bad or in your worst… there’ll will be no difference. Never I will less in stead, it will be more and more. It will flourish and grow to inspire the world the real meaning of selfless and unconditional.’ I should no better because Jesus chose me to seve Him too. The master I knew taught me how to be selfless and to love unconditionally. I may not be like Sister Clare or Sister Doris Hart. I won’t walk the same paths as them because Gos enlisted me to a different mission.

Gorgeous, I can show you the world… the line from the lyrics of my all time fave movie Aladdin. I remembered when my locker’s wallpaper was Princess Jasmine and Aladdin. What an obsession but definitely not you!!!! Live action is out!!! I hope to preview it on the big screen not only in my dreams with you. Gorgeous, you don’t mind…

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It’s a long way to you, gorgeous❤️

4 stops in different directions. First stop, a quick painting and breakfast with my sister at my brother’s place. Thanks sis for making the milk tea! Got to go.

Second stop, late for the appointment for the baking session in my friend’s place. It was quite embarassing because I was the last one to come. Blame it to MRT shutdown. There was no train service at that station. Well, the pasta, barbecue chicken and the mushroom soup was super tasty. Then, the bread we baked was the best. Too bad I only had a quickie for dinner with sphagetti, porkchop and tea. My bad that I couldn’t stay long because I had a church meeting.

Third stop, am I the last one to come again? Well, the church was closed because today is public holiday. So, we had a good who offered her home to host our meeting and to prepare for our upcoming Saturday Catechism session. Thanks to my friend for welcoming us in her home with the warmth and hospitality. Thank you for the lime juice and cakes for midnight snacks. What a coincidence! The bag I used had this keychain on, it was what my friend that her daughter gave for teachers’ day two years ago.

Fourth stop, home sweet bed. Now, I can finally rest and be with you… in my sweet dreams… Good night and sweet dreams, gorgeous!

I can be your sHERO, Gorgeous

In this vast world, I am indeed a nobody but I have a magnanimous heart willing to put others’ needs before mine.

Perhaps, you are looking up at somebody shining afar in the galaxy.

Nonetheless, this nobody someday will be somebody who is someone who will always be there for you.

I have my flaws and weaknesses but I can your be your sHERO, gorgeous!

After all, I am attracted to Jesus as a teacher. Like John the Baptist, I am a catechist too. Thus, I am always find joy in the path of my choice; keep on praying for you and others as well; step on my pride instead be humble always; be the master over my weaknesses; and face the truth and spread only the truth in God’s name.

Sound, holy? I hope I am! Honestly, I’m a still very far from being one but I will do my best to fight the beasts within. After all, I am my worst enemy.

I maybe too old but I am still child-like and naive at times. Despite of that, I am still a strong and brave woman who is always ready to confront the impossible. Trust me, I can be your sHERO, gorgeous! Believe it because I am truly one!!!

It was worth coming, yesterday even it was a full day event.

Gorgeous, if I were a boy

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
‘Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
‘Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy, I’ll surely be turned off with girls who chase boys and use their feminine prowess to win over boys. I like discrete ones not those narcissistic and vain breed who have nothing better with their lives but hang out 24/7 on social media platforms. I will be drawn to the kind who are gentle, generous, strong and prayerful… the ones who improve in their crafts, financially independent, confident of their own skin, hardworking, responsible, reliable and trustworthy are the apples of my eyes…..

Probably, I turned to be the kind of woman that I am, not to please others or because it is expected. But it is who I am and how lessons in life changed and transformed me to be—

Gorgeous, I’m more than glad you’re here!

Was I early? Nope, it was the usual and it was the least I expected. I knew too well what you were like when the sun is up. I let you be not feeling dejected because I am more than you were there. I am honoured to be the first. So, I am not grumpy (as you were) but I gave you my smile filled with true happiness of celebration.

Let’s celebrate! My heart exploded that very moment but as it always been I am very clever in hiding and suppressing what’s in there all this time. Of course, the feeling wasn’t the same but I know that you would come around. Indeed, you did… it was all enough for me. I am not insistent, needy and clingy.

I’ll remain around the corner because nothing good comes out in forcing others. Let them be… besides, I have my ways of finding little joys and entertainment. Someone as shallow as me is easily contented, fast to appreciate and quick to forgive.

Whatever there is, no matter how I I am pushed to my limits. I will choose to be for I didn’t how I used to be— not wearing the angry victim mask anymore. I am always the gentle and jolly girl, my Father raised.

Gorgeous, Heaven Weeps Today

On my way home, it is cloudy and suddenly it rains cats and dogs when I reached my destination. Gorgeous, after all so many tragedies happening around the globe. The Almighty must be dismayed but He doesn’t throw thunder bolts to those who did Him wrong. Well, Heaven weeps today for the coldness of so many in the world. God sends beautiful people who truly cares with clear intentions and pure hearts. Do you overlook and take them for granted? No worries, their forgiving hearts maybe taken for granted still they’ll choose not to hold grudges no matter how painful it is to bear. The angels of God are boring and misunderstood in this modern era but they still chose to carry the cross because there’s eternity and heaven after life. Reminder, the three main virtues: justice, hope and love. The greatest of them all is love. I know…

Gorgeous, not in a million years…

Happy Birthday, Paps!!! It’s a celebration. See, I will never ever forget. I gave a treat even faraway from home, keeping my promise to have a mass for you today. Even from a distance, I initiated a mini celebration for you. I even donated a mass celebration this evening at SVDP. We attended mass before we went out for a dinner and ice cream stop. Your celebration is complete minus you. Guess what, as it has been, it’s my treat! I don’t mind the spending as long as it’s for you.

I’ll never forget, not even million years will pass by. I loved you and forever will… you’re always alive in my heart and you never depart. I am doing my best to be with you. You know what, I messed up and almost lost my cool. What I did, I asked the kids to repeat their singing and their prayers. One child reacted, seriously!’ I replied, ‘Yes!’ We ended a bit later but I hope that the story of St John Bosco inspired them in practicing the virtues of fortitude🙏🏻

Gorgeous, you always knew but you chose to…

A boy told me today, “I saw you yesterday but you didn’t see me. You were so pretty!” Pretty? I was not wearing tons of make-up or had fake lashes on. Honestly, my face was even very oily, as it always been. My stuff are not branded, everything I own is on sale. I don’t have dyed blonde hair and tattoo on my back or any parts of my body. I am not vain nor narcistic, I don’t hang around FB or IG. I am naturally boring and one ordinary simpleton.

I’m glad a naive boy saw a beauty skin deep. I hope that one day he won’t grow up admiring and looking at those ‘ho’s and b*tch**!!! God knows no matter how desperate I’ll be, I’ll turn to Him so that I won’t transform into one.

