Worst, Gorgeous

You always told me that I could make it happen. You believed in me even I lost faith in my skills. You thought I’m unaware but you supported me and actions did speak louder than words. Wasn’t it hilarious for you knew I did the same? Fast forward to today, my skills are rusty and unappreciated. Perhaps, what I love doing is all in my head now. I am not really that good those who learned from YouTube are way better than me. I don’t want to lose my magic touch. Am I losing it?

My worst work again… forward to the junk again!!! Delete AGAIN!!! I’m tone deaf and don’t have good taste in music. No one likes what I’m doing…

My Crippled Silence, Gorgeous

As the saying goes, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” for it is somehow perceives that a person who is old or is used to doing things in a certain way cannot learn or does not want to learn a new way. Personally, I am fully aware that I am among the quadragenarians. Despite of that, my high heels can still bring me beyond the stars and the rainbow for it’s still a very lengthy way to my prime.

Excuse me, I’m not that old! As a matter of fact, in Singapore, being in 40s is considered as still young. But it’s a different story to some of the Filipinos’ mindsets in the Philippines. Feel free to count my age. But contrary to its higher number, I never stopped learning. That’s NO CAP, Gorgeous! After surgery, I relearned and reviewed by signing up courses online, reading eBooks with my iPad and getting acquainted with the trends not only in fashion but also with technology. Despite being in chemo, the desire of learning and my optimism in stepping up my game never halts as I continue fighting for my health. After all, life begins at forty!

Undeniably, I did some entertainment on the side for I binge-watched RuPaul’s Drag Race, few anime shows including my all-time favorite “One Piece’, and a lot of Netflix shows to mention. Well, I was hooked with the Korean series “The Glory” that I stayed up till 4 am just to complete the series in a single shot. Of course, I am in YouTube and TikTok in between. With all of that, God is always the top priority. There’s no skipping of prayer time and checking in with Jesus and Mother Mary. Most of the time, I pray for Saint Archangel Michael’s protection and also to Padre Pio’s intercession for healing and steadfastness.

Moreover, I’m always out of the picture ever since I am diagnosed with cancer. It’s not easy to be in chemotherapy treatment because there are so many restrictions and one of many is to keep away from the sunlight. Hence, I can’t join family outings particularly going to the beach considering the temperature outdoors will sometimes reach beyond 38 degree celsius. In other words, summer heatwaves isn’t mine to to take advantage because it can be deadly. Oh, how much I missed the beach! Always being left out feels unavoidably lonesome but I should not let my darkness get into my nerves because it’s more deadly considering I have cancer. Every time we dine out, I am not chewing up to savor the food for I am left with a quarter of my colon, so I can quickly pass motion. Not complaining Lord because my surgeon even considered taking out my entire colon and the consequence is that I won’t be able to control my bowel movements. Imagine that, I can’t. Then, the disappointing part of this is that with all the family plans, I am unintentionally never counted. Don’t get me wrong if it really feels awful, Gorgeous. It’s hard to be just phlegmatic with the situation and let it pass. I am sincerely more than grateful to God for blessing me with my wonderful family members because when I was fighting for my life, they gave it all and never left my side. Particularly thanks a million to my mama and sister’s efforts and prayers, I may asked a lot but actually no explanations needed. Of course, I am forever thankful for their care, consideration, love, generosity and kindness. Nonetheless, my forced quietness questions my purpose and relevance in keep on going.

Since I am not fit to work, I stayed at home for the longest time and it bored me to the max. Come on, it’s so hot in here! My youngest brother advised me to consider working as a video editor online via my cousin. He checked out with my cousin and he said that it might be challenging for me because video editing isn’t using MS PowerPoint. What??? Can I elaborate my resume? My CV is authentic and not only for the sake of impressing employers. Every descriptive words, certifications and skills were the fruit of my sweats, tears and all nighters. I didn’t just learn from YouTube and Google Academies. I earned certificates from prestigious trainers and institutions in Singapore. I worked with the most difficult people that many millennials won’t dare to cross path. Seriously??? When I was employed in Singapore, I am the specialist and expert of the field, and many of my colleagues bowed down to my expertise and clapped for all my contributions. Too bad, I don’t have the citizenship and God has His plans for me. So, I’m no hero but back to ZERO. Is my legacy flushed to the toilet? No way, can’t be! I REBUKED & REFUSED!!!

Speaking of toilets… According to a YouTuber, Samurai Matcha that one of Japanese habits that will make your life so much better is cleaning the toilet. Sounds gross! I do clean my toilet even a week after every chemo treatment. No one will do it for me so I take action to get dirty. The vlogger, Samurai Matcha even added that cleaning the toilet in Japan is a great habit that makes your life successful, bring good luck and humbling yourself. He added that the founder of Yellow Hat, Shuzaburo Kagiyama is one of Japan’s leading toilet cleaners and continued cleaning the company’s toilet for 53 years. Well with that being said, I’m glad that I never failed cleaning the toilet twice a week. After all, it’s not too late for me to become successful and age will never ever hinder me. I also firmly believe that luck never left me because Jesus always got my back. Above all, with this simple habit, I am reminded to humble down every time I have the urge to elaborate my experiences, qualifications and what I used to be. Elsa sang in Frozen “… the past is in the past, so let it go…” Ok fine. But my cup of tea and God’s gifts shouldn’t diminish with letting go.

The beef between the Jalosjos and TVJ was put in the spotlight after Dapitan’s mayor Bullet Jalosjos’ interview with Boy Abunda’s Fast Talk, which the former Senate President Tito Sotto responded in a series of press releases. Tito Sotto even mentioned in his interview with Cristy Fermin’s YouTube channel Showbiz Now Na that his brother, Vic Sotto has not received any salary from the show Eat Bulaga as one of the primary hosts for a long time. Likewise, Vic is still visible in the show despite of age and not profiting because he loves what he is doing. I can relate to Vic for living life to the fullest and furthest is be present and excel in what you enjoy doing, and maximizing your potentials. Similarly, I am deeply in love with the craft of my choice. I can even visualize myself aging like a fine wine in this profession like Vic Sotto who remained in Eat Bulaga for more than forty years. To all the people, who extends to me their kindness and understanding to keep my position, I can’t thank you enough. My career is my motivational drive to win my battle against cancer. Hence, please don’t take it away from me. Even if I am not fully compensated, I am still willing to extend a hand beyond my job descriptions because it makes me energetic to go on living.

There’s no cure for cancer but I can’t be overthrown by this vicissitude situation. My attending physician explained to me that there are many studies conducted proving that cancer can be overcome with precautions, healthy lifestyle and monitoring. So, it’s not yet the end of the line for anyone who has it including me. I am always ever ready to excel and do swiftly what I have been doing for more than a decade. It’s a matter of style and creativity, not always with technicality. I shed some tears while I peed, another episode of my toilet drama. It felt that my cancer crippled me when it shouldn’t be. I chose to be quiet because if I would speak, my ego would surely soar high at its peak. In my silence, I told myself to be humble and obedient. Humility is everything and words should not ruin relationships. Besides, I recall not my pride but gratitude and kindness. I know me, my words once ruined many and shattered me as well.

Images edited with Peachy and PicsArt apps.

Does Papa Forget Me, Gorgeous?

