Gorgeous, be careful with the kiss of Judas

When you cursed someone you already dug your own grave

And when you betrayed your King, you wished not to exist…

A lot of woman are sweet but are good words come out in their lips?

Some women are physically perfect in human standards but can they be trusted?

😇😇😇

(from Psalm 69: 1-35)

2

Save me, God,

for the waters* have reached my neck.a

3

I have sunk into the mire of the deep,

where there is no foothold.

I have gone down to the watery depths;

the flood overwhelms me.b

4

I am weary with crying out;

my throat is parched.

My eyes fail,

from looking for my God.c

5

More numerous than the hairs of my head

are those who hate me without cause.d

Those who would destroy me are mighty,

my enemies without reason.

Must I now restore

what I did not steal?*

II

6

God, you know my folly;

my faults are not hidden from you.

7

Let those who wait in hope for you, LORD of hosts,

not be shamed because of me.

Let those who seek you, God of Israel,e

not be disgraced because of me.

8

For it is on your account I bear insult,

that disgrace covers my face.

13

Those who sit in the gate gossip about me;

drunkards make me the butt of songs.

III

14

But I will pray to you, LORD,

at a favorable time.

God, in your abundant kindness, answer me

with your sure deliverance.j

15

Rescue me from the mire,k

and do not let me sink.

Rescue me from those who hate me

and from the watery depths.

16

Do not let the flood waters overwhelm me,

nor the deep swallow me,

nor the pit close its mouth over me.

17

Answer me, LORD, in your generous love;

in your great mercy turn to me.

18

Do not hide your face from your servant;

hasten to answer me, for I am in distress.l

19

Come and redeem my life;

because of my enemies ransom me.

20

You know my reproach, my shame, my disgrace;

before you stand all my foes.

21

Insult has broken my heart, and I despair;

I looked for compassion, but there was none,

for comforters, but found none.

24

Make their eyes so dim they cannot see;

keep their backs ever feeble.

33

“See, you lowly ones, and be glad;

you who seek God, take heart!s

34

For the LORD hears the poor,

and does not spurn those in bondage.

35

Let the heaven and the earth praise him,

the seas and whatever moves in them!

I woke up dreaming of you. I can’t sleep again. So, I composed this instead.

Gorgeous, Once Precious JEWEL

Been there first, gorgeous

Breathtaking indeed

One of the kind like you

Not available around the globe

Gladly I arrived in clandestine

I will never spill the beans

Come discover too the JEWEL

Present in me, all yours to explore!!!

For my eyes only for now

In my phone, copies captured

As always, willing to wait

Patience is the virtue

Possessed not only by the Divine!!!

Gorgeous, I am a servant

After mass, I was scolded for being rude by an old lady in front of my nieces. Well, my side of the story was we were waiting for a table and I was so naive in believing that in public places people are supposedly to be considerate and willing to share the space to others. I asked nicely but perhaps I was unheard. The other lady was already done with her food while the other was finishing her noodle (which was already a quarter of her plate). The place was packe because it was already dinner time. So, I made the wrong presumption that those elderly women would be done when our order would come (which was served 20 minutes later). I kept quiet with the whole ordeal, I was in shocked and numbed for being accused as one. The old ladies attended the same mass as we did since they had the same palms that we were holding. It was a public place and the area was so small and crowded. There were no other place to stand. We already asked to share a table with a willing couple but the table was so small to fit the four of us. So, we decided to wait for the two elderly women to leave the table since our other order wasn’t ready yet. If they disliked the sight my nieces standing near the table, they could have said something when I asked. The sad part was, we were following the same religion and attended the same church. Yet, what was with the foul attitude. I let it off while I was scolded, I prayed for self-control and also for the scene to end abruptly. It wasn’t my intention to be rude. I pitied my nieces for witnessing the scene. But, my sister told them not take the experience in the heart.

The priest said a meaningful message about the importance of the celebration of Lent. But are we those who kneel down and pray in the Adoration Room, and judge others outside? Are we Christians because we do not want to feel lonely and be in the Church for the sense of belongingness? Are we Christians because we are aware that without Christ we are nothing and a nobody? Do we say our grace before meals and scold people afterwards? Anyway, my faith is not based on others who judged me who know nothing of who I am. I could have apologised but I was afraid that the auntie was a war freak and scandalous woman. So, I chose to be modest and kept my silence.