Being kind is stupid and having a good heart is weak. I am told that for several times. Likewise, even if I am unhappy, I am the stupidest and the weakest of them all. A friend before she left told me that all my good deeds, kindness and generosity wouldn’t matter, be remembered and unapreciated. You always knew but you made a choice to ignore it. Indeed, it was so painful, the one who was disliked by many deserved such…. why did I ditched myself? You always did. You were the one who always pushed me away and always cut md out. I found ways to keep my distance and not to be caught with you at the same time. See, now I am not that early!!! I understand that you didn’t want to be seen around me. I don’t chase butterflies nor try so hard to walk on your shoes… like what you like…. be cool to impress… just like those too trying hards…. I AM ME!!!If that was the basis of being noticed, I didn’t want any. Indded, I’m very thankful to all of those who walked into my life… No chasing and pretensions…

I pray everyday that more than anything else I’ll have the strength to remain a beautiful person and be able to share my light to others. But, today I can’t help but be reminded what my friend told me that I AM NEVER APPRECIATED. I am good with that because it doesn’t matter. My light may fade for now and my heart is covered with darkness still I’ll continue to love life and trust my Creator.

First package received and opened when I reached home, I ordered one pair and received two. Consequences must be a joker…

Gorgeous, here goes my heart again!

In the middle afternoon, a child gave me a cute heart origami. (I tossed it on the keyboard of my computer, so I came up with this unintentional idea of how to composed this photo).

Oh, please, little girl! Oh my, don’t remind me. The secret is my own❤️

I will always be shy and naive. But, hey I was someone’s angel for awhile. If I am an angel, then that makes you a God. Someone I looked up to, hope for… always cherished eternally in my heart.

Well, I may be bashful to approach and make a move to any guy. All I know what to do is to remain neutral by treating everyone fairly. I am the type who has weak knees up close to you but I can surely eat a lot. Thank you for the fruit delivery. I chewed the seeds until nothing was left. The fact is having guava for breakfast was a good healthy choice. Thanks to the team for the reminder of how to start my day with a healthy lifestyle.

I slept earlier but I was just woken up from a dream of you. Oh my, gorgeous what power you must possessed… here goes my heart again!!!!

Again and again.

Gorgeous, I am literally wounded

Well, to come out with something, materials are useless with human will to do, ability to endure, patience to wait despite of time wasted and the effort to keep on doing despite the failures. Of course, the point is, people should realise a clay will remain a useless soil unless someone will mould and shape it into a sculpture or ornament.

Similarly, in producing 3D objects, the material and equipment won’t print by their own and operate independently. Some complicated objects may require assembling, of which the process involves sanding and scraping. Reminding me that I still haven’t found one of the blades of my hobby knife set.

Since, the printer jammed I had a little burn on my right hand while fixing the plate. While scraping one of the parts, my right index finger was suddenly bleeding. Oh my gorgeous, I was literally wounded! I didn’t make a fuss or noise about it. I wiped the blood away and went on to finish the tasks immediately. As my mama always said, come on a simple scratch is far from the stomach. It hurts but it doesn’t kill me. Moreover, I can claim the word coined in my dream. The word was ‘LEGO-cy’. In that dream someone explained to me that it’s my LEGO-legacy. Indeed, it is… a product of my blood and sweat, and my wits and creativity. Shh… don’t tell anyone, it’s our secret!

Virtues applied:

Perseverance: finishing what I started and overcoming all the obstacles. Repeating several times to get the desired outcome.

Foresight: I think carefully, gathered the info needed by equipping myself the right materials required.

Modesty: Not to score points and to get the spotlight. I didn’t show-off to everyone, always keeping my head low. I uttered those jokingly to find out what others think. Gorgeous, deep within, I know that in your heart of hearts you are fully aware that it wasn’t easy. No one will do the same because it is out of my good intent and pureness of my heart.

Gorgeous, Never Not Love You

I was told to be delusional. They said, ‘please, quit the wishful thinking!’

But here I am believing in that glimmer of hope.

How do you define love? Is it something good worth keeping? Is it what benefit or you gain for it?

Yet, loves meaning may vary on to the individual. I don’t have to argue or make a stand.

Love is love. It doesn’t have to be complex with elaborate explanations. Love knows no reason and it doesn’t complete anyone. Love is beyond skin deep for it is finding the goodness within…

Gorgeous, I’ll never not love you because that’s who I am. This isn’t an obsession or desperation. Love is worth keeping, a gift from God that I am willing to share with you.

Gorgeous, when tomorrow comes

I paused to pray. I planned and prepared. Go ahead, judge me as you please…

Still up until this time…. I am preparing for my volunteer session tomorrow in the church. Reading online and published references, and of course also the session plan. Who said that I don’t jot notes manually to compose and pen down how the session goes…

Gorgeous, when tomorrow comes I am on my own but I have faith in my Creator and the gifts He bestows upon me. My response may be interpreted as rude. But I believe that I am not obliged to submit to blind obedience. I don’t pretend and I am not fake. In practicing the virtue of foresight, I am reminded to be aware and beware of the serpent. The snake is always ready to bite but I have hundreds of angels in my defence.

Gorgeous, when tomorrow comes you will comprehend my side of the story. You just don’t have any idea what were the negative words said. Despite of that, I am grateful to God for surrounding me with wonderful people who see me beyond the wrong allegations. My imperfections make me human and my mistakes teach me to correct my flaws. Whatever and however people see or judge me, one thing is certain, I don’t fake a smile… I am always true to myself.WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET!!! No need to impress… staying calm and cool for I AM WHO I AM.

Gorgeous, even it takes time…

My first 3D object painting is a failure. Sorry, Groot for I failed you. Forgive me Gorgeous for not meeting your standards.

The 3D LEGO object of Groot took several hours to complete On printing out including the failed ones.

Finally, it was completed. Moreover, it was not the end yet. Next, I had to spray it with a primer (the odorous smell polluted my room). Afterwards, I waited patiently it to dry before I applied the acrylic paint. Oops, I needed to rush for my baking Lesson yesterday. No time to sand at all because I left my house around 3pm and went back more or less around 10.15pm. Come on, sanding wouldn’t matter at all. It was some minor step, the primer would probably the trick. Maybe, possibly…

Baking baguette and buns took was really time-consuming. Thanks to my instructor for the clarity, technique and info. Well, May 1st was indeed a Labour Day. I toiled the whole day long by painting and baking.

The bread I made wasn’t that perfect but at least I made the first step to learn.

My 3D painting was ugly but I am not discouraged. Even it takes time, I am willing and eager to learn new skills.

This Saturday, I promised my Sister that I would bake bread with our nieces.

As for my 3D object, I’ll print another one and change the filament. I’ll keep on trying until I’ll get it right.

Failure is never a hindrance for it is an inspiration to strive in learning and finding my strength. I remembered my first charcoal artwork was a mess and totally a mediocre compared to my classmates. I wanted to withdraw from the course. Then, my teacher said, ‘everyone started from the beginning even masters did.’ So, I went on even I was very slow… I may not one of the masters now but at least I took a leap to learn new things and never limited myself.