It’s already summer and it’s so hot that my room temperature feels like sauna. Get me out from the heat!!! Not me, I’m still in my second chemo session and on Monday will be the third one. I’d rather be home because I quickly pass a motion. I’m not certain how clean the toilets of some venues and the oncologist reminded me not to stay under the heat for a long period of time.

I don’t want to be such a KJ ( kill joy) and ruin everyone’s weekend. So, I gave them a go signal to attend the beach party of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Indeed, it was my decision to be left alone.

Talking about wolves, it’s not about forgiveness but justice. Besides, justice along with prudence, fortitude and temperance are cardinal virtues. Having a celebration doesn’t erase one’s fault. Hey, you’re ok now so let’s be like what we used to be! Excuse me, how about giving back what’s due, be remorseful and taking some accountability? Sometimes being too forgiving doesn’t help others realize their errors nor change their ill behaviors. Undeniably no one will ever get me for they never walk on my shoes. Remember that Jesus forgave Judas but justice was served even in the Scriptures. Judas did pay, Gorgeous. Gotta pay your dues!!!

Alright everyone’s enjoying the beach while I’m stuck at home. I was initially productive with the chores. Afterwards, I entertained myself with my gadgets and apps. I only had tuna for both breakfast and lunch. Hours passed by, it has been a long wait. What time is it? I’m getting hungry. Then, being alone for a long time having a terminal illness felt like eternity. Then, I caged myself inside my loneliness and feeling forgotten. If Papa is here, no way he would put me in such situation. Perhaps, the one I lost is the one who really cared & loved me the most. Does Papa still keep our memories? Does Papa forget me, Gorgeous?

No one will get me. After all, they are not the ones with Stage 3 Colon Cancer. Honestly, death doesn’t fear me because it means being with Almighty Father and be home with Papa. Yet, I am given a chance to go on with my mission. It will be disobedience to God to throw away my existence and surrender the battle of survival.

Even my mouth is mum, I have some internal pains particularly now that my third chemo schedule is postponed for a long interval. I tried my best to be lively and not be frustrated with the situation even if it’s truly depressing inside. Moreover, my prayers and hopes for the future strengthen my will to survive.

Of course, I love the sight of sunset in the beach, wander the lengthy seashore and feel the sand under my feet. How I miss dipping in the ocean waters for hours and pretending to swim the blue sea? Nonetheless, not now Gorgeous.

I hope that the process of physical healing won’t be lonesome. If Papa is here, he would rather be with me than be in other places especially not with that wolf. Papa always reminded me but I was so naive and so schemingly became the prey. Justice should be served to me as well.

Gorgeous Escape Not, Magic Can Happen!!!

After my evening prayers, I’ll close my eyes to escape from my fears and pains. Wanna runaway with me from the harsh reality and dive into slumberland, Gorgeous?

Moreover, in my waking hours, there’s no escape for I must face my battles with full trust in God. Then, I should compose my train of thoughts accordingly for I can make my magic happen. You just wait and see, Gorgeous.

Look, my hands can still do some artistic tricks! Not for sale… my older brother suggested that I should monetize my artworks to raise funds for my chemotherapy treatments. Well, it’s really difficult for me to imagine seeing my artworks on other’s walls because I always thought that I’m my only avid fan.

Who knows that magic can happen, too! To God be the glory, Gorgeous!!!🙏🏻😇

Gorgeous, There’s Nowhere to HIDE 🙈 🫣

Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I’m not the first to know
There’s just no getting over you

I know I’m just a fool who’s willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby, can’t you see there’s nothing else for me to do?
I’m hopelessly devoted to you

But now there’s nowhere to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I’m out of my head
Hopelessly devoted to you

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: John Farrar
Hopelessly Devoted To You lyrics © Unichappell Music Inc., Sony/atv Melody, John Farrar Music, Ensign Music Corporation
By Olivia Newton-John – “Hopelessly Devoted to You” ost Grease (one of my favourite musical, thanks RuPaul for reminding me)
RuPaul Drag’s Race Season 11, ‘Trump: The Rusical” (Grease musical movie reference)

Believe that it’s possible, Gorgeous 😇🙏🏻❤️

Sunday is the day of rest

To be with God & listen to His words

Finding joy in togetherness

Sharing moments that will pass

Tomorrow won’t be the same

But nothing is impossible

Live each day, my dearest

Believe that it’s possible, Gorgeous!

Artworks by my nephews & niece… Chilling while viewing the latest animated movie streaming in Netflix entitled, ‘The Magician’s Elephant”.

It’s Salon Day, Gorgeous!

Hey, Gorgeous! Miss me? Indeed, it’s been awhile since I last posted. My illness really got the best of me for the past few months. Moreover, I won’t drown into the pit of my loneliness eternally. I should courageously get up for life must go on with faith. After all, I firmly believe Jesus lives within me. Well, I’ll tell you the whole narrative of my sickness some other time.

Anyway a big shoutout to my sister-in-law for inviting me and the rest of the family to the blessing of her beauty salon. May God grant her and all staff of Shat’s Beauty Studio abundance and plenty of blessings. They will definitely make a lot of their clients feel good about themselves.

Who says being ill is equivalent to ugliness? Hey, I deserve a little pampering of myself! Don’t you agree, Gorgeous? New hairstyle for me with my dog, ‘Luffy’.

So we should party, all night… Gorgeous!

I heard you’re feeling nothing’s going right
Why don’t you let me stop by?
The clock is ticking, running out of time
So we should party, all night
So cover your eyes, I have a surprise
I hope you got a healthy appetite
If you wanna dance, if you want it all
You know that I’m the girl that you should call
Boy, when you’re with me
I’ll give you a taste
Make it like your birthday everyday
I know you like it sweet
So you can have your cake
Give you something good to celebrate
So make a wish
I’ll make it like your birthday everyday
I’ll be your gift
Give you something good to celebrate

By Katy Perry “Birthday” lyrics

RIDICULOUS 🙄🤣 Me, Gorgeous ❤️

Time to bed!!! Wait… I recalled that it was stated in the news earlier today about Leonid meteor shower (snap this moment, Gorgeous) starting on the eve of Wednesday until around before dawn on Thursday today. It was raining last night and so the sky was covered with clouds. How long should I wait to see the streaks of light above the heavens? How long should I wait for something special to happen?

A lot of people can’t wait for even a minute, claiming every seconds mean a lot. True. But, what’s the rush? Elvis Presley in his song said “only fools rush in”. Nowadays, in fast growing digital world everyone wants to keep up with the evolution of computers. Hence, the essence of waiting is a myth or it sounds ridiculous. Wait for what? Juan, the mango fruit won’t fall in your mouth. What are you waiting for? You have to stand and use your hands to pick it up! Ridiculous!!! Just like me!!!

None of the days behind us were wasted because those were the times I unleashed my monsters and thanks to you I finally freed them. I was never that mad nor that pathetic over someone or something. I never had my peace until now despite losing what I could have. I couldn’t bring food on the table but I am able to cook the herbs from our garden. The irony is in nothing I put on a lot of weight. I don’t have to care about my looks nor my clothes anymore. I never polished my nails for almost a year and I am fine with that. No one is bothered with my oily face and messy hair. A lot of people formulated presumptions before that I only cared about my appearance and spent a lot on clothing. Little did they know that I only procured what I could afford and it was my expression of self love. Am I happier now? Well, I was never lonely to begin with, I was always happy then and my smile still glows until now and even in the future. Perhaps, idling distant me from my Creator. I’m too comfortable with nothing… I’m spending more time on sleeping, so I can’t cry like a river anymore same as I used to… the sensitive old hag! No responsibilities, no worries… That’s it?