Today is the celebration of Palm Sunday. During our session, we re-enacted the scene when Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Some kids said it was a gross and yucky experience. But, the message was we are called to serve others. People are welcome to judge me but no one can take away my willingness and pure intentions in serving others through my gifts and talents. I am everybody’s servant and yours too. I am a servant, abiding, humble, meek and obedient. Forgive me, Lord to cause the madness of those old ladies for whatever they felt towards me in that situation.

What is faith for me?

My faith is shaped by my culture.

It is sharpened by my encounters and experiences (whether bad or good).

Above all, it is strenghtened by…

my hunger and thirst of the Holy Spirit,

…my undying love for Jesus

…my strong desire and hope to be with my Creator in Heaven one day

Gorgeous, the Purity of thy Heart Always Matter!

My sister was apologetic, she thought that I might be upset. It was no one’s fault. I gave her my sweetest smile and I exclaimed, “I need to draw for tomorrow’s session. I’ll tell the kids the story of St Maria Goretti.”

Do I feel bad? Of course not, I rejoice at other’s success and follow the Almighty. I am a servant, humble and meek. The acts and I did for everyone else is out of the goodness of my heart. No need for praises and recognition. I serve out the purity and goodness of my heart. I know too well that the God whom I obey and serve won’t punish anyone. If He does, then He’s not my God at all! My God is forgiving, loving and merciful. I am grateful to Him and pray that I may remain in goodness.

Thank you for the brief loud songs and also for lending me what I mindlessly forgotten.

Gorgeous, there are no conditions

Beyond the fuzzy horizon and in the time not under my control, I am the victim and victimizer of my mishaps and undoings. The consequences of my imperfections may break or seal bonds still I don’t want to be astray anymore. So, borrowing the Almighty’s forbearance, I walk the path of light that is somehow the road less traveled.

Whether I am with or not with someone, I pray to God to shape me like a Proverbs 31 woman, who is virtuous and kind-hearted. Someone who takes care and can be entrusted of the key of someone special’s heart. What makes my love unconditional? I deeply care even if you overlook my presence for several instances. I am contented of those stolen glimpses because I don’t have to force something that can be given freely. You did me wrong for several instances, I forgave not because it was my obligation as a Christian but it came from the overflowing love and mercy of my heart. I remain generous of my blessings and time even if it isn’t necessary. I surpress my lust and desires because I respect your decision and value as a beautiful person as the most gorgeous creation of God. Even if you choose to keep distance and shut up, I remained to be true and didn’t beg for attention because you don’t chase and cage a lovely butterfly for it is born to be free… free to explore and enjoy the adventures of the world. No hassles and strings attached. It seems unthinkable, the reason why I still hold you dearly within even you despise and provoke me, and despite a thousand times of indifference and ingratitude. For afer all, no matter what I do, I am always be me and that’s who I am. To sum up, the situation doesn’t make me the loser instead it is my opportunity to be grounded on my faith and virtues.

We all have speck of dusts, which cover our eyesight to see clearly. When the coast is clear, you’ll realise that I make sense all this time. I won’t quit nor give up easily. I believe and trust in God’s time. My hands maybe so little but I can handle and accomplish many things for you, others, myself and for God.

It’s a long day indeed… Another informative and insightful talk with Father Garcia….

Gorgeous, I thank thee

In the den of the snake, there are still notable people and also exists the epitome of cool, the most gorgeous of them all.

Isn’t today the same as the other day? Not really, some slight difference and I thank thee.

St Raphael, thy angel, I am indeed no match to all of them. In the vanity contest, I will surely not make it at the bottom list because I won’t certainly qualify. Insecurity or inferiority? Nope, I am just being true to myself. When everyone is fighting for the top spot, I kneel down and pray because I believe in myself and the Divine. Hilarious for some! But, this is the way I am.

I am the girl who grew up sheltered by father’s shield. Not allowed to do sports and other masculine related activities. Yet, what my father didn’t that I was climbing trees and I enjoyed hiking and nature trekking during summer holidays. I admit that I have poor muscle cooordination and I am very clumsy but it never stopped me to take some extra and hidden adventures while growing up. I can’t sing and dance for timing is very lousy but my limited skills never stopped me from enjoying the music to entertain so many and for my stress relief.

