Red and White, Gorgeous…

White…

At times, honestly is not always the best policy. It’s wrong to hide the truth but there are instances one must not reveal the true story to avoid complications and strenuous situations. A little cover up, it’s all white little lies… something you know… don’t mind the rest of them for the world don’t owe you an explanation.

Red

I rushed to make it to the mass in the Church of St Vincent de Paul, Bras Basah. Then, the priest was wearing red because today is the the Feast Day of St Luke. I told my friend that I had second thoughts of coming but I wanted to surprise her. I had no time to grab anything but my presence was my perfect gift for her. I joined the celebration with the family at Pizza Hut in Nex Mall.

Indeed, it’s a long day for me Gorgeous coz I needed to go to YCK at SVDP to print and laminate all the materials needed for tomorrow. What a long day!!! The work is unending.

Gorgeous, are you alright??? I hope everything is fine. Its very stressful and Long day indeed!!!

No WHITE LIES… it’s RED, a celebration!!!

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Neither an Angel Nor the Devil, Gorgeous!

I AM NOT AN ANGEL

Even if I volunteered in the church and pray everyday and read the bible, still I am as human as everyone else. I am lazy in tidying up my room and I am guilty of saying not nice stuff about others. However, with all humility, I seek forgiveness to people I do wrong. I maybe forgiving and kind in many ways still my goodness doesn’t qualify to be an angel. Yet, you look like a falling hot angel…

I AM NOT THE DEVIL

Naughty thoughts? I committed that sin. Forgive me for being a woman. The burning heat of my secret desires caused me to sin multiple times but no one can take away the purity in my heart. Gorgeous, despite the evil lurking around still I am not the devil’s disciple. I am absolutely imperfect because I am born to be a sinner but I am not the devil. Gorgeous, I can’t be perfect because I am a sinner. Forgive me for being so bad all the time but fear me not because I am not the devil.

I hope you’ll change where you’re standing and see how beautiful I am despite my flaws, imperfections and carelessness.

From the bottom of my heart, Gorgeous!

I am really feeling tense and fidgety. Thus, to calm down myself, I prayed the rosary, the moment I reached home. Still my heart kept on pounding out of nowhere… Again, my thoughts were not with me— floating elsewhere with you. Hence, I kept myself occupied by making jumbo popsicle sticks bookmarks with bible quotes. Actually, I prepared in advance for Saturday’s session this week.

I am wholeheartedly sorry. Honestly, it was not my intention to be a nuisance. Everything came just naturally to me. Again, I wasn’t thinking. Forgive me, please….

I know there was no excuse for my undoing. It just so happened that my thoughtfulness and generosity were just part of who I am that I automatically took actions not using my head all over again.

Sorry, I didn’t want to cause any uncomfortableness or awkwardness. That sharing came from the genuineness of the bottom of my heart. I knew everything was my stupidity… sorry, sometimes I just switched off my brain and act instantly on impulse… or perhaps this who I really am. For me, the deed was out of sincere demeanour and never thought otherwise. Moreover, my conscience kept on bugging me until now. So, I lifted up my worried and apologetic heart to God. “Forgive me, Lord for causing others’ inconvenience. I didn’t mean to cause trouble or disturb. After all the hard work, I felt everyone deserved to chill and relax”. Also, from the bottom of my heart… please, hear my apologies…

It rained so hard on my way while you were in my thoughts. You’re happy now and God bless you.

Always remember…

Gorgeous, Who Gained or Lost?

Got myself stuff that used to be for my eyes only because these are gadgets that I cannot afford. I only take a glance at ads and read, that’s about it. See and admire only— Wow, hi-tech! These are gadgets that only cool and techie people own. I am one old school hag who only reads comments and reviews. Look, I bought myself high tech stuff of not recent models but it feels new and cherished. I was so hyper and excited that I didn’t realise that I lost my favourite watch and some freebies in the process of my sole celebration.

I went home sulking. I even stayed for 20 mins to look for the stuff (desperately searching all the way to the rubbish bins and also asked the cleaner) How could I missed it? I thought that I kept everything. My old-not-so-cheap watch and that costly free stuff!!! I am so upset of myself from being so careless. Until now, I am so disappointed of what I failed to do again. I was so disheartened that I was snoring in the bus (and salivating too, yuck!!!). Lord, what I have done again… shame on my carelessness!!!

It’s me, not you Gorgeous!!! Thank you very much from the bottom of heart❤️😍🤓😘

So much happiness is deadly, Gorgeous!

I am just feeling happy. I don’t know why. Prior to that, I am one awful woman because I called someone inappropriately. Whatever excuse the person had for coming when there’s a technology called instant messaging. Whatever girl, if your strategies are effect… then, congrats!!! For whatever tomorrow will be, the most important thing… I did my ways quietly… it’s very frustrating to be rejected several times… but it’s ok because my heartaches made me stronger and braver each day.

I am just happy even I am so tired after an hour in the gym. I was late for the evening meeting. I even reached home around 11.10pm carrying your thoughts with me. You know how I am different from the rest of them? I don’t want to own you because you belong to yourself. The day I fell for you was the minute I let you go because your happiness matters the most.

So much happiness is quite scary. Before terrible things happened last week, I was so happy too only to end up on feeling really devastated.

This is the Declaration of My Heart, My Gorgeous!!!❤️❤️❤️😘🤓😍❤️❤️❤️

Ever dearest My Gorgeous,

Every inch of this so-called madness spells out I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E. Only an inexperienced and foolish girl will want to dwell in a situation whereas chances are obviously evasive. Come on, so many of them will say that all time and efforts are absolutely meaningless. Everyone wants to triumph, no one will bet on anything knowing to just lose everything at the end.

Well, who cares of being the victor anyway if by becoming one you ought to hide from your true self? Unfortunately for me, I am the worst faker there is and I can’t be expert manipulator. I am just one ordinary individual with no riches to show off. To be honest, I don’t stand a chance over those goddesses queueing and awaiting for you. In addition to that, I am not a genius, only an average woman who’s falling for you all this time.

My Gorgeous, I don’t have to fight over and insist what can’t be mine and willingly given to me. You have your intellect and free will. Hence, no one can force you on something you can’t give. Hopefully you’re on the right track. Please, don’t be lost because I will tirelessly be looking for you. Don’t break your heart too because it will butcher mine a hundredfold for my desire and prayer is for your happiness.

I wanted to blame the Almighty for bridging our paths when all you did was looked away and despised me. There were many instances, I feel totally awful because you only chose to see my flaws and negativities. Every time when you made me feel that I am unworthy, I quickly drift into my loneliness isolating myself from the world and my Creator. However, in the pathetic world of my invention, so many whether young or old keep on coming to remind me that I am a beautiful person that I should not hide the best version of myself.

My Gorgeous, I oftentimes wonder if in case we were born in the same stars, will it make a difference? If you’ve known me before any of them, will you take the chances? Well, I can only think of endless probabilities but there’s no escaping of the present and my reality. Moreover, I don’t intentionally want to feel truly and deeply towards you. In many occasions, I wish it can be any of the ones whom I used to know. Trust me, I uprooted this feelings for several times only to find myself so engrossed in the thoughts of you. God knows, I am doing everything I can in keeping my distance and avoiding the opportunities to be around you. I always act normal treating you like everyone else for I keep everything in the silence of my heart.

The God I believe knows it too well that I truly don’t want this anymore. To the angels and saints, I seek for their intercession to reformat my heart so that all the data stored of you will be permanently be deleted in my personal Recycle Bin. May the Blessed Mother reinstall the memory in the disc of my head so that I will not remember feeling differently and especially for you. How fortunate of you to be not in my shoes! You can have them all and choose the best permanently. Well, even I had my options still nothing has changed. I turned away those chances because my heart wants what it wants.