Ridiculous me, right? Well, this pandemic hindered me from taking same route again. Decisions are made sealed with signatures. No more sightings of you, Gorgeous ❤️ Rejoice, you have everything on your grasp! The queue is narrowing down to me as the only one. LOL!!! You will never know how it really feels and what it’s like… I’m glad that I wept in advance for I have no more tears to shed. Look at you, Gorgeous ❤️ Your path is too perfect while mine is the one less taken. I won’t possess the expensive gadgets and branded stuff anymore. I can’t even afford to travel the world nor get you some presents. Bear in mind, while you are surrounded with what pleases you, I am always here thousand miles away from you.

This sounds really ridiculous: the continuity of our existence isn’t written in the stars anymore but there’s after life. Certainly, I can wait forever till eternity.

Behold my herbal chicken broth!!! Wanna try, Gorgeous??? It was one tough day!!! Congrats to me!!! Thank God even if it isn’t Friday!

Stranger Danger,😱🤯 Gorgeous ❤️

Today, I learned to be vigilant and never underestimate a woman’s instincts.

For the first time, I dared to travel all by myself taking public transport. There was something off with that cab, I rode on this morning. There was already a passenger and the driver claimed that it was his wife and he was dropping her nearby. Despite, my hesitations, I went on with the ride. After the lady was dropped off, the cab driver exclaimed that it was her mistress and the lady is still married with five children. Seriously?? What the… Then, he asked important info about me which I was unwilling to give. The way he carried the conversation made me feel uncomfortable. Such subject matter always scared me and made me feel uneasy even with men I used to know. So, do you expect me to entertain a stranger?

Next, I felt like catching my breath because he higher the aircon’s temperature. The heavy traffic made the journey longer. In my mind, if I would stay five minutes longer I would probably be unconscious or suffocate. I secretly opened the window and informed that I wouldn’t go to the location as I agreed. So, I immediately went off the car. What a dishonest man! His meter was running fast than usual… Can you trust such man?

When I reached home, I relayed to my family, the uneasiness that I felt during my cab ride. My sister warned me that many taxi drivers aren’t trustworthy and victimizes their passengers. Well, I must be gone for so long to be unaware of such crimes. Perhaps, I overreacted. However, it was better to take actions rather be sorry later.

Thank you Lord for always protecting me. Keep safe, Gorgeous ❤️ See U🥰🤩😍

Back to ZERO! It’s all for love, Gorgeous

What a dress! My sister is selling pre-loved clothes… My mom suggested that I should try on the floral dress. I adamantly refused for it wasn’t my type. I couldn’t wear such daring spaghetti straps and backless specially I am gaining a lot of weight. Come on, there was no harm on trying. Honestly, I had to saw back one of the traps because I didn’t know it was worn.

I showed my mother the photo of me wearing the dress. My mom said that she was right that I looked good. By the time, o was talking to my mom. My siblings were alarmed because her mouth was twitching and her left eye kept on blinking. My sister called her doctor and so we rushed her to the hospital this morning.

HELP ME, GORGEOUS!!! If only you can listen, SOS!!! Well, we needed to pay the bills and I had to give all my savings. Back to zero but I did again all for love. If I did for Papa, without any second thoughts, I more than willing to give for mama. I have no source of income now but I will make it… Well, me and my siblings didn’t want our Mama to worry. We gave our share to pay the bills. Hopefully, everything will be fine with God’s grace, Gorgeous ❤️

Dancing in the Dark, Gorgeous ❤️

“Perfect” by Camila Cabello and Nicholas Galitzine “Cinderella” (2021) ost movie

This one song that keeps ringing in my head and I used to play it over and over in the past… Remember? It never grew old and when the tune used to play, your presence was felt. Now, I only wished not going out from my dreams where I can dance with you with that lovely and romantic tune in the background.

Oh, boy! I’m glad wasting all my chances and all my desires got stuck in my head because I have nothing to be proud of… All I worked hard for and the career I was too invested disappeared. My optimism perished in the height of the pandemic… It seems that I don’t have any chance to redeem myself.

Perhaps, it’s so impossible to behold your dazzling eyes and hear your manly voice once more. I’m glad to install every inch of you in my mind, heart and soul because even I am dancing in the dark I still have you with my eyes closed, Gorgeous ❤️

Failures will never take away everything about you, Gorgeous ❤️🙏

“Somebody to Love” by Nicholas Galitzine “Cinderella” (2021) ost movie

Let there be LIGHT, Gorgeous ❤️🙏✝️

Our journey in this world is temporary for we are all permanent residents in heaven. 

What a disbelief! It has been over a week since my beloved Aunt Mary departed for she’ll be joining all the angels, saints and my Papa in Parousia. My family, relatives and friends mourned for our loss for she’s no longer with us. However, in our hearts we know that she’ll be perpetually resting in God’s place.

Well, I grew up with my Aunt Mary around. She was our neighbor before I was borne and until the point of her departure on earth. I had many memories with her growing up. I used to hangout in her house with my cousins. Most of all, she never missed family outings and celebrations. She was very beautiful with a bit resemblance of the local actress, Jackie Lou Blanco. She was very hardworking, stylish (sort of fashionista like me), cool and never got angry at me. Above all, I witnessed her as a loving, responsible, committed and dedicated mother and wife.

My last bonding with her was hanging out at the beach after my niece’s 18th birthday last May this year. Funny thing, it was unplanned. Out of the blue, I just blurted that she slept over in our place for we would go the beach the next day together with my cousin’s wife and her two children as well as my brother and my nephew. We didn’t bring any food except for rice. Luckily, we were able to enjoy the fresh seafood sold by the fishermen at the beach. We enjoyed each other’s company, the magnificent gift of Mother Nature and the simplicity of life despite the desperations in the midst of the financial crisis brought by the pandemic.

When I saw her again few months ago, I invited her to hangout again. My cousin’s wife said that she was excited about it. Then, while she was in the hospital, my mom had a video call with her and mentioned that we would go to beach if everything went well. Due to COVID restrictions, we couldn’t pay her a visit in the hospital.

Suddenly, the heartbreaking news reached us last last Friday after we went to Basilica del Santo Nino with my siblings, nephew and mom. Sadly, there will be no more hanging out with my Aunt Mary anymore for her thyroid cancer weakened her body. Hence, she had to go and bid adieu to all of us. Although she is gone, the memories forever linger and I am truly grateful to be given the chance to share lots of precious moments and some earthly things I had with her.

Adieu, Aunt Mary! Perhaps, it was a mournful day this afternoon, sending her remains to her resting place but our love for her will stay in our hearts forevermore. We might not the hug, expressive or dramatic family for we are the chill and cool type, still we know in our hearts that we love, care and look after each other despite our imperfections.

My prayers are for my Aunt Mary, my uncle, cousins, nieces and nephews. As the priest said her second name ‘Luz’ means ‘light’ and her light will shine in heaven. Then, together with my Papa and the rest of our departed loveones, her light will shine upon all of us who cherished her very much.