Gorgeous, even it takes time… I will go on cheerfully and I will have the courage never ever to give myself a single reason to quit.

Who’s quitting now?

Gorgeous, sometimes something good is bad

Last year, it was a right decision not to join my family on Good Friday because my attention was focused on my prayers and fasting. This year, I did join them and ate the local delicacy my brother prepared. We abstained from eating meat so he cooked fish for a very late dinner and I ate.

As a result… I woke up shivering at 5.20 am, the following day. I rushed to the toilet because my stomach was turning upside down. I was on bed the whole morning because my body felt being battered. I even joked at my sister stating that it was like joining the fraternity and I am being paddled. Late afternoon, I forced myself to leave the house along with my nieces and sis because a friend invited us to attend a play. I was nauseated and I vomitted in between our trips. So, on our way home, I decided to take a cab. My temperature increased so high that I was shaking and moaning at same time. My sis advised me to sleep outside. I did while I was lying on the couch, I lifted my pain to Jesus. I was sweating endlessly until morning. Alleluia! God indeed was risen, my fever did subside. I woke up hungry so I ate very early for breakfast. Afterwards, my stomach became the issue because I kept disposing liquid instead of something solid.

During the mass, I couldn’t stand for a long time because my stomach was so painful but I persevered until the end of the whole service. Thinking it was ordinary diarrhea, I bought carbon caps but it didn’t work. After my sister gave me a massage, she found out from her research that me, my brother and sister-in-law were food poisoned. Then, my sister suspected that the culprit could be the jackfruit and my sis-in-law added or it could be the fish because it didn’t look fresh.

Despite my diarrhea, I still went on with my work but the stomach discomfort were at times unbearable. Luckily, my room wasn’t that far from the restroom so it was very accessible for me specially in that situation. After work, I still attended the evening meeting and what I shared became the center of the conversation. Me and my big mouth. Prior to that, I took my sweet time to get myself a delicious dinner but all the good taste were puked and flushed into the toilet. Right after I reached home, I ran to the toilet and all the carbon tabs I took were also flushed.

This morning, the cycle was the same: nausea, vomitting and diarrhea. Sorry to all the kids I love for we’ll just miss each other today. God knows my heart doesn’t want to miss this day but I have to prioritize my health. Hence, I decided to take a medical leave to seek a professional advise.

See, gorgeous! Food is good for our body. Yet, with so little or too much or incorrect consumption it can be damaging. For sometimes something good is bad… you know too well that I have all the good intentions but everything you see in different light and unappreciated. I am not an attention-seeker, I am very homely. I don’t use mobile devices 24/7 hanging on social media prying on other people’s lives or to expose my narcism like there’s no tomorrow. I am not good in chatting but I did put an effort despite of me being scared. I can read and watch all the dating books and videos still none works for me. This is really me, I am very shy and I easily tremble inside. You think, it was easy for me but it took me tons of courage to do so…. my hands and feet were cold everytime. So, all I left is be myself. Love everything and everyone around me. Be grateful to God and to pray for you everyday.

I am never on Facebook nor on IG, I have no interesting stories. But, it’s alright. I always do interesting things for myself, others and God in closed doors. It’s not for the world to know, it is mine to keep. I don’t want the spotlight on me, as much as possible, I preferred off-cam. After all, modesty is the virtue. Most of all, I am happy… I am very very happy despite feeling sick.

Too bad, I am off from work today when I already prepared what to wear tomorrow.


Gorgeous, be careful with the kiss of Judas

When you cursed someone you already dug your own grave

And when you betrayed your King, you wished not to exist…

A lot of woman are sweet but are good words come out in their lips?

Some women are physically perfect in human standards but can they be trusted?

😇😇😇

(from Psalm 69: 1-35)

2

Save me, God,

for the waters* have reached my neck.a

3

I have sunk into the mire of the deep,

where there is no foothold.

I have gone down to the watery depths;

the flood overwhelms me.b

4

I am weary with crying out;

my throat is parched.

My eyes fail,

from looking for my God.c

5

More numerous than the hairs of my head

are those who hate me without cause.d

Those who would destroy me are mighty,

my enemies without reason.

Must I now restore

what I did not steal?*

II

6

God, you know my folly;

my faults are not hidden from you.

7

Let those who wait in hope for you, LORD of hosts,

not be shamed because of me.

Let those who seek you, God of Israel,e

not be disgraced because of me.

8

For it is on your account I bear insult,

that disgrace covers my face.

13

Those who sit in the gate gossip about me;

drunkards make me the butt of songs.

III

14

But I will pray to you, LORD,

at a favorable time.

God, in your abundant kindness, answer me

with your sure deliverance.j

15

Rescue me from the mire,k

and do not let me sink.

Rescue me from those who hate me

and from the watery depths.

16

Do not let the flood waters overwhelm me,

nor the deep swallow me,

nor the pit close its mouth over me.

17

Answer me, LORD, in your generous love;

in your great mercy turn to me.

18

Do not hide your face from your servant;

hasten to answer me, for I am in distress.l

19

Come and redeem my life;

because of my enemies ransom me.

20

You know my reproach, my shame, my disgrace;

before you stand all my foes.

21

Insult has broken my heart, and I despair;

I looked for compassion, but there was none,

for comforters, but found none.

24

Make their eyes so dim they cannot see;

keep their backs ever feeble.

33

“See, you lowly ones, and be glad;

you who seek God, take heart!s

34

For the LORD hears the poor,

and does not spurn those in bondage.

35

Let the heaven and the earth praise him,

the seas and whatever moves in them!

I woke up dreaming of you. I can’t sleep again. So, I composed this instead.

Gorgeous, Once Precious JEWEL

Been there first, gorgeous

Breathtaking indeed

One of the kind like you

Not available around the globe

Gladly I arrived in clandestine

I will never spill the beans

Come discover too the JEWEL

Present in me, all yours to explore!!!

For my eyes only for now

In my phone, copies captured

As always, willing to wait

Patience is the virtue

Possessed not only by the Divine!!!

Gorgeous, I am a servant

After mass, I was scolded for being rude by an old lady in front of my nieces. Well, my side of the story was we were waiting for a table and I was so naive in believing that in public places people are supposedly to be considerate and willing to share the space to others. I asked nicely but perhaps I was unheard. The other lady was already done with her food while the other was finishing her noodle (which was already a quarter of her plate). The place was packe because it was already dinner time. So, I made the wrong presumption that those elderly women would be done when our order would come (which was served 20 minutes later). I kept quiet with the whole ordeal, I was in shocked and numbed for being accused as one. The old ladies attended the same mass as we did since they had the same palms that we were holding. It was a public place and the area was so small and crowded. There were no other place to stand. We already asked to share a table with a willing couple but the table was so small to fit the four of us. So, we decided to wait for the two elderly women to leave the table since our other order wasn’t ready yet. If they disliked the sight my nieces standing near the table, they could have said something when I asked. The sad part was, we were following the same religion and attended the same church. Yet, what was with the foul attitude. I let it off while I was scolded, I prayed for self-control and also for the scene to end abruptly. It wasn’t my intention to be rude. I pitied my nieces for witnessing the scene. But, my sister told them not take the experience in the heart.