I love you. I do. Always. I’m glad that you don’t care and you don’t know. I guess, the secret is mine to keep forevermore.

The 3 Chapters, Gorgeous

Chapter 1: Old Acquaintances

Everyone expected something from me. Never failed to accomplish the Girl Scout’s motto I lived by, ‘always ready!’ They were the ones I used to know many years ago who taught me what I become today in terms of the value of work. They wanted something from me as always but you were there… did you actually remember? You found what I asked for and shared unselfishly to me.

Chapter 2: The Brightest Light

I loved those children even none of them developed in my ovary. I treated them as my own and gave it all. However, I couldn’t deny the fact that they were temporarily mine and they must be returned to the homes were they belonged. I went back all alone to my rented place, unknowingly you were there. Then, as I went up, you followed. In the absence of the light, the music in our hearts was played where the miracle of life happened. After awhile something grew within me, I hesitated and left to join the festival. You knew me too well and had already an idea of what was running in my head. So, you gave me a flashlight stating “if you’re lost, look at the sky and find the brightest ray of light projected on the cloudless night for it is where you can find me. Then, flash your light too, so that I will know where to find you.” I turned my back on you and drifted into the crowd. As you predicted, I was lost in the sea of people in the festival. Together with an angel you climbed at the rooftop worrying for my welfare. I didn’t wish to be found but you still put the effort to make me feel that you were there waiting. So lost and I looked up in the sky… there was the brightest light coming from you.

Chapter 3: Here You Go Again

I was in my sister’s room and it was so different from mine. ‘Hey sis, my room looked like a rubbish bin compared to yours!’ When we went out, there were undecorated Christmas trees. My sister led me to the House of God where I always go. I saw your friend leaving and the place was almost filled. Then, my sister found a sit for both of us. Somewhere behind there was a familiar voice calling me. When I turned my back, you were there matching my maroon coloured dress. Your signals and gestures confused me. Were you reserving a seat for me and wanting me to make a move. Then, I read your lips and hand signals that there were presents under the pew. Indeed, there was a knapsack and some cute stuff. A little girl came by distracting my attention. Out of nowhere, I saw the kids I knew too well in their special occasion. Suddenly, I recalled of your presence. I panicked and my eyes were searching for your whereabouts … Then, your bag and equipment were still there. So, it was good enough for me to know that all this time you never left…

Welcome back to my session, I truly missed my kids.

I was only a substitute but I received gifts from one of the kids from another session. Is it Children’s Day?

Thanks sisters for welcoming me back!!!😊😇😘😍

The fault is on me, Gorgeous

If people dislike me, I fully understand them and I deserve that after how awful I acted. My Papa was right for saying that I am extremely good and bad. What can I do, I am after all my Papa and Mama’s daughter? Obviously, I am always the loveable and visible one among my siblings to our community, relatives and many more. Knowing myself I don’t hold grudges on others nor I have vengeful heart. Most people say that I am a lot like Papa in many ways. 98% of my personality is like Papa: faithful, prayerful, home buddy, a little bit funny, generous, friendly, understanding, a good listener and storyteller, caring, thoughtful, patient and many more. Nevertheless, many people don’t know that 2% (less likely to happen) of me is like my Mama when I am angry I am indeed angry, no faking it and not caring in the world what others will think about me.

See, I am extremely bright in many occasions and I can be happy on my own. Yet, if it hit me, I can be extremely cold. Definitely, I won’t talk so much or nag and bring out so many issues on the table. No need to elaborate, argue and fight.. for my coldness will transform me into am invisible woman. But the coldness part is on me because both Mama and Papa are the kind people who always let people off the hook even if they were repeatedly cheated or done wrong. Perhaps, seeing that side of them made me into this…

The fault is on me and there’s no denying that… I am sincere with my apologies. I don’t know… Out of nowhere I was awaken of the dream of you there… Hey, as expected, TGIF was yours to conquer and rock on the bed with the choice you already made. As you said to your friend, you already had plans with her…. the flowers and all… speak it all…. I should not be dreaming or thinking of someone who already belong to someone else. You’re happy that’s it, even it’s with someone closer to home and speak your native tongue. You’re way out of my league…

However, in my heart of hearts, the innocence and pureness are there remain the same and unchanging despite the truth. After all, I don’t beg or force what isn’t willingly given to me. I respect other’s decisions even if the pain is unbearable. I also respect other’s space even if I want to be nearer… so close, I wanna kiss and touch you and more….

Why I am still awake? Thanks to the big boss for the ultimate rejection and the tremendous NO! I always question myself with a very heavy heart, ‘don’t I deserve it too?’ I guess not. After my actions, the fault is no one but mine.

Have a blessed day, Gorgeous! Remember, I maybe extremely bad but I still deeply care… Sorry. You know too well… I don’t try so hard nor disturb… I am all yours… same as usual… it’s only on me…

Nobody’s Queen

Somewhere out there is an unattractive and unpretty Queen of her creation…

maxresdefault

She prays daily for the king whom she wholeheartedly adore and love.  But his eyes are set to many damsels everywhere whether it is in work and play.  She spends time and money in embroidering her present.  She’s learning to bake and sew, and she knows to paint but nothing is good enough.  I wonder why it’s difficult… Maybe, blame it to the Big Boss.

Boss, every time you say NO, her heart shatters into million pieces.  However, she remains happy and kind for there are so many who love her too.  Around the children, she can be true: jolly, wacky, lively and always smiling.  Actually, she’s not a teacher (she is aware of it too, no need to spell it out for her) but for the kids she is one because she is not selfish with her time and skills, she is always to share even it is just a joke to many.  Will the king see that? Nope, he finds time only to all of  the lovely ladies even to a pretty and young merchant of new acquaintance.  Of course, no different from a friend (???).

Her Papa always said be always kind and forgiving.  Isn’t she? Or does it matter?  Should we blame it to the Big Boss for not giving her the chance or always rejecting her? The pain she carries with glam is sometimes unbearable.  There are many times when she’s tempted to get drunk, exchange flirty chats with random strangers or sleep with anyone regardless of gender… Seriously?  In her mind, she wants to be wild and scratch the itch… Nonetheless, she won’t have the nerve to do such because it is not in her nature.  The truth of the matter, there are people who are quick to judge and twist all the stories.  No recognition and appreciation of good acts and deeds…. the reward always goes to the one always seen and everybody’s favorite… and the king receives all the gifts even for doing nothing—

Is she the coward? What do they know of her story? One thing for sure, she doesn’t need your mercy… she has nothing to offer but she’s the most the genuine and faithful of them all.  Although she’s old school and shallow, she dresses up in fad with matching accessories and high heels.  In addition,  she doesn’t need modern devices to rejoice in being with another for she’s clingy and needy—- an independent woman who anyone can count on.  She doesn’t hangout in social media 24/7.  She sleeps all by herself for the longest time… but her feelings always remain true even if she’s nobody’s queen.

MAMAHALIN MO RIN AKO!!!