Thank you very much for the good old days and all the memories. My deepest apologies for my shortcomings.

Eternal and peaceful rest is yours, my beloved Aunt Mary🙏✝️❤️

God is with Us, Gorgeous ❤️🙏

My phone is spoil until now, it stopped working on the day of my birthday this year. Jinx! It actually didn’t bother me because I rarely used it nor I am fond of taking selfies. It was my sister who was upset because she used it to capture photos and videos. Applying my technical knowledge, I tried fixing it and I even bought a software online. Sadly, nothing worked. I attempted of sending it for repair but those technicians didn’t know the core issue and the price of the repair skyrocketed from one person to another. Now, I’m running out of cash due to circumstances; hence, my poor phone untouched for a long time. So, I stopped hoping and writing. After all, what I don’t know won’t hurt me, Gorgeous ❤️. Be happy with your life and don’t be on my shoes for you won’t be able to deal with it!

I have special gifts and a lot of potentials but opportunities are elusive. Undeniably, I questioned my abilities and each day I lost my sense of purpose. Some people I used to know were very quick to laugh and judge at others’ downfall… They should have witnessed how I dealt with these ordeals… If they will, their amusement certainly will ascend to greater heights. Congratulations, you got it right! Happy for my misfortunes?

Here, I am losing the face in confronting the world again. I don’t have the courage to even meet and reconnect the many friends I had. All of them occupy a space in my heart but most of the space is yours, Gorgeous next to my father. Aside from that, I cherished all the memories for I was being myself in those moments. Probably, my isolation gives a lot of my friends the impression that I changed. Yes, I do but only physically since I gained a lot of weight. Personally, I am still who I am… the one who is always true and slightly clueless but only very scared…. In my heart, I truly wish to see everyone or hear from them particularly you, Gorgeous. Then, what? I’ll lie or pretend and sugarcoat my life. Well, that won’t work with me for I’m such a bad actress…

Hands up! I’m tired chasing money and worrying how can I manage my bills when I don’t have the source of living anymore. What food can I bring to the table when I am not earning? Is it the issue of my roots? Didn’t God create us all equal? No one is above the other!!! I was almost at the peak of my goal… Then, the harsh wind of fate blown me back to zero.

I honestly abandoned all hopes this week… All I did was pulling an all nighter for nothing and spending my time unproductively like sleeping. Moreover, in all fairness to me, I still tried to keep my sanity and continued with my volunteer work as a Catechist. After our session today, my friend told me that a parent sent her a message. I panicked thinking that I might unknowingly brought my melancholy to one of the sessions since at times I can be oblivious.

I don’t know what I said or done to influence the boy in such manner. Should I question and doubt my gifts and skills? Thank you very much Emmanuel for reminding me with my own words. I have goosebumps after finding out that your name means “God is with US”. You truly live up to your name.

Indeed, God 🙏 is with us, Gorgeous ❤️ You’re surely all the way on the top and far from my reach now. Obviously, you are putting your plans into actions while I am closing my eyes to say my prayers for you. May the Spirit of God illuminates your mind and heart. See you not in Parousia…

Welcome to the Garden of Eden, Gorgeous ❤️ I am honoured to accompany you! See you soon!

Gorgeous, a million thanks to you 🥳🥰

Even if I am standing at the edge of the world, I have all the reasons to be grateful. My apologies for being invisible and distant to everyone I cherished as my comrades, allies and friends. I never changed nor depressed, I only needed to face the sudden change of music on my own. Well, I may not have a penny in my pocket… it’s all right for I have a joyful heart filled with ❤️ I can’t thank you more, Gorgeous. Even it’s all in my head, it made my day…

🤟 Gorgeous xoxo 💋

See you & miss u2

May God bless and shield you from the claws of the devil!!!

A joyful day to both of us😘💋😊👌

On this 9th and a month after, Gorgeous!

Is it too late to greet, “Happy New Year!” Are we really happy? Nope, but we have all the reasons to rejoice despite the circumstances. A month after today, my number will increase… do you recall? You do and did even if you tried not to… I get you as always say to all my angels… speaking, what an awful today! Nonetheless, I am still grateful to have a good rest. I couldn’t sleep yesterday. I guess that I only rested for more or less two hours. But thanks to this unfortunate event, I finally had the Saturday for myself…. just doing nothing as always and expected.

Gorgeous, tragedies happen to all of us whether you are good or bad. It doesn’t matter as long as you can have a good laugh and find a purpose to a seemingly meaningless journey on earth. We are sometimes lost in heathen but with God’s grace there’s heaven.

Another worst day— wait? It’s a day I am free…. I lost a lot from the merciless and unjust rules… On top of that, I am missing my midnight angels. indeed, that’s how my story goes similar to the Baudelaires perhaps…always another Count Olaf hindering my passageways. Speaking of Count Olaf, I grieved for his death. He’s on villain that I wanted not to go…

Well it’s great to have a good rest after all… All by myself!

A Series of Unfortunate Events Ending Song ‘That’s Not How the Story Goes’
See the source image

Miss yah, Gorgeous. ILYVM as always. See you and Good night! God bless…

See the source image

Destined to be an Angel, Gorgeous

This is supposed to be my baby Jesus but it looks like a toddler than an infant. So, I quickly made a baby Jesus that’s simpler. I already cut it out and it will be an effort wasted if I’ll throw it away. Hence, I made some adjustments…. Behold! I have an angel! My DIY nativity almost complete…

Angels are real and they exist. They’ll bring us together once more, Gorgeous. Our paths our soon clear… after all, we are destined to be angels like everyone before us. Don’t worry with what you missed… we have an eternity to live by… 🤟😘

Good night, Gorgeous! Merry Christmas! See u, God bless. Nothing has changed

Forever and a Day, Gorgeous ❤️😇

A house isn’t a home without a sole soul dwelling. It’s no longer just a barn but a sacred place for the holy family. Honestly, it took me a lot of time to complete. But this is half way—

A feather is where the angel is… I hope you found one too. Sweet dreams, Gorgeous. Have a nic day!!! 🤟 ILY 😘 & IMY… See you again and again!!!

Almost Christmas, Gorgeous

I’m not yet done with my DIY nativity. It’s been awhile since I’ve done this. Well, gotta finish it fast coz it’s almost Christmas. What present should I give you, Gorgeous??? You’ll never hear “Feliz Navidad” my version.

Good nyt & God bless dearest! Gorgeous, ILY 🤟 always! See yah🥰😘 again and again

Letting my hair grow to its natural colour. Since secondary school, I already coloured my hair. Never thought, I’ll return how I used to be with black plain hair on simple clothing walking barefoot each day (plus the oily face). It’s good to be back— Absolutely delighted, my Gorgeous! Simplicity is true beauty indeed!

I wish, I wish… Gorgeous!

There’s no use of cutting off Father Time, tick-tock the clock goes and I am here stuck in nowhere. Certainly, I never envisioned nor outline my life this way where I am back at the bottom. Not so long time ago, I fed my head with all the goals that I intended to achieve. Eventually the spirits of Jezebel and the witches of Camelot wrecked the castle floating on the clouds of my dreams. Come on, I put up a good fight only to be the one spurned and left to rot in the darkness. Was it my error to be unfazed by those little devils or am I cursed with my father’s blood?