The priest said a meaningful message about the importance of the celebration of Lent. But are we those who kneel down and pray in the Adoration Room, and judge others outside? Are we Christians because we do not want to feel lonely and be in the Church for the sense of belongingness? Are we Christians because we are aware that without Christ we are nothing and a nobody? Do we say our grace before meals and scold people afterwards? Anyway, my faith is not based on others who judged me who know nothing of who I am. I could have apologised but I was afraid that the auntie was a war freak and scandalous woman. So, I chose to be modest and kept my silence.

Today is the celebration of Palm Sunday. During our session, we re-enacted the scene when Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Some kids said it was a gross and yucky experience. But, the message was we are called to serve others. People are welcome to judge me but no one can take away my willingness and pure intentions in serving others through my gifts and talents. I am everybody’s servant and yours too. I am a servant, abiding, humble, meek and obedient. Forgive me, Lord to cause the madness of those old ladies for whatever they felt towards me in that situation.

What is faith for me?

My faith is shaped by my culture.

It is sharpened by my encounters and experiences (whether bad or good).

Above all, it is strenghtened by…

my hunger and thirst of the Holy Spirit,

…my undying love for Jesus

…my strong desire and hope to be with my Creator in Heaven one day

Gorgeous, the Purity of thy Heart Always Matter!

My sister was apologetic, she thought that I might be upset. It was no one’s fault. I gave her my sweetest smile and I exclaimed, “I need to draw for tomorrow’s session. I’ll tell the kids the story of St Maria Goretti.”

Do I feel bad? Of course not, I rejoice at other’s success and follow the Almighty. I am a servant, humble and meek. The acts and I did for everyone else is out of the goodness of my heart. No need for praises and recognition. I serve out the purity and goodness of my heart. I know too well that the God whom I obey and serve won’t punish anyone. If He does, then He’s not my God at all! My God is forgiving, loving and merciful. I am grateful to Him and pray that I may remain in goodness.

Thank you for the brief loud songs and also for lending me what I mindlessly forgotten.

Gorgeous, there are no conditions

Beyond the fuzzy horizon and in the time not under my control, I am the victim and victimizer of my mishaps and undoings. The consequences of my imperfections may break or seal bonds still I don’t want to be astray anymore. So, borrowing the Almighty’s forbearance, I walk the path of light that is somehow the road less traveled.

Whether I am with or not with someone, I pray to God to shape me like a Proverbs 31 woman, who is virtuous and kind-hearted. Someone who takes care and can be entrusted of the key of someone special’s heart. What makes my love unconditional? I deeply care even if you overlook my presence for several instances. I am contented of those stolen glimpses because I don’t have to force something that can be given freely. You did me wrong for several instances, I forgave not because it was my obligation as a Christian but it came from the overflowing love and mercy of my heart. I remain generous of my blessings and time even if it isn’t necessary. I surpress my lust and desires because I respect your decision and value as a beautiful person as the most gorgeous creation of God. Even if you choose to keep distance and shut up, I remained to be true and didn’t beg for attention because you don’t chase and cage a lovely butterfly for it is born to be free… free to explore and enjoy the adventures of the world. No hassles and strings attached. It seems unthinkable, the reason why I still hold you dearly within even you despise and provoke me, and despite a thousand times of indifference and ingratitude. For afer all, no matter what I do, I am always be me and that’s who I am. To sum up, the situation doesn’t make me the loser instead it is my opportunity to be grounded on my faith and virtues.

We all have speck of dusts, which cover our eyesight to see clearly. When the coast is clear, you’ll realise that I make sense all this time. I won’t quit nor give up easily. I believe and trust in God’s time. My hands maybe so little but I can handle and accomplish many things for you, others, myself and for God.

It’s a long day indeed… Another informative and insightful talk with Father Garcia….

Gorgeous, I thank thee

In the den of the snake, there are still notable people and also exists the epitome of cool, the most gorgeous of them all.

Isn’t today the same as the other day? Not really, some slight difference and I thank thee.

St Raphael, thy angel, I am indeed no match to all of them. In the vanity contest, I will surely not make it at the bottom list because I won’t certainly qualify. Insecurity or inferiority? Nope, I am just being true to myself. When everyone is fighting for the top spot, I kneel down and pray because I believe in myself and the Divine. Hilarious for some! But, this is the way I am.

I am the girl who grew up sheltered by father’s shield. Not allowed to do sports and other masculine related activities. Yet, what my father didn’t that I was climbing trees and I enjoyed hiking and nature trekking during summer holidays. I admit that I have poor muscle cooordination and I am very clumsy but it never stopped me to take some extra and hidden adventures while growing up. I can’t sing and dance for timing is very lousy but my limited skills never stopped me from enjoying the music to entertain so many and for my stress relief.

I thank thee for reminding me that my age isn’t my limitation and my race isn’t my hindrance. I am as beautiful as everyone else. Deep within, I am the same girl who loves life and capable in doing things despite my flaws and hindrances. I thank for that presence, it might not the same as I imagined and fancied…. dreams are super extra in details…

I thank thee for existing within for in my deepest secret, I always believe and wanting to take care of you.

Gorgeous, that’s what u call OBVIOUSLY OBVIOUS!!!!

Go girl! Try all your might!!! I must be agitated to the max similar as before…. Keeping my 😎 cool!!! Praying for the virtue of self-control!!!

Whew!!! What happen to some woman’s modesty? Do you really have to lower the guard and step down one’s dignity to get the guy? Then, what happily ever after??? Do you the guy some puppet you can manipulate or some toy you can possess?

Some men I used to know find irritating… trying hard so much isn’t always the joyous conclusion. Loving someone is more than the interests but letting the person who is… making him feel free of being himself… A man isn’t some prince to fill a woman’s fantasy but he is a person who needs to be cared and understood.

Go ahead and get him!!! It will hurt badly but I know my intentions are always crystal clear and the purest of them all!!!

I may not speak the language fluently now but my heart always speaks the truth. Any man isn’t an object to parade around, they are God’s greatest creations meant to be served and places in the highest pedestal.

Gorgeous, Let’s Bring Back the Boys

The fortess unbroken

Boys were playful

But there were certain

Who was who? They knew

Let’s bring back the boys

For they were courageous

Wise young gentlemen

With their innocent hearts

They see vividly and clearly

Easy ones were turned off

Just for the games on the bed

Sincere and truthfulness mattered

Perhaps, the boys knew better

As the journey goes on

Those boys are boys no more

Hope they shield their hearts

Keep up such good jobs!!!