I thank thee for reminding me that my age isn’t my limitation and my race isn’t my hindrance. I am as beautiful as everyone else. Deep within, I am the same girl who loves life and capable in doing things despite my flaws and hindrances. I thank for that presence, it might not the same as I imagined and fancied…. dreams are super extra in details…

I thank thee for existing within for in my deepest secret, I always believe and wanting to take care of you.

Gorgeous, that’s what u call OBVIOUSLY OBVIOUS!!!!

Go girl! Try all your might!!! I must be agitated to the max similar as before…. Keeping my 😎 cool!!! Praying for the virtue of self-control!!!

Whew!!! What happen to some woman’s modesty? Do you really have to lower the guard and step down one’s dignity to get the guy? Then, what happily ever after??? Do you the guy some puppet you can manipulate or some toy you can possess?

Some men I used to know find irritating… trying hard so much isn’t always the joyous conclusion. Loving someone is more than the interests but letting the person who is… making him feel free of being himself… A man isn’t some prince to fill a woman’s fantasy but he is a person who needs to be cared and understood.

Go ahead and get him!!! It will hurt badly but I know my intentions are always crystal clear and the purest of them all!!!

I may not speak the language fluently now but my heart always speaks the truth. Any man isn’t an object to parade around, they are God’s greatest creations meant to be served and places in the highest pedestal.

Gorgeous, Let’s Bring Back the Boys

The fortess unbroken

Boys were playful

But there were certain

Who was who? They knew

Let’s bring back the boys

For they were courageous

Wise young gentlemen

With their innocent hearts

They see vividly and clearly

Easy ones were turned off

Just for the games on the bed

Sincere and truthfulness mattered

Perhaps, the boys knew better

As the journey goes on

Those boys are boys no more

Hope they shield their hearts

Keep up such good jobs!!!

Always proud of those boys

Thank God, I let them flew!!!

Gorgeous, I’ll be there…

Always there for a friend in need… you, know that just call my name and I’ll be there. God knows that I wanted to be there for you but you enjoy the exploration and attention. You never look and listen! If you’ll only paid attention, I can go beyond with what any can possibly do… it is beyond your wildest dreams!

Going home late to rescue a friend in all the tons of works that ought to be completed. Well, thanks for the free dinner and the goodies straight from Japan. I am always there for anyone. Well, it’s up to you!!! Whatever there is be happy with wherever you are…

Gorgeous, let’s cross the stream…

Perhaps, I should admire them. One is quite confident in herself and her youth as her tool to surely get the guy. One is very daring to use interests to be part of the guy’s world. Aren’t they amazing? For my part, I certainly have none.

Perhaps, I am that same naive girl who was bashful and only had in my mind, “no one is watching me and no one will notice with whatever I’ll put on.” I was always being me. I never asked the attention and praises I had nor I put so much effort to get and impress anyone. I only did what I do… take care of myself and others and be the best I can for myself, for others and God. I believe, people across any lands are the same, regardless how rampant physical vanity is, I am certain that there are people who see skin deep. The purity of the heart always matter… not the youth, over-confidence and daringness… I’d rather kneel down and pray for the one I truly love rather than lure or manipulate him into the trap of unhappiness. Gorgeous, I said it many times before, only your happiness matters above all.

Perhaps, I can’t take away from me my caring, compassionate and nurturing behaviour. Even if I am wearing the mask of gloominess at times still I can’t hide my true nature of shallowness in finding little joy in everything and even appreciate all the things I had. The week was terrible feeling for me but I ended it with my brief but sincere apology. When I reached home, I saw a small package when I opened it, I saw a white watch with infinity and angel wings designs. One of those cute stuff, I must ordered. I browsed the shopping app to confirm that I received the item. Surprisingly, it was not in the list of item that I purchased. I ran through my cart and wishlist but the item was not inside. I browsed other shopping apps in my mobile device but the item was not there.

Perhaps, the seller delivered wrongly. Or perhaps, it was God reminding me that even I am falling to hell, He’s angels are real and He sends them for me. Perhaps, it was all but coincidences. Yet, thank you gorgeous for another beautiful dream. I saw you laughing and smiling. Whether you feel my happiness or not in reality, it doesn’t matter for as long you’re well, I am grateful to the heavens.