ROXEE B. – Morena Lyrics
mamahalin.
morin morin ako
mamahalin
morin morin ako
Dahil iba ako magmahal
ang isang Morena
inis na inis
sa sa sarili ko
in love na in love kasi sa iyo
inip na inip sa pagtingin mo
tunay na tunay
nararamdaman ko
baliw na baliw ka sa lahi ng iba
hibang na hibang ka sa mga kutis nila
silaw na silaw sa naka postura
bilib na bilib sa kanyang itsura
sa isang kindat mo
natutunaw ako saya sa aking dibdib
ay may uma-apaw
may lukso ng dugo ng
tanging pangarap ko’y
makasama sa araw araw
pansinin mo naman ako
buksan mo rin naman ang puso mo
labis labis ay iyong nadarama
dahil ibang mag mahal
ang isang morena
mamahalin
morin morin ako
mamahalin
morin morin ako
Dahil iba ako magmahal
ang isang Morena
Hirap na hirap mag hintay sa pag-ibg mo
ilang na ilang talaga ako sa’yo
bilang na bilang ang mga sulyap mo
lutang na lutang kakaispi sa’yo
sa isang kindat mo
natutunaw ako saya sa aking dibdib
ay may uma-apaw
may lukso ng dugo ng
tanging pangarap ko’y
makasama sa araw araw


By Roxee B “Morena”

always dancing on my own

Stout_Lady_in_bra_and_girdle

No one sees me standing there

A wallflower unnoticed and unseen

Too old and unpleasant to anyone’s sight

Only the lovely young ladies get the chance

Not the measure of what is in the heart

For only the face values that matter to many

The music begins and everyone is on their feet

Shadows of the night and teardrops from the sky

They’re holding hands while I am dancing on my own

My existence unappreciated, my talents unknown

Others get the rewards of the fruits of my labors

There’s no one there, nobody listens and no one cares

My generosity is my stupidity, sharing is a joke

In this hopeless place, that jolly girl loses her smile

No more rainbows to paint and her laughter is taken

That girl sees him with another and I know how it feels

She’s not invited on the dance floor, like me always dancing alone

 

 

 

All Butterflies are DEAD, Gorgeous!

I never said a word to anyone that I got a used device especially to my siblings.  Except to this friend who interrogated me like a NBI officer.  So the reaction was kinda expected.  If it were my brethren, straight to my face they’ll definitely say that I am stupid for giving people the opportunity to cheat me with my money.  I can hear so many of them saying, ‘so much… what a ridiculous deal!!! over$$$…”  What you said… how about the??? Where is it??? Not true to your words… Isn’t it part of the deal too???  This stupid girl must maintain mum…. not saying a word… for at least I got something functional to use.

Yeah, that’s me always naive… thinking that work is work… not realizing for some work is grabbing the chances of finding flowers to play around.  What a professional!!!! All my efforts were worthless, as always the credits would never go to me…. So much for my sincerity and dedication… Is this is a place claimed as Christ-centered??? They only see, the loud and for the show… Not the ones with true and dedicated hearts.

Good thing that there are still children for they adore and like me purely. Not only perceiving where you from, what is your height and weight and it doesn’t matter of you’re already ancient.  Children taught me beauty skin deep really matters.  Thank you for appreciating me all the time because others don’t.  Thank you for being grateful for whatever I have done.

I like closing my eyes because it is when I see my Papa.  Thirteen years ago, I had the chance to be with him.  Then, they were saying it was a miracle and my Papa saved me.  That time I had a dream, and I was told by few people that it was Jesus I heard and saw.  He aided me to be back to life. Fine.  Miracle, helping and saving for what? I was less of a sinner then.  I was pure and naive.  I am always the jolly girl.  Isn’t it existing only prolong my suffering? Then, what for???

The beautiful garden I cultivated and nurtured for us, Gorgeous are covered with weeds.  All the flowers withered and the trees lost the will to exist.  The gloominess of the place drove all creatures away.  There were no insects hanging around, even the butterflies are already dead, Gorgeous… you too… gone to so many gardens… probably, to your end…. I forgot, am I talking about mine?

Papa be in my dreams all over again… not anyone.. but you alone!

dead-leaf-butterfly

What’s Useless, My Gorgeous?

Check this out! I own something many people won’t expect that I will have. Clueless of the tools’ uses and functions. But thanks to YouTube for educating me because the equipment is indeed handy.

Many of my cheap watches are no longer functioning because of the batteries. The repair of each is costly. So, I decided to buy the watch tools on sale a month ago. Since I am not feeling well today due to cramps, I kept myself by studying and trying out the tools I got. (Oops, forgive me Father for I missed church today).

Check it out, I managed to use it accordingly. Are my cheap watches and tools useless? What’s useless, my Gorgeous? You will only know unless you’ll give it a try. Will you?

Have a nice day, my Gorgeous! May God always bless you!

Let’s Dance, My Gorgeous!

When any of us will willingly step out to the dance floor?

Will we just let this music of ours fade away?

What tune are we waiting to let it be and groove?

Are we still hiding in the shadows of our wits?

When will we be courageous to show them?

The spotlight is ours to outshine them with our song!

Many times, I don’t want to let you slip away

Yet, you keep on looking for many partners

When the rhythm stops, you’re alone on the centre stage

Don’t you know that actions speak louder than words?

My Gorgeous, what scares me is same as your fearS

There’s nothing erroneous in our beings

We are God’s magnificent and beloved children

Hold my hand and never let go, LISTEN for once!

My Gorgeous, heaven is playing our song once more

The orchestra of saints and choir of angels

Let’s dance, my Gorgeous for I am truly yours…

Today is the second day of the talk that I attend full day in Bukit Timah at the Church of Holy Cross. I missed Catechism session but I handed to my friend, the Children’s Day presents I prepared for them. I am happy to bring joy to everyone despite my absence. I missed them so much!

During the groupings in our session, I was told that I had a gift. I never thought of it. All this time, I kinda believe that I am shy and doesn’t know how to interact with strangers.

Simple Joys, My Gorgeous!

It was a scene where I am In someone else’s shoes, a naive bratenella surrounded by pretentious people. Despite the fake friendliness, someone caught my attention. He was blunt, straightforward and he hated me so much. He spoke in a language, I couldn’t understand. Nonetheless, despite how awful that person, he was the only one true to me in that scene. As I pondered going off, my alarm kept on ringing. I overslept!!!! (I slept more than 10 hours)

❤️❤️❤️My mood for the day 😊😍😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

Gorgeous, I was occupied taking photos yesterday. Out of nowhere, a child gave me a tulip flower pen. Tulips were connected to a sad memory but that child’s generosity and thoughtfulness made me smile throughout the day. Thanks to my colleague and another student who gave me presents yesterday. Even it was Children’s Day celebration, I still got presents too. Part of me will always remain a child😂😂😂

I am so inspired today. So even if I reached home late, I decided to do some artwork. I coloured my original version of the Angelus. I couldn’t erase the smile in my heart even if I have two more lessons to complete. I am truly filled with joy deep within, my Gorgeous! Just gleeful and contented today.

Thank you, Gorgeous for the simple joys. May the silent of my heart reached you. Even in insignificant little events, I could still find happiness and warmth in my heart. At the end of the day, you were sending messages and meeting others, it doesn’t matter anymore because it is your choice of merriment. After all, I am someone who doesn’t demand nor expect so much from others.

Gorgeous, take a good rest! I’ll hold and kiss you in my dreams again and again. I am told with many things, what’s the big deal? Only God, my Creator has the final say,

Good night, I will absolutely miss you. Enjoy the rest of the week while I keep you in my mind, heart and soul!

Love U2!!! Always and unchanging.

Gorgeous, who has the final say?

The Attack of the Titans again. My friend told me that the authorities have the final say. But do they? The Titans can find fault on me. Yet, no one can’t take away my talents and contributions.

Thank you, Gorgeous for bringing sunshine in my darkness. Thank you for your presence when my light was out of flame. Just finished my sketch for this Saturday’s session’s activity. See, this is my childish version of the Angelus. (Hope the children will like it😊)

Hello,Gorgeous, My Beloved!

MINE BUT NOT MINE!