This fiasco undeniably blinded me with my sense of purpose. As this old earth pirouettes, I will be dismissed in the minds of the little souls I moved and even the hearts of those friends I cherished. Perhaps, I am more than fortunate to find so many good friends and wonderful people in my lifetime. Honestly, I love and treasure all the memories I spent with each of them. Even if I am nowhere to be found and invisible in all social media platforms, those people I was with will always occupy special spaces in my heart. They’re the best and brilliant, and I just don’t belong anymore. Besides, how can I rise from the mud of nothingness? It turned that I don’t become the person whom I always wanted.

I wish, I wish… Gorgeous. I only have one wish… same wish I pray since I was little teenage girl while looking at the blue moon on the cloudless sky. Gorgeous, I wish, I wish… I hope the Star of David in Bethlehem hears me one last time…

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling

Do you feel my heart beating

Do you understand?

By The Bangles “Eternal Flame”

Gud nyt, Gorgeous! Have a blessed evening. ILY & IMY. C U again & again…

I’m Enduring, Gorgeous

All my life I waited patiently and my faith never ceased through this year. I am told to be very old but isn’t age just about numbers. This year is the worst time of my life. Nonetheless, I realized that it is the first time of my life when I feel relax and enjoying my sleep. It’s not only the Heavenly voices that I heard in my dreams but yours too and those love ones departed. I am no longer worrying or dreaming about work… Thinking of what to wear and what to do… I used to usually sleep with my work in my thoughts. Now, you are the first and last in my thoughts. Believe it or not! All we have to do is believe that we can do it! My talents wasted? I lift up everything to God. There’s always a time for everything. I trust in God’s time and plans for me.

Here Comes Santa Claus

Merry Christmas, Gorgeous!

I endured all these time, my dearest!

Remember that I always deeply care.

Good night and God bless!

See you again!

Don’t be lonely, Gorgeous!

You seems to have it all my dear but it’s like you’re dwelling in the house of glass. Gorgeous, it isn’t true that no one cares and everyone around is made of plastic. Gorgeous, I hope you silent your mind and heart to allow the Spirit of the Lord speak in your dreams.

My job was my life that my whole being was in turbulence. I was self-indulgent, no different from you. My dreams then were passing and no relevance at all. Likewise, I am more at peace now because I can sleep soundly daily. Above all, I am eating healthily that I am not caring the pounds I gained. (Wait, I should work it out!) Gorgeous, I am not wearing my heels and no fancy clothes daily. My dearest, material things give temporary pleasures. Why? Dig deeper on the theory of wear and tear…

Don’t be lonely, Gorgeous! Stop looking forward for popularity and praises! Be home within yourself and find me in the midst of the core…

By Justin Bieber – ft. Benny Blanco “Lonely”
8 December is the Feast Day of the Immaculate Conception and you are included in my prayers!


God bless you. May the Blessed Mother protect you too.

Sleep tight, Gorgeous! Sweet dreams.

See you again xoxo

Gorgeous, let’s bid goodbye to a dearest Angel

Last week, my nephew asked over the phone “what happened to Kira?”

I uttered “She’s an angel now!” And my sister sadly repeated my words.

Gorgeous just a week ago, our family faced a sad news about the unexpected and tragic passing of our bubbly, chatty and energetic little darling Kira. She was my very lively niece and she had the prettiest face. Aside from that, she had long beautiful, dark and full lashes similar to a doll. But, she had a short-lived existence. Our dearest angel departed at the tender age of six.

Today is the feast of Saint Barbara and the funeral of our beloved Kira. I looked at her sadly sleeping lifeless in a wooden box. I couldn’t help admire how she looked similar to a doll. She is always be our little darling. Rest peacefully, my dearest!

Goodbye Kira, you’re an angel now. I believe that you are with Saint Barbara together with Papa and grandma too. Your sudden departure is a dagger buried in our hearts particularly to your parents and grandparents. Our melancholy will not leave soon. Nonetheless, the thought that you will be in Celestial City together with our Almighty Father brings joy and warmth in our hearts. Wait for us in the Gate of Heaven, our little angel. Watch over us and lead us the way to the road of the King of kings.

Dearest Jesus, Kira’s with you. Saint Barbara her innocence and purity is preserved similar to you… and in the clouds she’ll be dancing and singing with you worshipping the Heavenly Father.

Gorgeous, life is indeed short. Our mission still continues, so let’s live meaningfully. God bless, Gorgeous! Good night! Keep safe.

ILY & IMY. God hears our prayers and He answers. See you again.

See you, Gorgeous!

I thank the Heavens for everything especially for creating your existence. Perhaps, it’s lonely to be in your absence but I am never alone for I am always loved. Thanks for the angels I meet everyday and the blessings received each day. Thank you, Gorgeous for not departing my thoughts. You’re always the most gorgeous and special of them all.

Good night, Gorgeous!

Always know that you are forever cherished and loved.

God bless you each day.

Sweet dreams and see you again.

How to melt this loneliness, Gorgeous?

Dong Mian 冬眠 Lyrics 歌詞 With Pinyin By Si Nan 司南 (https://www.echinesesong.com)

Dear Lord,

I am thankful for the angels who adored and trusted me. Help me work on my skills so that I can do better. The presence of these assorted cherubim bring the glimmering lights in my darkness. Forgive for wanting more and I’m sorry for missing how I used to be. Please don’t take me incorrectly that I am not contented because every time an angel drop by, I always give my smiles, cheerfulness and my best. My Lord, I can’t thank you more.


Nevertheless, the longings always awaken me in the middle of the night. In the depths of my heart, I wish sincerely if only I can be there. Gorgeous, how to melt this loneliness? My life is what I asked for, simple and hassle-free. Yet, the products of my sleep tell me otherwise. Why can’t I get rid of you when our ways of living are not the same. Gorgeous, the limelight and treasure are yours of which I have none. You are in the pedestal with your sleepless nights while I am in a simple hut hibernating and sleeping more than eight hours. Gorgeous, if only you can find my lighthouse in yours…

xiàng kǒu dēng guāng hū míng hū miè 
巷    口  灯   光    忽 明   忽 灭  
The light at the end of the lane flashed on and off
shǒu zhōng tián kā fēi yǐ lěng què 
手   中    甜   咖 啡  已 冷   却  
The sweet coffee in my hands is cold
zuí jiǎo bù jīng yì xiè lòu xiǎng niàn 
嘴  角   不 经   意 泄  露  想    念
The corner of the mouth is silent
zài fā dāi de chuāng qián níng jié 
在  发 呆  的 窗     前   凝   结

在  没  有  你 的 世  界  

In a world without you


Gorgeous, I won’t get tired even until eternal days.

I L Y & I M Y…

Good night & God bless! See you all over again!

I’m always here, Gorgeous

Betrayal, misunderstandings, cold treatment and stone hearts… Nuclear bombs thrown at one another. No one surrenders… it just began….

Is it all you want, Gorgeous???

Gorgeous, I’m always here and don’t wait for after life to find your peace.

I am always loving you and hopefully won’t be missing you for long… Forgive for just writing —- See u Gorgeous!

Good night. Sweetest dream! May God grant you peace in your heart, mind and soul!