Perhaps, you’ll find it hilarious that each day I pray to God that He’ll send angels to protect you. You might forbid it but I hope through my angels you’ll feel the authenticity, purity and warmth of my love. Gorgeous, let’s cross the stream despite of the criticisms… who cares anyway when God’s grace is with us all the time? Across the stream of uncertainties, we can be ourselves and it isn’t the happy ending of our fairytale because it is the most wonderful adventure of our lifetime worth all the risks with the love and blessings of God. God never fails of telling you. He always whisper in your heart the greatness and truthfulness of my desires.

Gorgeous, My Dear…

The power of youth in your grasp

Enjoy the beauty tailing you

Same interests, getting closer

Together waltzing in your haven

Should I envy your happiness?

Gorgeous, my dear, my apologies

Forgive this foolish old girl

For falling and feeling this way

You must rejoice in the clouds

I look up feeling contented

Reminding myself whatever there is

Your happiness matters above all

I am sorry for all the shades

Love shouldn’t prevent God’s grace

This should be not my hindrance

To dwell in goodness and joy

Gorgeous, my dear, be in my dreams

At least in there, I love you truly

No judgements and no shame!

Gorgeous, I hold U in my heart❤️😍😘

I wish to have a heart as big as the moon so that I can share my light to everyone. But, I can’t because I am a hypocrite who only claimed to love God. If I love God, why can’t I embrace those who persecute me? Indeed, I gave in to my human needs of belongingness and appreciated that obvious injustice and unfairness became my torture. I cooperated and shared my kindnesss. Yet, all I received in return was the ingratitude, cruelty and spreading lies about me. My space became my shield because I have nothing to prove to those who only desire my downfall. Foolish me!!! My actions only stop me from allowing the grace of God to work with me.

I received this from a friend and it gave me tears of joy. Despite of the scolding and finding fault, there are people who genuinely care. Indeed, I have millions of reasons to go but only one to stay. God brought me here. So, I must work hand-in-hand with him. One of my daughter said that her daughter said I am pretty and she likes me a lot. Well, honestly, I don’t put on so much make-up and my face is oily all the time. I only dress in fashion even if I am heavyweight because this is my way of telling the world that I look good for I love what I am doing. I am glad that one of those children I am with, appreciates and sees the beauty in me. After all, I always give out my best because I love all of them no matter how they behaved. There are my cute angels who reminds me that God’s grace is working in me. All I have to do is to believe and trust Him. I don’t have to impress or try so hard to get someone because I am really shy and all of those things are scary to me… I just have to appreciate my blessings, share my gifts, be there for others, be strong all the time and glorify God above all.

Gorgeous, I love because I can and I do. I don’t love because of what I benefit from it or due to something good it brings into my life. I love because of my willingness to share who I am and be with that person unconditionally. God knows that no matter and whatever, I still hold you in my heart and same as He hold ours in His hand. Have faith and just believe….

Yes, Gorgeous! I miss you too❤️❤️❤️

Whatever devils lurking in the minds of those of aged, may not poisoned the purity and innocence of the young. My little angels, thank you for checking and missing me when I was around. Those sweet voices became music to my ears, my vitamins A-Z and gave meaning why I heed to the call. Indeed, God really knew where to place me. I am so thankful for the joys to bring and giving me the sense of belongingness. A reminder that indeed my goodness was never overlooked and my light still shines brightly. May I continue to inspire others and no darkness will succeed to swallow me to nothingness. My angels, I tried to argue to the medical expert… but at times, the body asks for rest!

The way of the world is harsh, one only looks after for oneself. Despite of that, I believe that the community I build isn’t fake compared to the pile blocks meant to be broken and never to rebuild. Although several times, I exclaimed that I miss myself until when I’m gonna be wearing the mask. Yet, I have to somehow for my safety because no one will be there to protect me. I am only meant to push my limits and sabotaged but I will never do the same. “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” People can destroy my reputation by pointing out my flaws but no one can ever take away my talents and the goodwill of my heart. I am always the happy me with never fading beautiful smile… and I know my little angels seen that…

I am uniquely me and there’s no need to act and do what others are doing to get someone. No need to give a great impression to meet the requirement. Father Garcia made a point you don’t have to beg for something conditional. Hold on to yourself and be on guard with your virtues as your shield and weapon against the snares of our own demons.

Alain Robert is a French rock climber and urban climber, Father Garcia’s favourite person. Father used him as an example during our talks (maybe he’s a fan of the human Spiderman). Alain Robert me reminded me of the virtue of fortitude, an extraordinary strength in the midst of all the struggles. I may not literally climb but time will tell I probably change my navogation route. Life is a never-ending adventures out of Neverland, no age limit nor height requirement. Everyone is welcome to enjoy regardless of race, language and religion. Always keep your spirits high for the soul doesn’t grow old.