It belonged to me but it wasn’t mine. Almost a month ago, while decluttering my mess, I randomly took my old casings. Then, I yelled to the universe, ‘I’ll have my phone back!’ Guess what, I am currently using a phone same model but I paid the price. This phone is used not by my hands but by someone else that seen and heard the details of the truth and so many secrets. Should it be to my dismay? At least, this is functional… I blurted something before. What’s the moral of the story? Should I believe or not believe? Lord, enlighten me then—

….

The God I am serving is fair and just.

Excuse me ladies, there’s no envy in my heart. Don’t think too much! One thing is certain, I am definitely bad in faking and flirting. I am all-work-no-play type of gal. Come on, it’s just so obvious, the gender and race biases. I maybe a female but I did extra miles. I may not speak the language but I unselfishly shared my intellect and talents, always devoted and committed not for the glory of mankind but for the God above us all. At the end of the day, I always shake it off… I let it be because I know for sure that I don’t labour to put up a show. Why bother when you sit with a few and I serve many? Then, the chances is high that I’ll gather the vote of the majority. The likes of you will come briefly and go quickly, unremembered like a hush of the wind. Whereas I am the one who comes with the storm and goes with lingering roots; and then, leaving significant marks to many souls. Badmouth me to many and reach all the way to the TOP! Spread out may flaws based on your opinion. The truth that I am holding will always prevail. The innocent and voiceless are my comrades to rise from the downfall you brought upon me.

….

HELLO GORGEOUS…

As expected, you’re in the heights of everything… you’re conquered by the one you presumed whom deserved you according to human standards’ checklist. Good for you, the future is bright and certain for you. Does it how really life works everything according to your plan? Well, you’re too young to draw conclusions. Nonetheless, your happiness is all that matters. Will it change everything? I am probably the reincarnate of a 15th century woman who still believes that the heart knows more than the wits. In this modern world, I am one hopeless romantic believing that God’s plan is beautiful and His time is perfect. Forevermore trusting in Him. God bless you, Gorgeous! May resting in another’s chest will bring you true and lasting joy.

Gorgeous, My Beloved!

May the spirit of the Lord be with you, the minute you closed your eyes to slumber and open them to greet the new day. May you find it in your heart the authenticity of my personality, no sugarcoating… just me, only me… no bad intentions. I don’t have to prove you wrong to delete all your negative impressions about me. It’s alright for my imperfections give me rooms for improvements, be reminded of my virtues and acknowledged that there’s a God working in me. I always do. Nothing has changed. The space is all yours… find me then if you’ll be so lost once more. I love you and I do! Always….

It’s Bye-Bye, Gorgeous!

He was a naive and happy boy. He remained faithful even if others were notorious. A humble young man and very respectful. I called him a young gentleman whose loving parents and his wonderful friends always adored. He was the boy whom I perceived to have the potential of holiness similar to his predecessors. However,even I didn’t expect any of them to stay for long, goodbye still wasn’t that easy to say. Indeed, it was too soon for adieu but this young handsome boy had to leave us due to considerable circumstances.

Goodbye, Louis! May God bless you always…. thanks for the respect and journeying in faith with all us. Thanks for sharing us your time and presence. You will always be remembered and the good memories you shared with us will remain in all our hearts. Louis, see you not only in church. One day, see you in heaven😇🙏🏻

I’m glad that I had a good phone to capture and share the moment.

Gorgeous. Target: 30 and less

Photo and video taking… I hate these coz I am reminded that I no longer taking good care of myself. Now, I weigh so much and my waist is 3 inches more. What???

Fasting isn’t a new concept. For centuries, people have temporarily restricted their food intake for religious reasons. In the past few years, intermittent fasting — when you don’t eat for anywhere from 16 – 48 hours (or more) — has gained traction for its incredible effects on disease and aging.

WHAT IS INTERMITTENT FASTING?

Intermittent fasting is the process of cycling in and out of periods of eating and not eating. Although people do experience weight loss with intermittent fasting, it is less of a diet plan and more of a lifestyle choice to reap some incredible health benefits.

Hope this works on me… I even forgot to jog or do Zumba… what’s my problem?

I am not worthy, Gorgeous…

Forgive me Gorgeous for being judgemental… what do I know that those women are your happiness rocking your bed all day long? One thing I am certain, I’ll remain true and unfading. My actions are not to please others but for the glory my creator and be one with him in the day of parousia. God told me to bring you along… but you already chose what you think is your happiness. Lord, can I bring the ones I used to know, they were way much better in many ways? (100% more) Lord, please… if not, help me then!!!

I am unworthy because I am judgemental… I hope they are truly nice and meant it… not putting a show to get the guy!

Never Too Late, Gorgeous!

“What’s with the bag?” my friend wondered with a big question mark written all over her face. Well, here’s the backstory…

I WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST!

In my primary days, I wanted to be an ARTIST. I remembered when I was nine, I helped a neighbour in drawing for a school project. Then, my neighbour’s older Sister exclaimed behind my back (that I overheard) stating that my drawing was very ugly. Then, my parents told me not to waste my crayons and cheap watercolour on drawing nonsense. So, I learned to be resourceful then, I made paper dolls and clothes out of cigarette boxes and paper packaging. I drew for my Friend, Sister and Cousin. I made my dolls and their accessories for the opportunities to use my interest in drawing. No one bothered in encouraging me to draw but I never stopped. Then, there was one instance, one of my P6 Teachers gave us a project to make a card. To my surprise, my guidance counsellor displayed my work at the bulletin along the school corridor. Everyday I looked at it with silence pride and admiration. I never told my parents nor my siblings that it was my artwork. I only whispered to myself, “one day, I’ll have the chance…”

I WANTED TO BE A WRITER

In my secondary days, I am not very good in expressing myself verbally. So, I said every boiling and cluttering emotions inside aloud using only my pen and paper. When Journalism was introduced in my Sec 2 days, I fell in love with it thinking that one day I could be a writer too. Nonetheless, my grammar was totally off and my vocabulary was so limited. Moreover, despite my limitations, I continued writing starting with a diary pouring there all my anguish towards my Mother. The funny thing about my mother then, she said all the negative things about me. But, when I am in school and friends I was accepted even I am poor, short, dark, fat, ugly and not smart. There were so many people who were very dear to me because I am true to myself, naive, easily laughed and didn’t care about what others thought about me… although at times, I had shallow tears. Going back in my secondary days, I had no chance to write but I told my Papa that I wanted to take either Fine Arts or Journalism in college. He only firmly responded that I could take any course in the field of Engineering. So, I did study five years in Computer Engineering. However, my parents didn’t know that I was accepted in the school paper in my freshman year in college. I even topped the exam, which I went through series of writings and there was also an interview with a professor. My Papa didn’t know that I also earned money from my peers and others by writing scripts, poetry and research. What did my parents know that I was paid as a ghost writer? I even wrote speeches for others. In college, nobody even knew that when I stood in front at everyone, (despite my tardiness), my speech was impromptu. Nonetheless, despite the experience, it is a long way for me to go to really write professionally. If only I managed to write my thesis… Well, there will be a time for that….

I WANTED TO CLIMB MOUNTAINS

My Father lived in a mountainous area, I was eleven when I had my first mountain climbing experience in my Papa’s birthplace and I enjoyed it tremendously. Thus, every school holidays, I really wanted to go to places with elevated areas and also climbed on trees. I always told my closest cousins to go hiking and go for mountain climbing. When I was in college, I am very fortunate to found friends who loved nature. We went to different places enjoying our liberty and youth as being one with nature. We even swore to climb higher heights more after we would graduate and also I said the same vow to my cousin… Sadly, something went wrong along the way and I forgot how to have fun and have that sense of adventure. Did I become boring? Probably, I did. Then, a month ago, I saw this bag…. Wow! I always wanted to have one like what mountaineers had on as seen on TV. When I touched it, all the memories flashed back….