ILY 🤟 4ever


Gorgeous, learn from thy father 😇👍

My loving father always reprimanded me to be a woman of God, pray from the heart in all occasions. Constantly, he would remind me to be forgiving and be contented with all my blessings. In addition, he also taught me to spend what I had and earn only an honest centavo. Thanks to him also that I’m independent for Papa always said not to rely on others for survival but count only in my abilities instead. Funny thing about Papa was he rejoiced every time I took courage to get out from my shell. My Papa with no doubt was indeed my most avid fan! Above all, my looks never mattered to him because he always said ‘my uprightness and benevolence are my crowning glory’.

Correspondingly, raising me wasn’t that uncomplicated. There were several times when I gave my father the hardest days of his existence (something I am never proud of but it’s true). I was not as obedient and diligent as my siblings were for I was a carefree spirit and my radical mind wasn’t programmed similar as the rest of my kin. Aside from that, I despised the rules and I sometimes didn’t abide them. Praise God for my abilities of learning fast and my likeable qualities that even I missed many of my classes, I pulled everything out with reasonable grades (and sometimes higher than my expected marks). Probably, it was my good karma! Despite my indelicateness, Papa never castigated nor discredited me. Instead, I would hear him saying to never underestimate what I could do and where my talents would lead me.

As I progressed in this complex world and with my father’s unexpected departure, I was running in circles and the flame within died out. The castle I built in my dreams for my Papa was destroyed by the waves of reality. Hence, I was contented with my simple life and little earnings. No great ambitions nor big dreams. Likewise, the twist and turns of fate, brought me to places I never desired. With every step on the way, I am toughened by all the storms in my life plus all the ebbs and flows. Gorgeous, this roller coaster ride isn’t breezy at all! Hold on, my dearest Gorgeous! I have your back!!! Of course, I’ll catch you when you fall all the time!

I am not born with wealth nor I didn’t choose the land of my birth place. However, no matter how difficult are the circumstances and wherever I’ll be, I am always be who I am and there’s not a single speck of shame with that, Gorgeous. My father should have seen and known that he raised me well for his Godly ways and kind-heartedness influenced and moulded me into a beautiful person (despite my shortcomings).

We’ll find what we all deserve, Gorgeous!

The likes and views don’t make anyone beautiful! All the vanity and fame will perish with time. You know what you already knew and always known.

‘YES!’, the Lord answers.

Gorgeous, redo or undo?

Unfortunately, even if my muscles are so exhausted and my running nose is bothering me… There’s no stopping me from putting on the mask of my cheerfulness. Honestly, my head feels so heavy and I don’t even know what I am talking. I am not pretending to be bubbly but there are instances when I a lost in the space and out of track with what’s going on. Hence, the show must happen despite the warning of the jackal.

Chasing my grandma with all my might, only to be told that I have to return for wealth and someone are waiting for me. Thanks grandma, you are always the best! Gorgeous, the devil can pull me down for a numerous times that I have no purpose. Nonetheless, even if I have nothing, my sincere smiles bring joys to many. What’s the use of reading those messages of someone who caused my ordeals? Real? I responded because I have forgiven but I hope that person’s conscience will speak that those choices and decisions scarred me.

There’s no undoing of what is already done. My job can be taken from me that easily and money will perish quickly. Despite of the sorrows and darkness, no one can take my skills, goodness and faith. I don’t have to compare myself and get millions of likes to feel important. I am blessed in many ways. I hope that person knows what I have been through because those words sent are meaningless without knowing the extent of what I have been through… Happy? Define happiness to me. Don’t assume when you don’t know nothing… You may have a lot but hopefully the cash your earning will bring you access to heaven… After all, you can’t be buried with your treasures. Don’t pretend that you care when you absolutely know the depth of the wound you inflicted me. Thank God for removing me because there’s no heaven in your hell.

If there’s one thing, I want to redo Gorgeous is being who I am. In my nothingness, I returned to my old self. Bubbly and thrifty. I treasure every centavo and I always see the light at the end of tunnel. My grandma and the rest of them that I am not person who I was judged and presumed to be. I will not redo the bad things in the past. I never liked the drama. No money, no tears… but there’s just something missing…

Do you know it, Gorgeous?

The Purest of Hearts, Gorgeous!

As long as I breath, my affection will never perish and set forth to eternity. If my boldness isn’t worthwhile in this existence, beyond this realm I won’t let you go to the underworld. In your special day, I kneel down and pray for a blessed life with God in the midst.

For those who play it cool, everything seems easy. Yet, for one truthful and coward spirit like mine, I wanted to be over the day not doing anything. Nonetheless, my heart is possessed by you, it wouldn’t let me rest until I took the courage to send the message. I am so tense and feeling uneasy thinking what I did. Gorgeous, you certainly don’t have a clue how many prayers I had to recite and how many angels and saints I called to give me the heart of doing so.

I am fearless in many aspects of my life and for several instances I have proven to be a survivor. Nonetheless, my point of views don’t conform with the majority. Since my youth, I only wanted to be invisible and unknown. I could live with the rejections and being alone. Not even a single minute, I felt unworthy because I’m sure that I’m willing to do anything and everything to anyone. My fear isn’t holding me back. Perhaps, I am just a better writer rather than a temptress. There were so many presumptions about me. The truth, I keep sacred within me and the Almighty knows it’s true— the purest of them all!

Today, I took the courage to be thoughtful and forgiving. I hope that happiness is about living simply and doing less. Likewise, it pains me to do so little when I can do more. I can paint many images in my head for my comfort but it’s so sad to hold back when I have the power to make them come true.

Thank you, Lord for giving me the strength of the heart and wisdom in doing what I did. Thanks for not letting my conscience not rest until I did what I had to do. Whether it matter or not, You know too well that every word came from my purest heart.

4get U Not, Gorgeous! (How can I?)

Funny it is some names don’t matter anymore. Eight years ago that name was music to my ears and the only one mattered. Fast forward to 2020, even I had to say it each day. It’s just nothing but a name and person’s with the name vanished in my core. Likewise, you’re an exception, Gorgeous!

I am not that insane. This is an obsession. Excuse me, I am not the type who can easily be consumed with emotional needs nor I’m going to perish without a man in my side. With all truthfulness Gorgeous, I am quickly contented. No hassles and drama. Yet, there’s something missing….My heart is longing not the boys who used to matter but it’s you, Gorgeous.

How come you appear in the silence of the midnight? I wished to include the King Arthur and many more. Nonetheless, when the lights are off, it’s only you and no other man. Gorgeous, what powers do you possess to infect me with such illness? I am at the corner of the globe relishing in stillness and tranquility.

You might think that I’m just idling and wasting time. Well, you just don’t know a thing… Moreover, one thing is certain, I will never forget. How can I cease to reminisce your special day? I tried not to care but days before today… you totally have no idea, how I am constantly reminded indirectly—

By Katy Perry “Birthday”

Boy, when you’re with me
I’ll give you a taste
Make it like your birthday everyday
I know you like it sweet
So you can have your cake
Give you something good to celebrate

The Light in Our Hearts, Gorgeous

Disappointments don’t end for the day. Why live with them when I am worthy to many? I let God in control and everything turns out well.

The nerve!Whatever they do, even to many deities they’re bowing down whether they use their bodies—- God is God! Whom shall I fear? No one can take away what God has already given. Miracle happens!