Dearest Gorgeous, Isn’t It Amazing?

Hell must be having a party now! However, like St Lorenzo Ruiz, I will never trade my faith with anything else. It took me awhile to pick myself from being shattered, I know too well that God never left me.

I expressed my thanks to those people who appreciated my efforts and hardwork… that’s the lease I could give to all the uplifting words given to me freely. Let others shamed and judged me, God knows the truth. So much politics at its peak! However, I should not allow anyone to switch off my life. Everyday I am thankful to the little angels who brighten my day for they made this whole journey meaningful.

Dear gorgeous, my bitter tears tasted sweet because of all the good things that I’ve heard. What really matters is the difference I made, the goodness of my heart and my neverending sacrifices that I made for God others. Isn’t it amazing to find good people as angels even you’re forced to burn in hell!

Thank you Lord for this experience, I promise that I’ll put my chin up because you’ve given the opportunities to share my gifts to others. This maybe the best version of me, I’ll keep reminding myself that you’re there and so as my Papa too. I needed not to impress anyone because I believe that all Your children deserve the best!

Beasts maybe lurking around. I’ll go on fighting for what really matters and never give up. None of them will be coming back but thank you very much for choosing and considering me once in your lifetime. Thank you for the learnings and memories… priceless laughter and incomparable generosity. Thank you for your time and for making feel that I exist.

(Practicing my sketch for angel deco on the church’s classroom)

Buoquet of Roses for the Most Gorgeous!

Roses for you, gorgeous. Oops! You already bought for her (a friend of yours spilled the beans) Great! You’re feet must be off the ground!!! So many butterflies fluttering around you. What I have given may nothing to who they are…. but, it’s alright because I gave with all my heart and the intentions to make you joyful…. of course, none of it was appreciated, even if I tried to care or being thoughtful— Yeah, I forgot, you already mentioned that you are not available!!! Every time you do, think and say the worst of me… I lift up the pain to God and pray with fortitude and perseverance. What do I know? I don’t judge because my heart is fair…. no biases and favouritism— I serve everyone regardless of age, gender and physical attributes.

I know beyond what others can see, God knows my heart! Welcome to the boat is sinking whereby everyone is pushing me away to drown. Wait a minute! I can’t swim but I won’t drown because God is my lifesaver! You only see me according to your terms but I’m glad you give her those flowers for mine exists in my head!!!! The sins and all are only the invention of my mind. Thank God, it won’t happen at all!!!!

Gorgeous, I gave my Papa bouquet of roses too. It made him happy. I only wish my flowers’ fragrance plus its unconditional love. It’s alright to be ignored, I’ll still do my best and chose goodness all the time! Be prudent always because after death… God won’t ask your age, laguage, height, weight… and nationality!!! Parousia is for all! You’re welcome there too, Gorgeous! I hope that I can show it to you when the day comes… you will have more than a dozens of roses but a bed of roses…. Maybe she’ll bring you instead! See you, I am looking forward for your coming there in God’s Kingdom where my Papa dwells.

You have all the reasons to hate and misunderstand me… One day, you’ll know whose heart is the most true and the greatest of them all! May God bless you always! Peace and love to you❤️😘

Gorgeous, I am always enough❤️🤓🤓

I quit sabotaging myself and belittling my God-given abilities.

Q

A visit to the old place and a young boy noticed me. When he remembered and called my name, the memories flashed back. Indeed, I am the same beautiful, compassionate and loving person that he and the rest of them used to know. (Choa Chu Kang)

Then, together with my nieces and Sister, I stopped over and transferred my artworks to the walls on the classroom at the church. Even if there was no session today, I took the opportunity to decorate the room. (Yio Chu Kang)

Well, the day ended by attending a concert for a meaningful caused. Fortune favours the bold and my resolution to be authentically me. I am not an egret anymore. I am always enough and I will fly like the eagle that I am. (Expo)

Gorgeous are you awake?

Gorgeous did you see me?

I am always at that corner

Gorgeous were you there?

Keeping the distance

Not afar, stay closer

Gorgeous did you hear me?

Speaking in silence

Chained to my fears

Gorgeous, I’m timid

Bound to my beliefs

Who cares about numbers?