Always proud of those boys

Thank God, I let them flew!!!

Gorgeous, I’ll be there…

Always there for a friend in need… you, know that just call my name and I’ll be there. God knows that I wanted to be there for you but you enjoy the exploration and attention. You never look and listen! If you’ll only paid attention, I can go beyond with what any can possibly do… it is beyond your wildest dreams!

Going home late to rescue a friend in all the tons of works that ought to be completed. Well, thanks for the free dinner and the goodies straight from Japan. I am always there for anyone. Well, it’s up to you!!! Whatever there is be happy with wherever you are…

Gorgeous, let’s cross the stream…

Perhaps, I should admire them. One is quite confident in herself and her youth as her tool to surely get the guy. One is very daring to use interests to be part of the guy’s world. Aren’t they amazing? For my part, I certainly have none.

Perhaps, I am that same naive girl who was bashful and only had in my mind, “no one is watching me and no one will notice with whatever I’ll put on.” I was always being me. I never asked the attention and praises I had nor I put so much effort to get and impress anyone. I only did what I do… take care of myself and others and be the best I can for myself, for others and God. I believe, people across any lands are the same, regardless how rampant physical vanity is, I am certain that there are people who see skin deep. The purity of the heart always matter… not the youth, over-confidence and daringness… I’d rather kneel down and pray for the one I truly love rather than lure or manipulate him into the trap of unhappiness. Gorgeous, I said it many times before, only your happiness matters above all.

Perhaps, I can’t take away from me my caring, compassionate and nurturing behaviour. Even if I am wearing the mask of gloominess at times still I can’t hide my true nature of shallowness in finding little joy in everything and even appreciate all the things I had. The week was terrible feeling for me but I ended it with my brief but sincere apology. When I reached home, I saw a small package when I opened it, I saw a white watch with infinity and angel wings designs. One of those cute stuff, I must ordered. I browsed the shopping app to confirm that I received the item. Surprisingly, it was not in the list of item that I purchased. I ran through my cart and wishlist but the item was not inside. I browsed other shopping apps in my mobile device but the item was not there.

Perhaps, the seller delivered wrongly. Or perhaps, it was God reminding me that even I am falling to hell, He’s angels are real and He sends them for me. Perhaps, it was all but coincidences. Yet, thank you gorgeous for another beautiful dream. I saw you laughing and smiling. Whether you feel my happiness or not in reality, it doesn’t matter for as long you’re well, I am grateful to the heavens.

Perhaps, you’ll find it hilarious that each day I pray to God that He’ll send angels to protect you. You might forbid it but I hope through my angels you’ll feel the authenticity, purity and warmth of my love. Gorgeous, let’s cross the stream despite of the criticisms… who cares anyway when God’s grace is with us all the time? Across the stream of uncertainties, we can be ourselves and it isn’t the happy ending of our fairytale because it is the most wonderful adventure of our lifetime worth all the risks with the love and blessings of God. God never fails of telling you. He always whisper in your heart the greatness and truthfulness of my desires.

Gorgeous, My Dear…

The power of youth in your grasp

Enjoy the beauty tailing you

Same interests, getting closer

Together waltzing in your haven

Should I envy your happiness?

Gorgeous, my dear, my apologies

Forgive this foolish old girl

For falling and feeling this way

You must rejoice in the clouds

I look up feeling contented

Reminding myself whatever there is

Your happiness matters above all

I am sorry for all the shades

Love shouldn’t prevent God’s grace

This should be not my hindrance

To dwell in goodness and joy

Gorgeous, my dear, be in my dreams

At least in there, I love you truly

No judgements and no shame!

Gorgeous, I hold U in my heart❤️😍😘

I wish to have a heart as big as the moon so that I can share my light to everyone. But, I can’t because I am a hypocrite who only claimed to love God. If I love God, why can’t I embrace those who persecute me? Indeed, I gave in to my human needs of belongingness and appreciated that obvious injustice and unfairness became my torture. I cooperated and shared my kindnesss. Yet, all I received in return was the ingratitude, cruelty and spreading lies about me. My space became my shield because I have nothing to prove to those who only desire my downfall. Foolish me!!! My actions only stop me from allowing the grace of God to work with me.

I received this from a friend and it gave me tears of joy. Despite of the scolding and finding fault, there are people who genuinely care. Indeed, I have millions of reasons to go but only one to stay. God brought me here. So, I must work hand-in-hand with him. One of my daughter said that her daughter said I am pretty and she likes me a lot. Well, honestly, I don’t put on so much make-up and my face is oily all the time. I only dress in fashion even if I am heavyweight because this is my way of telling the world that I look good for I love what I am doing. I am glad that one of those children I am with, appreciates and sees the beauty in me. After all, I always give out my best because I love all of them no matter how they behaved. There are my cute angels who reminds me that God’s grace is working in me. All I have to do is to believe and trust Him. I don’t have to impress or try so hard to get someone because I am really shy and all of those things are scary to me… I just have to appreciate my blessings, share my gifts, be there for others, be strong all the time and glorify God above all.

Gorgeous, I love because I can and I do. I don’t love because of what I benefit from it or due to something good it brings into my life. I love because of my willingness to share who I am and be with that person unconditionally. God knows that no matter and whatever, I still hold you in my heart and same as He hold ours in His hand. Have faith and just believe….

Yes, Gorgeous! I miss you too❤️❤️❤️

Whatever devils lurking in the minds of those of aged, may not poisoned the purity and innocence of the young. My little angels, thank you for checking and missing me when I was around. Those sweet voices became music to my ears, my vitamins A-Z and gave meaning why I heed to the call. Indeed, God really knew where to place me. I am so thankful for the joys to bring and giving me the sense of belongingness. A reminder that indeed my goodness was never overlooked and my light still shines brightly. May I continue to inspire others and no darkness will succeed to swallow me to nothingness. My angels, I tried to argue to the medical expert… but at times, the body asks for rest!

The way of the world is harsh, one only looks after for oneself. Despite of that, I believe that the community I build isn’t fake compared to the pile blocks meant to be broken and never to rebuild. Although several times, I exclaimed that I miss myself until when I’m gonna be wearing the mask. Yet, I have to somehow for my safety because no one will be there to protect me. I am only meant to push my limits and sabotaged but I will never do the same. “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” People can destroy my reputation by pointing out my flaws but no one can ever take away my talents and the goodwill of my heart. I am always the happy me with never fading beautiful smile… and I know my little angels seen that…

I am uniquely me and there’s no need to act and do what others are doing to get someone. No need to give a great impression to meet the requirement. Father Garcia made a point you don’t have to beg for something conditional. Hold on to yourself and be on guard with your virtues as your shield and weapon against the snares of our own demons.