Gorgeous, this darkness won’t last long. There’s a light in our hearts that will lead our way. Follow the guidance of Heaven! We are not lost. God is making us better people!!! We are blessed. Praise God!


Sweet dreams!

See u once more… let our light, guide us!

God bless🙏🏻😇

See u again and again…

Beware of Jezebel Spirit, Gorgeous!

The Spirit of Jezebel is lurking in every corners of the world! Queen Jezebel is long gone but her spirit lives in our time…

Jezebel was Phoenician woman turned queen and nothing about her is positive. She was a wicked queen and wife to the evil King Ahab, had a reputation for murder, iniquity, and sexual promiscuity. She not only served as a thorn in the side of the prophet Elijah, but she also led Israel astray in their foreign worship of idols (1 Kings 18).

Jezebel took the throne with King Ahab during a time of political uncertainty in Israel. She worshipped foreign idols and re-introduced them to Israel (1 Kings 18), she slaughtered the Lord’s prophets (1 Kings 18:4), wrongfully killed a man to take possession of his vineyard (1 Kings 21:1-22:53), threatened to kill the prophet Elijah (1 Kings 19), and murdered anyone who protested her introduction of Baal worship into the kingdom.

In short, she wasn’t a great role model.

What’s distinctive about a Jezebel spirit?

Without question, the nastiest, evil, most disgusting, cunning, and seductive spirit in Satan’s hierarchy has to be what many call the Jezebel spirit.

It seems to be differentiated from other spirits that are more appetite-driven since this one tends to exercise the most cunning and diplomacy. It’s diabolical in how it secretly tries to rip apart relationships and churches from the inside out.

Once again, many denominations appear to be split on the defining characteristics of this spirit, but it does seem to show traits of hatred, seduction, calculation, and manipulation, similar to Queen Jezebel herself.

Many believe that this type of spirit may be Satan’s smartest and most cunning and evil spirit he has, and he thus dispatches this kind of spirit on specific targets so he can get the most bang for his buck.

Simply put, a Jezebel spirit is one of Satan’s higher-ranking, more intelligent demons if not the smartest kind of demon he has in his kingdom.

How a Jezebel spirit works?

Source: https://www.christianity.com; https://www.bible-knowledge.com

Let’s take for instance, a servant of God who dedicated all his life in ministering God’s flock and evangelizing to many particularly those lost souls. Nevertheless, someone with Jezebel spirit outsmarted him by using her femininity and sexual prowess luring him to a dance of fire while feasting the satisfaction of the flesh. The ecstatic adventure turned to be that man’s undoing because the one who possessed with Jezebel spirit used it to blackmail and manipulate him. The aftermath was his downfall. God always forgives but the society won’t forget. Take heed, Gorgeous for not everyone is soft-hearted and pardoning.

Here are some of the evil personality traits to look for with a person who has been operating under this spirit’s evil influence for quite some time.

  1. Pure Evil and Hate
  2. Vile
  3. Maximum Pride
  4. Highly Lustful and Seductive
  5. Highly Self-Centered and Narcissistic
  6. Will Always Seek To Be the Center of Attention
  7. Very Judgmental, Critical, Condescending, and Demeaning
  8. Overly Demanding and Manipulating
  9. Cold, Ruthless, Cunning, and Calculating
  10. Very Combative and Confrontational
  11. Very Good at Lying and Cheating
  12. Cannot Stand Any Type of Constructive Criticism
  13. Hates All Prophets, Prayer, and Anything to Do With Spiritual Warfare
  14. Will Be Capable of Giving False Prophecies, Visions, and Dreams

Find out more: https://www.bible-knowledge.com/how-jezebel-spirit-will-operate/

Hence, in just a blink of an eye, a Jezebel spirit can strip you with all truly matters.

Don’t be a moth that is drawn to an open flame, Gorgeous! Be aware and beware! Don’t let a Jezebel spirit tear you into pieces. May the wisdom of God is yours…

Good night and sweet dreams, Gorgeous!

God bless you, Gorgeous!

By Sophia Angeles “Miss You More”

My present, Gorgeous

What can I give you when I don’t have anything?

What will I give you when you have everything?

What can I offer when I am drained out of cash?

What can I do when my feet are chained?

No more high heels and walking with no footwear

Yet, I have the best and most amazing present of them all!

My present can’t be bought anywhere in the globe

No pretty faces nor hot chicks can share and give the same

Don’t wait for your hair to turn gray to uncover the truth

I can’t give you luxury goods but it’s money can’t buy

Gorgeous, my gift is priceless and always yours… only for you

Will I wait in Heaven to give to you or now it’s the time?

Gud nyt, Gorgeous! Remember: ILY & IMY 2!

Sweet dreams! God bless!

See you… see you again and again. See you… see you again and again. See you… see you again and again.

Gorgeous, I ASSURE YOU!!!

Reading 1, Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20, 30-31

10 The truly capable woman — who can find her? She is far beyond the price of pearls.

11 Her husband’s heart has confidence in her, from her he will derive no little profit.

12 Advantage and not hurt she brings him all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax, she does her work with eager hands.

19 She sets her hands to the distaff, her fingers grasp the spindle.

20 She holds out her hands to the poor, she opens her arms to the needy.

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty empty; the woman who fears Yahweh is the one to praise.

31 Give her a share in what her hands have worked for, and let her works tell her praises at the city gates.

source: https://www.catholic.org

For now Gorgeous…

See you, Gorgeous!

The Tale of the Downtrodden, Gorgeous

I long for the moment
When I see you again
I long to touch and stroke your long black hair
How my heart longs to show you how much I care

I wait for the chance
To feel your hair so fine
Through this hand of mine
I long just to say
How I love you this way
Its you I adore

Until then
All I have is just a memory of you
That I can hold on to
Until then
All I have is just this luxury of time
To wait and think of you
Coz you’ll be on my mind
Until then

Source: “Until Then” lyrics by Side A, https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sidea/untilthen.html

By Side A “Until Then”

My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a trail that’s winding always upward,
This troubled world is not my final home.

But until then my heart will go on singing,
Until then with joy I’ll carry on,
Until the day my eyes behold the city,
Until the day God calls me home.

The things of earth will dim and lose their value
If we recall they’re borrowed for awhile;
And things of earth that cause the heart to tremble,
Remembered there will only bring a smile

Source: “Until Then” lyrics (Christian song), https://www.hymnlyrics.org/newlyrics_u/until_then.php

By Baptist Songs & Music “Until Then”

I missed how it used to be while making a Padlet post and Kahoots game for my L4 Catechism kids. I wanted to wake up the fast phase life and hear the noises of the children. Gorgeous, I am in solitude but God can’t take away from me what I truly loved. May God bless us all.

Moreover, my heart pours to the victims of the recent typhoon that destroyed so many livelihood and properties. Oh, Lord aid our land from the pandemic and calamities. You are blessed, Gorgeous! Thanks Heaven you have nothing to worry.


Gorgeous, I’m like a dog & a god…

Eventually, the year began as the worst time of existence. It is very incomprehensible, how I ended to be where I am. The radical and compulsive, eighteen year old me wouldn’t imagine that I’d be in this cold situation. Possibly, I could be there for the ones I cherished heartily. Certainly, I wouldn’t just find comfort in my composition to express how great I am feeling for you, Gorgeous.