I exclaimed at that moment, “it’s never too late!”

A young boy that I used to know claimed all this infatuated nonsense to me. To hear from a child was not flattering but the content of that conversation reminded me now that my attitude towards life and embracing who I am makes me a beautiful person.

He was one of those boys that young girls of his age chased. His friend revealed about something and I answered in disgust, “I can be his Mother.”😖. His friend replied, “…but you’re not…”🙄🙄🙄

I had a chance to speak with that boy together with another of his friend and it was not in private nor in secluded area. The boy admit and as the adult it was not something that I entertained. (Honestly, I took it as a joke. It happened for several occasions. Come on, I am just so used to it. God, one day all of these crap would stop) I was not taking it seriously and said, “you could have seen me now because I am wearing fashionable dresses, high heels and lipstick. Those girls you ignored and hardly noticed will blossom in time. While my skin will lose its glow and I will have wrinkles.”

The boy simply answered, “it’s ok if you aged because there’s surgery. You can surgery the appearance but you can never alter one’s personality.”

Almost a decade ago a boy said that, not in my dreams nor a scene in a movie. Where’s that boy now? I don’t know. I vaguely remembered him but those words reminded me that…

Age is just made of numbers and it doesn’t matter and it’s no big deal. Young or old everyone has equal share of happiness. I deserve it! Indeed, it’s never too late for me. Gorgeous, it’s never late!!! You know that too well too!!!

Gorgeous Drunken Monkeys 🐒

On Friday 13th, I slept early and peacefully. At the comfort of my bed, it felt you were at my side for the touch and kisses seemed real. I begged you not to let go but you left when my clock ticked at 1 am. Tell me, was it good or bad?

One of my drunken monkeys attacked me again. I thought that I fought this effectively and I am totally over with this silly infatuation same as it happened many times in the past. This drunken monkey causing my heart to beat so fast again reminding me the sound of your voice and how simply gorgeous you were. Of course, the secret is unsealed. It’s mine to keep, no need for the world to know.

All this time, I am certain that you are home to so many of them. Nonetheless, this gorgeous drunken monkey often tells me… nope, I am wrong. The more I denied it, the more I lost my calmness and balance.

So, I couldn’t bring myself to sleep again. Wow! Is this drunken monkey for real? I should check with Buddha on how to deal with him. Well, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this for my heart is as true and pure as always.

After sincerely uttering my prayers, I had some midnight snacks (some old habit came back to me). Gorgeous, wherever you are, always find me in your heart. Rest assured that in my ways, I never disappointed nor turned my back on you. The world will betray and leave you alone in the darkness. No worries, for I’ll offer not only my hand but all of me. Empty words? Why? How do you know? Do you even have the guts to try?

No Doubt, Gorgeous!

To think about it, I was neither a good nor a perfect Daughter. There were number of occasions when I put my father’s patience into a test. He even cried once when I really pushed his button to its boiling point. Frankly, I never hated my Father, not even once. In fact, all my life, he was and always be the only man whom I truly and forever love. My love for him isn’t romantic that diminishes with age because it is ageless, immeasurable, timeless and unconditional. Perhaps, I acted badly in my past towards my Papa because with my him I am not judged but I am loved for who I am.

My Papa, he knew me too well. He didn’t have to go through every entry of my journal just to find the names of boys I adored. Well, there was quite a number of them and there were many to mention. There were instances, he told me to go for one…. the truth that I did like those boys… Did I love them? Maybe, in my fantasies and made-to-believe world. In my reality, I had to do something for myself and for Papa too. Did I lust for any of them? Of course, so many times. Fortunately, I am very grateful for my strong will to control the needs of my flesh. If it’s unbearable in countless instances, I oftentimes pray to God so that I can resist temptations.

Gorgeous, NO DOUBT, I prefer the opposite sex rather than same as mine. Love is abstract: no age, gender, nationality, height & weight. Nonetheless, for my preference… I love men! NOT BECAUSE I AM KEEPING EVERYTHING YO MYSELF, IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I HAVE A CHANGE OF PREFERENCE….

Gorgeous, I do like men and always will… God and Papa know that too… you’re the only one who doesn’t know— At the end of the day, I’ll remain to be who I am and be my best in all I do. Love yah❤️😍😍

Gorgeous, My Cake is Underneath the Rain

All soaked with wetness inside

The rain dried on my cheeks

Gorgeous, please feel my heartbeat

Not walking on the boulevard alone

Don’t take another direction

For I’m here all along waiting

Did you ever taste my specialty?

Fresh from the oven baked with love

Gorgeous, wake me up from dreaming

You’re real, not another fantasy

Gorgeous, eat my cake & savour its sweetness

Don’t let anyone take what’s yours

Save my cake underneath the rain

Heartily prepared & reserved only for you❤️❤️❤️❤️

Gorgeous, i DIED today X^.^X

Everyone’s so soft

Everyone’s so sensitive

Do I offend you?

You’re hanging on my sentences

You can keep your costume and you can keep your mask

I’mma take a bow, so you can kiss my ass

I never signed up for your drama

Up for your drama, up for your drama club

I never signed up for your drama

Up for your drama club

No need to get tissues for this is no corny drama of hate and regrets. Yes, I died today…. I killed my insecurities and inferiorities. My friend encouraged me to be in her video. Well, I am not telegenic and in my bucket list to be in the video is definitely not included. So, to support my Friend I did it anyway!

I murdered that shy girl in me to awaken the toughness within. All of us are beautiful in multiple ways. If they can, I can too!

I will make through like everyone else! I die to live and embrace the multiple facades of the admirable and loveable me. This crybaby is a dignified woman worthy of many things. After all, we are free— free to love who we choose and free to be who we are and what become!

Good night, Gorgeous!!!! Love you very much❤️😁😘❤️😍😍

Music and movies — beautifully strange movies — have always gone hand-in-hand for Melanie Martinez, whose feature directorial debut, “K-12,” will have a one-day-only theatrical engagement on Wednesday ahead of its worldwide streaming launch Friday.

Just finished watching the K-12 Musical film. Well done, Crybaby! You did it again but this time you save the day!!!!

Your Dead Eyes, Gorgeous!

Btw, didn’t I mention it? Got this for you with all the love from my heart❤️😘😍 Remind me then…

But your dead eyes only see the tricks of visuals that don’t go beyond and under… Honestly, I keep many things to myself. I am good in being true and hiding. I don’t show off nor deceive and more…

(like playing dumb, trying so hard to impress, being helpless, overly dependent, so obsessive & controlling, acting as if like a six year old, putting cosmetics, wearing a mask, owning branded stuff… I do what I do because it’s who I am..).

👀SEE WITH YOUR HEART❤️

I say a little prayer for you every day & night. Good night, don’t cry and be Super upset Gorgeous! It’s normal to get hurt and not everything works according to your plans. Let God be in control. One day, you’ll meet the Divine, Gorgeous. He keeps on reaching for you but you keep on relying on yourself and others too. No worries, our Maker always finds time and a way to get into your heart.

I AM Love

I AM Loved

I AM Lovable

I AM Worthy

I AM a Magnificent Being

I deserve to be loved, adored and cherished

Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/prayer/2009/06/soulmate-prayers.aspx#gKxEBvFHgbIkoX53.99

The Victory is Mine, Gorgeous!