Alain Robert is a French rock climber and urban climber, Father Garcia’s favourite person. Father used him as an example during our talks (maybe he’s a fan of the human Spiderman). Alain Robert me reminded me of the virtue of fortitude, an extraordinary strength in the midst of all the struggles. I may not literally climb but time will tell I probably change my navogation route. Life is a never-ending adventures out of Neverland, no age limit nor height requirement. Everyone is welcome to enjoy regardless of race, language and religion. Always keep your spirits high for the soul doesn’t grow old.

Dearest Gorgeous, Isn’t It Amazing?

Hell must be having a party now! However, like St Lorenzo Ruiz, I will never trade my faith with anything else. It took me awhile to pick myself from being shattered, I know too well that God never left me.

I expressed my thanks to those people who appreciated my efforts and hardwork… that’s the lease I could give to all the uplifting words given to me freely. Let others shamed and judged me, God knows the truth. So much politics at its peak! However, I should not allow anyone to switch off my life. Everyday I am thankful to the little angels who brighten my day for they made this whole journey meaningful.

Dear gorgeous, my bitter tears tasted sweet because of all the good things that I’ve heard. What really matters is the difference I made, the goodness of my heart and my neverending sacrifices that I made for God others. Isn’t it amazing to find good people as angels even you’re forced to burn in hell!

Thank you Lord for this experience, I promise that I’ll put my chin up because you’ve given the opportunities to share my gifts to others. This maybe the best version of me, I’ll keep reminding myself that you’re there and so as my Papa too. I needed not to impress anyone because I believe that all Your children deserve the best!

Beasts maybe lurking around. I’ll go on fighting for what really matters and never give up. None of them will be coming back but thank you very much for choosing and considering me once in your lifetime. Thank you for the learnings and memories… priceless laughter and incomparable generosity. Thank you for your time and for making feel that I exist.

(Practicing my sketch for angel deco on the church’s classroom)

Buoquet of Roses for the Most Gorgeous!

Roses for you, gorgeous. Oops! You already bought for her (a friend of yours spilled the beans) Great! You’re feet must be off the ground!!! So many butterflies fluttering around you. What I have given may nothing to who they are…. but, it’s alright because I gave with all my heart and the intentions to make you joyful…. of course, none of it was appreciated, even if I tried to care or being thoughtful— Yeah, I forgot, you already mentioned that you are not available!!! Every time you do, think and say the worst of me… I lift up the pain to God and pray with fortitude and perseverance. What do I know? I don’t judge because my heart is fair…. no biases and favouritism— I serve everyone regardless of age, gender and physical attributes.

I know beyond what others can see, God knows my heart! Welcome to the boat is sinking whereby everyone is pushing me away to drown. Wait a minute! I can’t swim but I won’t drown because God is my lifesaver! You only see me according to your terms but I’m glad you give her those flowers for mine exists in my head!!!! The sins and all are only the invention of my mind. Thank God, it won’t happen at all!!!!

Gorgeous, I gave my Papa bouquet of roses too. It made him happy. I only wish my flowers’ fragrance plus its unconditional love. It’s alright to be ignored, I’ll still do my best and chose goodness all the time! Be prudent always because after death… God won’t ask your age, laguage, height, weight… and nationality!!! Parousia is for all! You’re welcome there too, Gorgeous! I hope that I can show it to you when the day comes… you will have more than a dozens of roses but a bed of roses…. Maybe she’ll bring you instead! See you, I am looking forward for your coming there in God’s Kingdom where my Papa dwells.

You have all the reasons to hate and misunderstand me… One day, you’ll know whose heart is the most true and the greatest of them all! May God bless you always! Peace and love to you❤️😘

Gorgeous, I am always enough❤️🤓🤓

I quit sabotaging myself and belittling my God-given abilities.

Q

A visit to the old place and a young boy noticed me. When he remembered and called my name, the memories flashed back. Indeed, I am the same beautiful, compassionate and loving person that he and the rest of them used to know. (Choa Chu Kang)

Then, together with my nieces and Sister, I stopped over and transferred my artworks to the walls on the classroom at the church. Even if there was no session today, I took the opportunity to decorate the room. (Yio Chu Kang)

Well, the day ended by attending a concert for a meaningful caused. Fortune favours the bold and my resolution to be authentically me. I am not an egret anymore. I am always enough and I will fly like the eagle that I am. (Expo)

Gorgeous are you awake?

Gorgeous did you see me?

I am always at that corner

Gorgeous were you there?

Keeping the distance

Not afar, stay closer

Gorgeous did you hear me?

Speaking in silence

Chained to my fears

Gorgeous, I’m timid

Bound to my beliefs

Who cares about numbers?

In heaven, it’s all fair

No race and no age

The soul doesn’t grow old

No tradition and culture

Happiness is eternal

Gorgeous are you awake?

Can you feel me inside?

Gorgeous, I love you!!!!

I hope you don’t mind❤️😍😘

Gorgeous, am I chasing pavements?

I’ve made up my mind
Don’t need to think it over
If I’m wrong I am right
Don’t need to look no further

This ain’t lust
I know this is love

but

If I tell the world
I’ll never say enough
Cause it was not said to you
And that’s exactly what I need to do
If

I’m in love with you

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
I’d build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it or
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?

Lyrics from “Chasing Pavements” by Adele

Gorgeous, although in separate paths

Today is the Feast of Transfiguration when Jesus transformed into divine at Mount Tabor with the spirits of Abraham and Elijah. I took my penance to the core and I decided to visit several Churches.

First stop in Punggol. I wasn’t thinking of the transfiguration of Jesus’ feast day…. It was merely a coincidence. I chose to visit the Church of Transfiguration first because I have never been to the new church since it started early last year. Of course, I was lost but that never stopped me. I persevered because my prayers are always answered. My requests are so little for Jesus who is my king and my saviour!

Second stop was in Sengkang, Church of Saint Anne. My friend used to tell me that St Anne interceded for her to find what she was looking for… I believe that St Anne will not fail me too!

Third stop at Yio Chu Kang, the Church of Saint Vincent de Paul. This church is like a home to me, not because I served here and built a community. It’s because beyond what I’ve known before… it is written! Let thy will be done! St Vincent, I know that you are always there for me.

Fourth stop was in Ang Mo Kio, Christ the King Church. I was home in this place for a very long time. I lift to His cross all my brokenness and hopelessness then… He heard my pleas and the Blessed Mother too. I pray to be like the Blessed Mother, prayerful and faithful.