I am like a dog, Gorgeous because I am forever loyal to you as my master and there will be no other master for me. I will always want to shield you and I will fight your fight. Nonetheless, the pandemic has taken me faraway but my home is in your heart.

I am a god because I will look after you with my power and strength. Similar to a God, I will never question or doubt you. God loves unconditionally, I may not prove it and it sounds like in the bible only. Likewise, without any doubt, I want to do the same and will the same. Your past doesn’t matter and your mistakes won’t define you. Like God, I want you to be out of the hands of those who’ll only cause your downfall.

Whether you agree it or not, true love suddenly seems to be ones weakness and an armor. Loving isn’t easy if you’re unprepared to face the phantoms and nightmares. It can break or build you. With all the baggage that comes along with love, it is always beautiful despite sleeping thorns. A lot of people presumed that I am selfish on sharing myself to others or maybe I shut down all windows and double-locked the door of my heart. Incorrect! I do love and you know that too well, Gorgeous.

By Pink Sweat$ – “At My Worst”

At my worst, Gorgeous…

Can I call you baby?
Can you be my friend?
Can you be my lover up until the very end?
Let me show you love, oh, no pretend
Stick by my side even when the world is caving in

(lyrics from “At My Worst” by Pink Sweat$)

Good night, Gorgeous! Sweet dreams!


See u! God bless you always Gorgeous!


My infinity, Gorgeous

It was a never-ending adieu. Then, I wished silently in my heart “I hope you could hear me say the same infinitely.”

I was told, “I will see you forever and ever and ever and ever!” What a sweet melody to my ears! I mean what I said, Gorgeous.

People just love in different and unique ways. I don’t browse online and sign-up in dating sites. I just know what I feel and I embrace it in my heart.

Well, there’s no right or wrong in expressing love. But, I hope you know what being ‘true’ means. I was told that the gift of the Holy Spirit and wisdom of God are upon me. If that’s the case, I am on the right track.

You don’t have to argue with me, Gorgeous. What you can’t comprehend is genuine and unchanging. The Lord above us knows better. Gorgeous, just learn to trust my words. I pray for you every night and day. It might be the least that I can do for now but it means more than billions to God.

I’m truly grateful that I got to see and be with you even it’s only within the realm of my sleep.

Gorgeous, you’re my infinity!

I miss you too. Peace be with you and God bless, Gorgeous!

See you again and again… like it never ends…

Gorgeous, I’m just one call away…

An angel told me today, “see you…” while giving me out a big smile. It moved me because I always thought that angel never liked me but I am absolutely mistaken. The irony of life, the one you least expected will be your greatest surprise from Heaven. What do you think, Gorgeous?

My apologies, Gorgeous. I am not good with other things because my extra talent is hiding and writing. I am expert at suppressing feelings and pretending… but there are more words left unsaid. Thank God, I have this space. Gorgeous, what do you know?

I pray each day for you. Please don’t feel so lonely because God is always with you. I hope He’ll grant me the guidance and blessings to be with you. Gorgeous, I really and truly wish to see and hear your voice. I’m just scared… always scared…

I’ll stand up and be walking on my heels again…

I’m only one call away

I’ll be there to save the day

Superman got nothin’ on me
I’m only one call away

Reachin’ out to you, so take a chance

‘Cause you know, I just wanna see you smile

By Charlie Puth “One Call Away”

ILY, Gorgeous! Miss U! Good night… sweet dreams… God bless! See u, later!

Gorgeous, I can come to the rescue again…

Incomprehensible twists of fate linked our pathways together that eventually separated oceans apart. Gorgeous, I repeatedly questioned myself “where the boys are?” I may not be the prettiest nor the the smartest in places I went but my colorful, naïve, bubbly and carefree personalities shone in my unique ways. In different chapters of my life, I had romantic entanglements that were brief and friendly with no strings attached. No commitments; likewise, they moved my heart at those moments. Gorgeous, I remember their names but I never dreamt any of them. Hence, I reminisced the boys; yet, the feelings no longer linger. So, Gorgeous, you’re such one of the kind for you are never absent in all my slumbers. Gorgeous, how do you have that power over me? I should have forgotten but I just can’t—

Call me weird but you appeared to be in need of assistance. Are you? I have no cash to offer but my skills are all yours to use. Gorgeous, if you needed me. I can always come to the rescue and no distance can stop me. I don’t bother or disturb others. It’s who I am. Probably, it is because I am very independent and I can be happy on my own. In addition to that, I am one radical thinker but gullible…

Gorgeous, I wish one day… you find my words of sincerity and devotion to you… I hope my words will move your heart…

Gorgeous, my forevermore dearest…

Dearest Gorgeous,

Thank you for your unintentional thoughtfulness. You absolutely had no idea what I felt today even until this moment. It was a disbelief but I am overwhelmed with so much joy overflowing inside my heart. Honestly, I ignored a lot of people my whole life even the ones closest to me but you with you there was no escaping. I don’t owe anyone nor failed others but I ran away because I am no longer the same. My secondary friends and classmates are looking for me to attend for the reunion because I missed it for many years… ABSENT as always! I had a wonderful school life in all stages of my life because of the kindness I received around even if I kept misinterpreting the attention I got wrongly. So many of my previous students, even my closest relatives and childhood friends are trying to get me. Nonetheless, I am concealed from anyone’s view because of shame and unfilled goals in life. I felt underserving to all of them and I had nothing to offer.

Gorgeous, my downfalls led me into hiding and hibernating. Despite my efforts, I am unsuccessful and it seemed destiny in is unkind to me. What you brought to light today, raised some concerns within but thank God you are alright. Nevertheless, I am praying for your safety and always will…

Don’t you know that in the middle until the end of March I had a serious flu and so I self-quarantined myself. I was not tested because at that time, it wasn’t the height of pandemic in my place. Hence, COVID-19 testing kits were not easily accessible. I also hesitated of testing because I recently arrived from abroad and I would no doubt be declared positive. Thankfully, my self-medication and personal precautions worked. Above all, I didn’t control my food consumption. As a result, I put on a lot of wait. Hey, I am so embarrassed to show myself!

Gorgeous, thank you for sparing me a second of your time. I may have nothing now but I will rise from this downfall. Gorgeous, today is so unforgettable and so meaningful because of you. It was like walking in a dream… a million, billion, trillion, zillion… nope, an infinite ‘thank you very much!’

By Stephanie Poetri ” Love You 3000″

‘Cause you’re my Iron Man

And I love you 3000

Gorgeous, take a chance

Light the Candles for the Heartless, Gorgeous!

Cyberworld is a fraud and hoax

Cold people preying on the innocent

Unforgiving high and mighty

Your taking the lead not for long

Adieu… you’re bidding farewell soon

Trash all your cash in the pit of hell

What you deprived from others

Will be taken away from you???

Every teardrops worth more than your gold

You should learn the Law of Gravity

Young blood possessed by the the Pharisees

Trick or treat! Oops, you got what you deserved

Happy Halloween! Your souls need no costumes

Let’s light the candles for the heartless

May the wisdom of the saints burn in their hearts!

Waking up in the truth, drowning in tears…

Don’t weep! Explode!!! A big bang…

Wait! A lot cares… for short period of time

Whether for real or just for the parade…

It’s never you, Gorgeous… it’s not them either….

It’s life that is meant to be disappointing…