In heaven, it’s all fair

No race and no age

The soul doesn’t grow old

No tradition and culture

Happiness is eternal

Gorgeous are you awake?

Can you feel me inside?

Gorgeous, I love you!!!!

I hope you don’t mind❤️😍😘

Gorgeous, am I chasing pavements?

I’ve made up my mind
Don’t need to think it over
If I’m wrong I am right
Don’t need to look no further

This ain’t lust
I know this is love

but

If I tell the world
I’ll never say enough
Cause it was not said to you
And that’s exactly what I need to do
If

I’m in love with you

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
I’d build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it or
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?

Lyrics from “Chasing Pavements” by Adele

Gorgeous, although in separate paths

Today is the Feast of Transfiguration when Jesus transformed into divine at Mount Tabor with the spirits of Abraham and Elijah. I took my penance to the core and I decided to visit several Churches.

First stop in Punggol. I wasn’t thinking of the transfiguration of Jesus’ feast day…. It was merely a coincidence. I chose to visit the Church of Transfiguration first because I have never been to the new church since it started early last year. Of course, I was lost but that never stopped me. I persevered because my prayers are always answered. My requests are so little for Jesus who is my king and my saviour!

Second stop was in Sengkang, Church of Saint Anne. My friend used to tell me that St Anne interceded for her to find what she was looking for… I believe that St Anne will not fail me too!

Third stop at Yio Chu Kang, the Church of Saint Vincent de Paul. This church is like a home to me, not because I served here and built a community. It’s because beyond what I’ve known before… it is written! Let thy will be done! St Vincent, I know that you are always there for me.

Fourth stop was in Ang Mo Kio, Christ the King Church. I was home in this place for a very long time. I lift to His cross all my brokenness and hopelessness then… He heard my pleas and the Blessed Mother too. I pray to be like the Blessed Mother, prayerful and faithful.

Fifth stop was in Toa Payoh, the Church of the Risen Christ. He carried and died on the Christ but He was risen to save us all. When Jesus rose from the dead after three days, it only proved that His light is greater than darkness and death. May I possess His light to share to others and be there to the ones I care deeply…. chances are… I have faith. It may sound insane to others… I don’t need all the sort of social apps for God is greater than Mark Zuckerberg, Kevin Systrom, Mark Krieger, Jack Dorsey, Noah Glass, Biz Stone, Evan Williams and many great minds who founded all the social media that this generation is so hooked and cannot live without…

Well, I am just this ordinary woman who has my own share of vanity still has fear and faith in the Almighty. It’s true that we don’t share the same routes and beliefs. Although in separate paths we are in, I never forgot to say my prayers for everyone and especially and solely for you…

(Photos were edited with Meitu and PicsArt apps)

Gorgeous, God isn’t Asleep!!!

Sleep not my Lord

Too tired, I am giving up

I am patient for so long

Breaking my heart again

Raising the white flag

Drowning in my tears

Is it my time to quit???

Should I endure some more?

You’re the God of Abraham

The king of all kings!

My request is so little for you

For your greatness is vast

Today, you reminded me

“Persevere in prayers, my child

I am God of all who listens

None of your efforts are wasted

I know the right time for you

Your kindness will be rewarded

Your patience is worth it all

I am never asleep in heaven

Trust me, you’re next line

Sooner than you expected

He’s in your thoughts everyday

And you’re in his every time

He’s on a watch closely

While you were not looking

He is always in your dreams

And it’s no different in his—

My light is greater than darkness

Both of you are my children

It is never a question of how

I have my ways and I know when!”

Gorgeous, be my light!!!

It was anwful start for I had to go back and missed my bus because I left my phone. I was late and not really a worst scenario because I left my wallet. And so there it was, as I entered the room and heard it clearly… the vaccum of darkness sucked the little light in me.

At the Adoration room, I complained to God and questioned him. Am I not good enough? Why I ended up in a place where I am not appreciated? I pulled away to protect myself because I am certain of the attacks waiting for to breakdown. How big were my sins? When I had my confession, I could only say two… a child sinned more than I did. However, why became the villain when my intentions weren’t unselfish? I didn’t come to flirt nor I didn’t help to please. Why this generation so blinded with filters and fake news? No wonder, it’s no surprise, they can’t see the truth in front of them. I wanted to remain kind only I am always judged to be wrong. I told God, ‘come on, I give!’ I wanted my dreams not to remain in my head… I just don’t want to hear the voice already forgotten. I wanted to see the face and find out the name. The recent dreams brought me so much jubilee within. Reality check, the butterfly is flirting with all the young and pretty flowers in the garden.