Fifth stop was in Toa Payoh, the Church of the Risen Christ. He carried and died on the Christ but He was risen to save us all. When Jesus rose from the dead after three days, it only proved that His light is greater than darkness and death. May I possess His light to share to others and be there to the ones I care deeply…. chances are… I have faith. It may sound insane to others… I don’t need all the sort of social apps for God is greater than Mark Zuckerberg, Kevin Systrom, Mark Krieger, Jack Dorsey, Noah Glass, Biz Stone, Evan Williams and many great minds who founded all the social media that this generation is so hooked and cannot live without…

Well, I am just this ordinary woman who has my own share of vanity still has fear and faith in the Almighty. It’s true that we don’t share the same routes and beliefs. Although in separate paths we are in, I never forgot to say my prayers for everyone and especially and solely for you…

(Photos were edited with Meitu and PicsArt apps)

Gorgeous, God isn’t Asleep!!!

Sleep not my Lord

Too tired, I am giving up

I am patient for so long

Breaking my heart again

Raising the white flag

Drowning in my tears

Is it my time to quit???

Should I endure some more?

You’re the God of Abraham

The king of all kings!

My request is so little for you

For your greatness is vast

Today, you reminded me

“Persevere in prayers, my child

I am God of all who listens

None of your efforts are wasted

I know the right time for you

Your kindness will be rewarded

Your patience is worth it all

I am never asleep in heaven

Trust me, you’re next line

Sooner than you expected

He’s in your thoughts everyday

And you’re in his every time

He’s on a watch closely

While you were not looking

He is always in your dreams

And it’s no different in his—

My light is greater than darkness

Both of you are my children

It is never a question of how

I have my ways and I know when!”

Gorgeous, be my light!!!

It was anwful start for I had to go back and missed my bus because I left my phone. I was late and not really a worst scenario because I left my wallet. And so there it was, as I entered the room and heard it clearly… the vaccum of darkness sucked the little light in me.

At the Adoration room, I complained to God and questioned him. Am I not good enough? Why I ended up in a place where I am not appreciated? I pulled away to protect myself because I am certain of the attacks waiting for to breakdown. How big were my sins? When I had my confession, I could only say two… a child sinned more than I did. However, why became the villain when my intentions weren’t unselfish? I didn’t come to flirt nor I didn’t help to please. Why this generation so blinded with filters and fake news? No wonder, it’s no surprise, they can’t see the truth in front of them. I wanted to remain kind only I am always judged to be wrong. I told God, ‘come on, I give!’ I wanted my dreams not to remain in my head… I just don’t want to hear the voice already forgotten. I wanted to see the face and find out the name. The recent dreams brought me so much jubilee within. Reality check, the butterfly is flirting with all the young and pretty flowers in the garden.

After reading the Gospel, I realised that I am no different from that young man. I too so attached to my baggages that pulled away from God’s grace. Lord, let my friends words be Yours and may their prayers for me be heard. Didn’t I asked for signs? The affirmation said by them may came from You. You used others’ lips to speak to me. And you said, “for human beings it is impossible but not is impossible in God.”

Gorgeous dearest,

After grabbing a quick bite of two slices of bread, it was almost 7pm when I dozed off. Work must be probably so exhausting that I took a nap that long (almost or more than two hours). When I woke up, it was passed 9 pm. Well, I was off with a lot of things and none of those were just some lame excuses.

I should have left when I had the chance. How ungrateful people could be? How awful must be the devil lurking in their hearts to disregard the pain they caused others? What goes around comes around. Possibly it isn’t true at this minute. Yet, when it will happen, I hope you won’t be wrinkly and helpless or sick and vegetable because the burden maybe too much for you to bear. Blessed are we whom you caused such trouble and thank you for focusing on our flaws because you gave us strength to persevere while you drag yourself to darkness.

Before I left from that unreal place, someone spoke with me and he did understand. He gave me an advise and warning. At the end of the conversation I said, “no matter what, I will still do my best and give my best!” The world is unkind and even I am treated as trash, I must remain strong and be brave. ALWAYS CHOOSE KINDNESS!

Blessed are my dreams that serve as the channel of God’s voice for I am reminded how much I am loved and never left alone. Recently, in the series of dreams, I am assured that my heart’s desires will be fulfilled.

Lord, teach me to be patience and help me to endure against adversities. Remind the people around me that I am not making excuses, I am just too occupied to be there for others. Are they aware of the messages asking for my aid that needed immediate attention? I keep quiet of what I have done for others for the glory isn’t mine but yours. Let me the voice to the children I am with everyday and also tomorrow. Two sessions of volunteer! God enlighten me with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Let me speak your language to the children tomorrow so that I can bring to them how much and great is your love.

Honestly, I am unprepared. But anything to help a friend who isn’t well! Bless us all, dear Lord! Bless the hearts of those who blindly and blurly see the goodness in my heart and the pureness of my intentions! Save them from falling out of grace. In the midst of the mist of lies, justice and truth will always prevail!!!! Goodness rules!

Lastly, I can’t give monetary tithes but I share and offer to You, my Almighty King my intellect, skills, voice and time. These maybe nothing to others but to You, I am more than enough!!! I love you with all I am… with all my being, my heart and soul!!!

To God be the glory! AMEN!!!

Gratitude beyond the grave

Voices so deep, sounds from six feet under

Reminiscing those who passed on

I was half sleep, clearly heard my Father

My grandma’s echoing repetitive thanks

My uncle’s gesture of gratefulness

Beyond the grave they had spoken

Acknowledging my generosity and sacrifice

My blessings are mine but I chose to share

And their sincere thanks were more than enough

I’m same shallow girl, little things make me joyous

Don’t expect so much or payback

A simple thank you means a lot

I don’t have the witch’s deadly venom

Do I deserve the hate and ill-judgement?

Will you count the faults rather than the blessings?

Hope those who departed will prove you incorrect

Reminding you that good women wear high heels too!

God will make a way

Exhausted on my way home, nothing much going into my head. After I plugged in my headphones, I silently told my head that the first song played on random selection will be the title of my post today.

Honestly, part of me was urging me to check in and say good wishes. Yet, knowing the person, he is surrounded by a crowd. Certainly, whatever gesture I would, as always wouldn’t make a count. Whether I sincerely cared and deeply concerned, it wouldn’t make a difference. So, I’ll just jot down into my prayers what would surely didn’t matter anyway…

“I admit dear Lord that the displayed ingratitude and uncaring attitude slashed my heart. A friend exclaimed that all my generosity were unappreciated and I should stop sharing. It made me think that in this crazy world a good heart is easy to overlook.

Forgive me, if I chose my silence and be there to the ones who’ll surely recognise my kindness and efforts. Perhaps, it feels great to be there to those whom I know appreciate even my simple smile and see the beautiful me.

Dear Lord, it is sad to change who I am. I miss my silly and shallow laughter. I miss my loud voice. I don’t want to change things; however, it was what others need– minus me.

It’s true, it hurts like a thousand gunshots that pierced my heart over and over again. Still I don’t wish I’ll-fortune to others. Karma may somehow real but not to him (exclude him, please).

Probably he’s living on high, celebrated and looked up by many. I maybe the outsider but you know too well how pure and sincere are my intentions. This all but drama to the millennials, still I pray for his good riddance and may he’s jubilant as always.