Lesbian? Me? Seriously???? It’s not because I am not good in playing dumb or helpless in forgetting & knowing little things nor putting excessive effort to have the same interests just to talk with the guy— I am already playing with my teammates. After all I have been through in the matter of the heart, I learned to shut up and kept my distance. I am not good with flirting, I am only expert in being true to myself.

Lesbian? I have nothing against what others prefer to love and who they wanted to be with. After all, it’s not a question of sexual identity but who truly I am as a person. I won’t say that I am one to justify my choice of being all by myself.

When I left for work, I go straight home… I saw the direction where you were heading. Bus stop???? Going further end… Did I see someone there??? Congratulations, because you’re finally opening your heart! Is it for triumph or heartbreak? Love is romantic at the beginning and lovers are the sweetest when they start building castles on the sand. Love has its perks for many end in tragedies, lovers lost and some may become foes. It is not question of the degree and excitement you must felt because you know yourself too well… How long can you stay pretending to be perfect for each other when you’re both bound to your flaws? Is it always a show you put up to satisfy the crowd? I hope after the series of lovemaking and waltzing in the dark, no one will walk cold and hurt. Rejoice while you can because nothing lasts forever. However, my heart will remain true for when I love it’s eternal.

The stone rejected will become the cornerstone and the humble will exulted. I thought the news yesterday would kill me but I continued to be myself and concealed my pain because what’s new anyway. I am defeated and rejected so many times in my life. I survive it all alone. Not anyone can do that but I did. See, gorgeous… whatever is said I am victorious because this pain is just a pinch of a needle compared to the greater suffering that so many people around the world are experiencing.

SERIOUSLY??? (That price though🙀)

Burn It Down, Gorgeous!

The cycle repeated

As explosions broke in the sky

All that I needed

Was the one thing I couldn’t find

And you were there at the turn

Waiting to let me know

I have ears that can hear. Then, I know what is said without comprehension. I don’t have to understand what I already know. Congrats!!!! So, got someone you finally claimed…. You should have known better, if you’ve given my heart a chance…

For in this judgmental world where people immediately jump into the gun without finding out my side of the story. I only hope, they have the innocent hearts and clear eyes like the children. Teachers’ Day today, I am grateful to be given the opportunity to share my skills to young minds. I only hope that those children seen my devotion and commitment in the craft that I chose… Gorgeous, I hope you too will see that everything I have done is rooted from my heart. God knows that I am keeping my distance even if I wanted to be closer…. very very close…

Every time my heart explodes, I always remind myself that I have not done anything wrong. For with all my heart, I have all the good intentions. You may define me boring, what do you know about me anyway? I still love One Piece… Won’t you mind, let’s hit he cinema and catch the new flick? Oops… my bad…

My dream pair of shoes…. sorry, my money left is allocated for savings.

We’ll Be There, Gorgeous! At the Celestial City…

Of course, you’re welcome too Gorgeous. The Celestial City is the place for you and me, and so many people around the globe. The King invited everyone and I am taking you there too. No worries wherever you are because in time, you will look for it too.

John Bunyan’s book, ‘ The Pilgrim’s Progress’ is truly an inspiring and moving allegory of our faith.

John Bunyan – “The Pilgrim’s Progress” – “The River of Death and the Celestial City”

Before the start of the passage, Christian picked up two other pilgrim buddies, Hopeful and Ignorance, but Ignorance is lame (literally) and is left behind. Now their journey is near the end and the pilgrims are nearing the Celestial City, but it shines so much in the sun, its walls being made of pure gold, that they can’t look at it directly. They are approached by two men whose faces and clothes shine like the sun and the men ask them who they are and where they are coming from. After hearing the answers, they tell them two more obstacles on their way before they get to the Celestial City, but they have to overcome them on their own. They lead them to a deep river and tell them they have to cross it by themselves, as nobody except for Enoch and Elijah was spared crossing it and nobody ever will until the end of the world. The river is also of varied depth, depending on your faith you may find it deep or shallow. And indeed, when they step into it, Hopeful can hold his head above the water, while Christian is sinking. This is the allegory of the moment of death, where even pious Christians (as plenty of historical testimonies show) were oppressed not only by physical pain, but also psychological torment of doubting their own salvation, especially Calvinists, who could never be certain whether they were among “the elect”. Christian is not only sinking, but also sees the visions of hobgoblins and evil spirits, and in general he is sure he won’t make it to the other bank. Hopeful keeps his head above the water and tries to comfort him. When he reminds Christian about the promise of salvation made by Jesus, Christian finally regains his hope and immediately finds the ground under his feet. When they are on the firm ground, they are greeted by angels and taken to the city where they are asked to produce their certificates. The King reads the certificates and tells them to open the gates for them. Then they are given harps, crowns, general rejoicing etc. Then comes the real gloomy punchline: Ignorance comes hobbling late, and he gets through the river without any problems because he finds a ferryman called Vain Hope. But when he gets on the shore and the angels ask him to produce his certificate, he can’t find any, and he is thrown bound into a hole that leads to hell. “So I awoke”, ends Bunyan’s narrator blithely, completely accepting that somebody who is aware of Christian doctrine (because Ignorance says “I have eat and drank in the presence of the King”) and went through the journey can be still damned if he doesn’t know the right sort of Christianity and is not among the elect.

Source: https://readingnorton.wordpress.com/2017/08/06/john-bunyan-the-pilgrims-progress-the-river-of-death-and-the-celestial-city/

Think Positive, Gorgeous!

Say what u wanna say

You can’t ruin my day

Count the many you laid

Don’t care what is said

On my lonesome bed

The fantasies in my head

You can have so many

I may never choose any

For the true winner

The world’s greatest loser

Not counting the deeds

Always the heart bleeds

Still the fighter & survivor

Not relying on other’s favor

Circumstances are dangerous

Always think positive, Gorgeous!

Source: https://stomp.straitstimes.com/singapore-seen/long-queue-outside-uniqlo-store-for-kaws-t-shirts-i-feel-that-its-a-waste-of-time

Source: https://www.worldofbuzz.com/msians-trash-a-uniqlo-outlet-again-to-get-new-kaws-summer-collection-t-shirts/

Thanks to social media and also to UNIQLO. Kaws’ Companion designs are never out of trend, from the late 90’s until this time… Well, there were so many who took the long queue and survived the stampede whereas all I did was click. Besides, I am not in a rush and a week of waiting is alright. YOU KNOW TOO WELL, I’M GOOD AT WAITING GORGEOUS! PATIENCE IS INDEED MY TRUE VIRTUE! I love fads but I am not a fan of the crowds.

Welcome to the Realm of Angels, Gorgeous!

The art of dead malice, indeed! I’ve seen it and known but I chose my silence rather than battle with those malicious minds who overlooked justice and logical reasons. Enjoy bad-mouthing!!! Gossiping must be very fun. It was a very short passage. I maybe naive in many ways but I am very quick the spot the difference. Well, I wouldn’t be a scholar for nothing if I am unable to see every little details of that scene where I walked into as the sun rising high at the east. Oh, sister!!! Do practice what you preach!!! Do you think I couldn’t comprehend that fake smile of yours? Despite my observation, I let it off my shoulders because my intentions were purely innocent and filled with joy in my heart with the simple gesture I did. No more discouragements for I am not the double-minded nor the wishy-washy. After all, the most naive and truthful heart is blessed by the Hands of the Almighty in many ways.