Aid him in all his needs. Send an angel to be always be there for him. I hope that I am that angel on flesh. Yet, let him be!!!

My guardian angel, I lend you to him so that you’ll be there for him in my absence and whisper in his dreams that I am always here for I never left. I always care and love him more than anything else in this world.

Lastly, thank you Lord for making him alright.”

When I learned about it, I prayed wholeheartedly. Thank God that everything is fine now.

It’s YOU who matters above all

I will never insist or force myself to someone who feels he is happy with another. Let the eagles fly to jungle for they belong to the wild. Deep within, my sweetness is overflowing but since you made a choice to resist and be blinded with pride. I let you be. No havoc for I am a kin to love and peace. No fights and angry words. For you know too well I did a lot from you and wasted more? What happen to gratitude and gratefulness? Perhaps, you are joyous in forgetting and not bothering at all.

I AM WHO I AM. I meant every single world that I handwritten. I might somehow be upset and disappointed still no one can erase my truthfulness. None was a lie Nor a flattery… not meant to win affection nor get the attention. I care and share because that’s who I am. If you don’t want any of my generosity and kindness, I’d rather give it to those who can appreciate me that even my mere presence is their delight.

Not because you made such choice that I will feel awful of myself. Nope, I will never allow that… you may choose not to see the beauty in me, it doesn’t mean that I will lose sight of myself. I am always worthy because I too is God’s masterpiece and I got a lot to share to the world.

Sadly, there’s so many good things I want to say. Indeed, I always care and be there when you needed me the most. Somehow you choose to do what you do even you know how badly it hurts. I never stop loving and caring. I never give up… Everything is up to you because YOU who matters after all.

I pray your welfare and good health. Just ensure that your jubilant because in my ways I am on my own.

Lonely table just for one

Isn’t it an odd world? Do people have amnesia? Aren’t they too young to have Alzheimer’s? Despite the harsh attack, I must protect myself through my songs and by continuously doing good to others. Let those with foolish tongues spread the lies to preserve themselves because pulling others down won’t bring any of them up.

The real me should be preserved. I won’t let anyone describe me according to their terms. At the end of the day, I will still choose to be selfless and happy… the woman who always smile, optimistic and true to my words.

Of course, I felt bad and had lunch all by myself. Honestly, I dreaded returning to that place but before I left someone approached me for he needed my assistance. I received a message seeking for my aid. As I was chewing my food a little girl came to my side and then another little boy followed. When I was at the gate, my colleague’s daughter who happened to be in my class gave me a quick hug. Am I that antagonist defined by the few who even failed their responsibilities?

I went down to help my colleagues and another one was worried that I might be unable to be there for the group. I gave a pat on my shoulder because at the end of the day, I made myself significant. It was never an issue of being needed but being sincere to be with others. Some may doubt, question and forget my goodness, I’m fine with that coz God is never asleep.

I conducted two sessions today for my volunteer in the church because my Friend wasn’t feeling well. What happened yesterday didn’t put me to sleep with a heavy heart because I was occupied with my drawing, preparing all the materials and researching more about Abraham. I had no chance of praying at the Adoration room before the session began because I had materials that I missed out preparing.

My friend requested my help on printing the ancient map of Abraham’s route on A3. But, I didn’t just print it… in stead I painted it, put on hard paper and covered it nicely on my expense, spending my money, time and effort. To think about it, I had little money left because I lent everything to my brother who needed it the most. Now, feel free to call me bad?

Indeed, others are quick to jump into conclusions when they just have no idea who you really are— Thank you, dear God for the good rest today!!!

Don’t frown or else you’ll be less gorgeous—

Get Out of the Way, B****

Is There a Bitch in Your Workplace?
Occasionally you may unexpectedly come across a bitch at work.
Posted Feb 13, 2013
by Meredith Fuller, Working with B*tches

Most professional women are too busy working long and hard to even contemplate the question. We don’t expect to come across any and we certainly don’t look for them, so how could we tell?

Initially, we can’t believe that someone is being bitchy and tend to assume that we have misread the situation. Why would another women want to humiliate us in a meeting, sabotage our career, or play silly games to destabilize us? We give her the benefit of doubt, and may blame ourselves for the misunderstanding and work even harder at communicating. When that doesn’t work, we tend to blame ourselves as we struggle to cope with the interpersonal difficulty.

We don’t wish to betray the sisterhood, or draw attention to our vulnerability, lack of coolness or internal resources. If we try to tell friends and family, they may try to problem solve by offering simplistic retorts we could never utter, or snort with derision at our silly paranoia.

We tend to remain silent – it is embarrassing and shameful to acknowledge that we’re allowing someone to upset us, or that we are helpless at trying to resolve it. Perhaps we are concerned about retaining our job, and swallow our distress. Secretly, we wonder whether we are weak and pathetic; other women seem to take it in their stride or fail to notice. We must be overly sensitive. Maybe we lack political or strategic prowess – yet another failing. We witness our career prospects wither as our naivety or niceness renders us powerless.

A number of women I see in my private practice describe similar stages:

1. incredulity: They cannot believe that another woman could be nasty to them. They surmise that there must be a miscommunication, misunderstanding, or lack of skill – it must be their fault or perhaps there is something wrong with them. They may be re-triggered with primary school memories of popular in-group girls who excluded them or taunts hurled across the playground.

2. numbness: They work even harder, and trudge on.

3. exhaustion: They may dread going to work, and worry about their reputation and career being eroded. They find it increasingly difficult to ‘switch off’ and worry after hours. They lose their work satisfaction, and struggle to manage their workload.

4. Cynicism: They feel hurt and betrayed. They drag themselves through their work day and ruminate each night. Their creativity and joy is compromised.

My concern led to my writing a book where I identified 8 types of bitches and methods for well mannered, non-gamey women to cope with managers, colleagues, or staff.

Read more, visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-btches/201302/is-there-bitch-in-your-workplace


By Ludacris “Move Bitch Get Out Da Way”

A billion shattered pieces

Taken for granted and taken advantage… what have I done? I am generous because that’s my nature…. I wanted to give a treat. What for? None of my good deeds were appreciated. So, what’s with the party? I gave a treat to myself…. pampering myself with vanity! Going back and back to the handsome stylist! I still have my charm for he gave me a discount😘😍. No need for blow out! No one remembers anyway!!!

My cake disappeared!!! Where is it? Never mind, as long as I do my best in all things I do. Never lose energy— the years keep increasing but the spirit won’t fade. I will remain to be good because that’s who I am. Even if I am unseen and unappreciated, I will keep my good works. Thank you dear God for giving the opportunities to improve my skills and share to others.

I am heartbroken today. My DIY, presents and all meant nothing— but I am not the bad person. It is a blast!!! A billion shattered pieces, my heart was blown out!!! So, I have to double my prayers, sing more and zumba for an hour!!!