I received these cards today, one from my student and another from a friend. Where are my manners? Thank you very much for being my angels, reminding me what a beautiful person I am despite the shades and bitterness. No more drama because I made several people blissful in my simple ways. I am always grateful to God even the route is always rough because I made it through all the time. The evilness in the surrounding will not destroy me anymore. Whatever the circumdtances, I still triumph because I made a difference to so many. I may no longer the ‘Miss Nicki Minaj’ and the object of those boys sudden hormonal changes; yet, I am still that same person whose desires are not clouded with selfish intent but with purity and innocence of my heart to do good for the God I glorify and to people I exist with…

I was in a historical old French archtectural post office in Ho Chi Min City. I am reminded of my old school days. Indeed, it was been so long since I wrote and actually mailed letters. I remembered how my Papa used to send my letters to the office. ‘Here, I am Papa writing again but you’re no longer my messenger’. Everyone was writing, so I wrote to my friends for Teachers’ Day… it was my way of thanking them. Then, I wrote my Mama and sister too. Yet, I made a lame mistake of not writing their names on the card. Too bad, my letter wouldn’t make it…. eventually, it did…

My friend said I am her angel too. It made me so joyful. Gorgeous, this is the realm of angels not the world of despair. Choose wisely and don’t quick in jumping into conclusions. Learn to see beyond looks; yet, what truly lies beneath… Gorgeous, let your divine wisdom help you decide who is who. I am everyone’s angel too… if only you let me. Take care… it’s TGIF! Have fun and my prayers are yours. May my guardian angel protect you always!

Gorgeous, you’re always welcome! The door is always open for you!

You Need to Calm Down, Gorgeous

Chill! A cold drink will resolve it all! Cheers! After all, you made it that far and make excel in what your doing.  Ones hobby becomes ones sport bringing pride to yourself and so many. Congratulations!  I guess, I knew what isn’t untold.

Chill! Don’t panic… Hope you make it and manage to do what you really want…

me vain

You need to just stop
Like can you just not step on my gown?
You need to calm down

taylor and katy

Good night. Chill. Keep calm. Take care and keep it up!

me again

 

Gorgeous, I am triumphant…

Don’t assume so much. It’s not all about you. Quite annoying, six years old kids even remember even if they only come once a week!!! I wanted to pee and those kids were no angels…. if you came to be the disciplinarian… what a slap at my face! I supposed to wait at the door but there you came along… I am stuck! My little monsters chaotic coz I was disrupted by such irresponsibility and carelessness! Why should I suffer for ones mishap? Anyway, my apologies… too bad, I am not good at faking and pretending… Gorgeous, so such turn you on? Mercy your soul! You should have known better. Your wise, Gorgeous.

Yet, whatever make you smile despite your dispair. Be happy. I am no local but I have done more for others. Hence, no mistress of the night and flirty bees take away whatever I am more than capable of doing.

I walk the path of patience, not the passage of passion. Gorgeous, surely make you proud aside the fact that I don’t forget what a six-year child can remember.

Good night, Gorgeous… take care… XOXO.. Mwaahhh!!!

Maybe. Gorgeous.

Maybe. It’s always me.

It’s not about them nor you

The chaos of the devil within

Constant battle in progress

Logic & reasons aren’t enough

Definitely, the struggles are real

No fear is greater than my wits

My creativity is my weapon

My imagination is my power

My will belongs to me alone

Maybe. Gorgeous…

My angels couldn’t cheer me

No goodness can change facts

But, nothing is permanent

We are all bound to changes

Maybe, there’s always time

Maybe, God knows when & how

Maybe. A little maybe…

Those kisses are not for the winds

The romance not only in my head

The wonderland we’ll soon explore

Electric touch uniting our souls

For heavens bless the cry of our flesh

We can never question the Divine

The garden you explore for now

Those flowers that wither with time

Maybe. There’s…

Thank you very much!!!

I’d rather be silent and discreet

I sound loud but I am always quiet

Maybe, there’s more to our stories untold
Maybe, you know but I don’t. Maybe vice versa…

starbucks2

 

 

My Eyes Don’t Lie, Gorgeous!

The pain shattered me into pieces that I am not into myself today. I came late for work and even for my early meeting. Honestly, I was unprepared but I pulled everything off. I didn’t even what to teach but again I made it.

I don’t want anymore, Lord. Flashing before eyes, the ones I used to know. What’s the difference of then and now? All I know was write and eventually that’s all about it. No more infatuations and pretend obsession….

I am sick in the heart… during the evening meeting, my friends told me that my eyes lookee exhausted. Indeed, the reflection of my heart! See, Gorgeous… Know it that my eyes don’t lie! I have nothing to brag about my physical attributes, lineage and wealth. All I know that I remain to be truthful and although it’s a struggle— my ultimate challenge, I’ll remain to be kind.

Good night, Gorgeous! Take care… of course, someone like you will never break your heart. Be safe and see you in my dreams.

I’m the Last, Gorgeous!

After what I heard, I am totally discourged and hopeless. That achy feeling woke me at dawn, I yelled out in the darkness of my room but unheard by you. Nope, not again. I despised when my flesh cried out for your caress for it will never happen anyway. It’s not easy being a woman when you exist in this era. The likes of you are lucky gorgeous, no need to wander and wait. So many of them are willing to wait in your long queue.

But, it doesn’t matter. Not because they’re there… they can stand your blasting storm and unpredictable tides. Will they be able to fly with you swiftly in times life is at its worst. Oh, I’m always last in the queue. Indeed, I am th last one, Gorgeous.

❤️😇 According to Jesus’ today, “‘Yes, there are those now last who will be first, and those now first who will be last.”

Finish colouring these artworks…

Look, Gorgeous! My drawings come to life!!! Will the kids love these too??? Hope they will…

Good night, Gorgeous! Be safe and take care always. God bless!!!!

The End, Gorgeous…

My heart felt so heavy. Why you must say it aloud in my dreams when it was all I have of my little joys of being with you? The truth of the matter, I failed today’s session. Despite how I practice the song this morning, I still unable to remember the tunes when I sang in front of the kids. Fortunately, my friend came to the rescue. Singing isn’t really for me. I only sing to piss people and to satisfy my imagination.

My heart really felt heavy but it won’t be the reason for me to quit because I will never stop on believing in myself and God’s goodness. I really felt bad… perhaps, Jon Snow and Tyrion felt worst. The end of Games of Thrones left a scar in my heart. I feared that the dragon would burn Jon alive. Nope, he melted the Iron Throne that Cersei and Danaerys fought over. There was no more Iron Throne. The end.

💔💔💔

Some stories end while ours is still written in progress by the hands of God. I believe. There’s no end for we still exist.

(Today was the worst session. The only thing I said unforgettable was the Profession of Faith in the Apostles’ Creed. I understimated the kids for they knew it. One of them wrote the whole creed in his journal. Despite my heavy heart, I am reminded to just believe in what I BELIEVE)

Winner Gorgeous!

I managed a race of bots today. The winner was me and the grand prize was the gleeful faces on the children’s face. Thank you, Gorgeous for the reminders. Sorry I had to do what I ought today. Duties always come first before anything else. What a tedious day but all my hard work paid off!!! Despite the weight on my shoulders, I managed to prepare the materials for tomorrow’s session. After I attended the 6pm mass, I was able to finish and keep the materials.

My prize is a recorder. Even music isn’t my cup of tea. I tried my best to play the tune of the song ‘Mary Had a Little Lamp’. Is your lamp little, Gorgeous? Let me se… Well, it doesn’t matter at all😍😘❤️. Playing some notes was a stress relief even if I was out of tune! Gorgeous, wait. Well, you’re always gorgeous as usual and as ever!

Gotcha, Gorgeous! Gotcha!

Gotcha options for you wanna gotcha one

You gonna like them especially for you

You gotta love them all, Gorgeous!!!

Pick one or two or have them all

The choice is always yours, you know….

Gotcha, Gorgeous! Heard loud & clear

Don’t have to know what you gotta say

The one that gotcha??? Or always me?

No songs into my ears, only voices

Why the announcenent hurt much?

No retreat, no surrender! Go, go, go!

Round and round like a carousel

Embracing my fate with grace

God bless my shattered pieces heart

Help me find joy in this injustice

Help me be kind despite others are not

Gotcha, gorgeous… gotcha!!!

Glad that you’re the happiest

Be careful not to break your heart too!

Remember, not all goddess are angels

Some queens quit when life goes low

Fly in cloud nine now and be warned

Lying on bed of roses, walking on thorns

Gotcha, gorgeous! This pain is deadly

But, I’m a survivor and a fighter….

Dancing with the mix rhythmn

Spontaneously going with the flow—

Thank you Lord for everything!!!!

Which Queen You Prefer, Gorgeous?

I am told of so many things today. Simpy, I don’t care. My hands are tight and I am even bringing work home. It’s easy to give orders… Come, let’s trade places!!!! Feel free to conduct, my last class today. Afterwards, I am so exhausted that I had no appetite of going out for lunch break. So, go ahead… judge me now?

I am an old schoo girl who lived in a cave but forced to toil in the modern world… A word of lies and deceptions, overflowing personal interests, using feminity to get the guys…. Of course, I am none! For no matter what others do, I’ll choose what is good for the interests of many and I’ll choose what is right even sometimes I am tempted to go downhill. Indeed, I am no queen who sits a king’s throne… others did freely but I never did without permission.

Who among those queens you prefer? Will gold save your soul? Will your passport give you free pass to heaven? Yes, I am no queen but God knows my heart too well. I don’t have wealth, bloodline and hour-glass body, V-shape face & other physical attributes to win you or any other males. Still I have confidence in myself because like Queen Cersie & Daenerys, I have survive on my own.

I don’t have dragons nor I don’t sit on an Iron throne. Gorgeous, wait! I have nothing to offer but I still care deeply more than anyone else.

The bees beside the sun, Gorgeous!

I scared myself thrice today. Noooh!!! Don’t switch off the lights!!!! I am scared of the dark. Not dim because that’s far dangerous for my mind will run wild— those wildest dreams and fantasies. I couldn’t stand… Lord, I did my best to be in control and to avoid. As I went my heart exploded in silence. The sunshine in darkness burnt the bees.

Next, left me in the room enjoying my food and a noontime show in my iPad. Rush… I have to digest my food fast. Excuse me, don’t have intention to join. The bees were choking when the sun’s radiance went into the room. No worries. I have no intention to stay. God knows that I never force myself to anyone. I walked catching my breath. Why you still make me breathless?

Yehey, I went earlier! But, my short legs’ steps were not fast enough. Okay, I took my time and went to the restroom. But, the bus was slower than me. Indeed, the bees melted beside the sun. Lord, bless my soul! That isn’t my intention. I love with all my heart. I only count my good deeds. I don’t want to annoy others but I want anyone to be happy.

What a scary day!!! The bees beside the sun lost their sting but the honey they carried is forever the sweetest. Wanna taste my honey, gorgeous?

Don’t want anyone, Gorgeous!

I long for a touch and just a little kiss

Your dazzling gaze, I truly miss

Your naughty smiles are enough

Make my heart giggle and laugh

***

On the streets and everywhere

Unlimited options are available

I’ve seen one and known them all

I don’t want anyone but only you

***

To Mary I pray tonight, let it be

I have faith in your judgments

My guardian angel will be your guide

Gorgeous, let’s be in heaven soon

***

No masks, no skeletons in my closet

God knows that I love you dearly

If my Papa can speak from the grave

He’ll say, “my girl is devoted to you!”

Today is the mass for the Feast Day of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Speaking of Mary, thank you Lord for answering my friend’s prayers. I am very happy for her. She’s the proof that a good and tough woman will stay foot.

I’ve seen them this morning. With my confidence in God, there were no more pangs of anger and envy deep within. Yes, they’re all pretty, petite and young. However, nationality and physical attributes are not assurance for someone to stick around and these qualities don’t justify the genuity of one’s heart. Can looks make you happy forevermore? What will happen when physical beauty diminish with time?

Anyway, I don’t know them— Let the Almighty enlighten your mind… the wisdom of God is yours, my everdearest Gorgeous!!!!

Goodnight😍😘😇😍

Whoops… Gorgeous!

Whoops kirri whoops kirri whoops

Everytime I see you

Whoops kirri whoops kirri whoops

I want to know you

Whoops kirri whoops kirri whoops

Hope you feel the same too

And I go whoops kirri kirri kirri whoops

I think I love you

Baby all your friends saw my eyes set upon you

I went crazy running in circles just to know you

Boy don’t you kiss me pretending you don’t see me

Don’t be blind, ease my mind, please be kind and love

Gorgeous! It’s a green, greenest grass of all!

Welcome back to both of us! In case you didn’t notice, the grasses are greener on my side. Way much healthy that no time nor sun can wither or destroy. What you didn’t know, I won with the power of my words. Thanks Dr Jose P Rizal, my fave and national hero! It’s true, the pen can be a weapon!

Well, are you green? Of course, you’re incomparibly beautiful than anything or anyone else. Hush, my sweet darling! My prayers are yours!!! Good night!

Gorgeous, Seasons in the Sun

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Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We’ve known each other for more than five years
Together we’ve laughed and chatted a lot
Learned about God and harshness of love
***
Goodbye my friend it was hard to say goodbye
When all the birds were singing in the sky
Now the days of togetherness are over
Handsome boys are everywhere
Think of me for I’m always here

***

We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the places we’ve been
Were just seasons out of time

***

We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the food and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
***
Goodbye my friend, see you someday
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

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I’m flying without wings, Gorgeous!

Things happened unexpectedly and gone wrongly for me to savour the real essence of life’s delights. The sight of heartbreaking remnants of war and the depressing reality of the marked will never be erased in history’s timeline. The dead will never have the chance to speak out; yet, those who go on existing will keep on moving forward with the past and its forerunners as their ideals and inspirations.

Pigeons flying everywhere, Gorgeous. Then, I closed my eyes while I flew with them to the realm where we both belong. Our teachers in faith maybe different and our ways of expressions are different, I still believe that there’s the same God who look after us whether we’re awake and asleep. It’s never a question of which religion is which for it is a matter of who we are to ourselves, to others and to the Almighty. We can be who we are but we can never forever hide in deceptions and lies. Justice is always served and the truth will always prevail.

Old school me… well, I am writing again similar to how I used to do it on those days. Sounding like an old grandma reincarnated to spread karma for everyone. All I want to say that I had joy, I had fun… like the season in the sun. Nothing really beats the era of black and white, betamax, ponograph record player and more… time has changed but I am joyful indeed….

Fake-a-Boo Has Touched Down, Gorgeous!

My blood did boil yesterday, Gorgeous… Thanks for allowing me to do my good deeds and it helped me cool down. Anyway can hate me but don’t involve my angels or the job I love and enjoy doing.

But today my fake-a-boo had travel this far… Wait, a minute– what an exhausting day!!! However, I left with a smile—share the love. And you’re heartily welcome❤️😘

When I was above the clouds, I felt dancing with the cherubs and very closed to God. I am all by myself but I am braver. God is indeed in control!

It rained when I went out from the cab. I am willing to let go. So what if I am a foreigner? Everywhere there’s a place for a dreamer who are willing to share God’s gifts and blessings!!!

I’ll surely miss you, Gorgeous! I wanted to take good photos. Yet, I trusted my insrincts. Don’t give witches reasons to cast their disappearing spell. I will be out soon… No need to find fault and be nasty!