After reading the Gospel, I realised that I am no different from that young man. I too so attached to my baggages that pulled away from God’s grace. Lord, let my friends words be Yours and may their prayers for me be heard. Didn’t I asked for signs? The affirmation said by them may came from You. You used others’ lips to speak to me. And you said, “for human beings it is impossible but not is impossible in God.”

Gorgeous dearest,

After grabbing a quick bite of two slices of bread, it was almost 7pm when I dozed off. Work must be probably so exhausting that I took a nap that long (almost or more than two hours). When I woke up, it was passed 9 pm. Well, I was off with a lot of things and none of those were just some lame excuses.

I should have left when I had the chance. How ungrateful people could be? How awful must be the devil lurking in their hearts to disregard the pain they caused others? What goes around comes around. Possibly it isn’t true at this minute. Yet, when it will happen, I hope you won’t be wrinkly and helpless or sick and vegetable because the burden maybe too much for you to bear. Blessed are we whom you caused such trouble and thank you for focusing on our flaws because you gave us strength to persevere while you drag yourself to darkness.

Before I left from that unreal place, someone spoke with me and he did understand. He gave me an advise and warning. At the end of the conversation I said, “no matter what, I will still do my best and give my best!” The world is unkind and even I am treated as trash, I must remain strong and be brave. ALWAYS CHOOSE KINDNESS!

Blessed are my dreams that serve as the channel of God’s voice for I am reminded how much I am loved and never left alone. Recently, in the series of dreams, I am assured that my heart’s desires will be fulfilled.

Lord, teach me to be patience and help me to endure against adversities. Remind the people around me that I am not making excuses, I am just too occupied to be there for others. Are they aware of the messages asking for my aid that needed immediate attention? I keep quiet of what I have done for others for the glory isn’t mine but yours. Let me the voice to the children I am with everyday and also tomorrow. Two sessions of volunteer! God enlighten me with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Let me speak your language to the children tomorrow so that I can bring to them how much and great is your love.

Honestly, I am unprepared. But anything to help a friend who isn’t well! Bless us all, dear Lord! Bless the hearts of those who blindly and blurly see the goodness in my heart and the pureness of my intentions! Save them from falling out of grace. In the midst of the mist of lies, justice and truth will always prevail!!!! Goodness rules!

Lastly, I can’t give monetary tithes but I share and offer to You, my Almighty King my intellect, skills, voice and time. These maybe nothing to others but to You, I am more than enough!!! I love you with all I am… with all my being, my heart and soul!!!

To God be the glory! AMEN!!!

Gratitude beyond the grave

Voices so deep, sounds from six feet under

Reminiscing those who passed on

I was half sleep, clearly heard my Father

My grandma’s echoing repetitive thanks

My uncle’s gesture of gratefulness

Beyond the grave they had spoken

Acknowledging my generosity and sacrifice

My blessings are mine but I chose to share

And their sincere thanks were more than enough

I’m same shallow girl, little things make me joyous

Don’t expect so much or payback

A simple thank you means a lot

I don’t have the witch’s deadly venom

Do I deserve the hate and ill-judgement?

Will you count the faults rather than the blessings?

Hope those who departed will prove you incorrect

Reminding you that good women wear high heels too!

God will make a way

Exhausted on my way home, nothing much going into my head. After I plugged in my headphones, I silently told my head that the first song played on random selection will be the title of my post today.

Honestly, part of me was urging me to check in and say good wishes. Yet, knowing the person, he is surrounded by a crowd. Certainly, whatever gesture I would, as always wouldn’t make a count. Whether I sincerely cared and deeply concerned, it wouldn’t make a difference. So, I’ll just jot down into my prayers what would surely didn’t matter anyway…

“I admit dear Lord that the displayed ingratitude and uncaring attitude slashed my heart. A friend exclaimed that all my generosity were unappreciated and I should stop sharing. It made me think that in this crazy world a good heart is easy to overlook.

Forgive me, if I chose my silence and be there to the ones who’ll surely recognise my kindness and efforts. Perhaps, it feels great to be there to those whom I know appreciate even my simple smile and see the beautiful me.

Dear Lord, it is sad to change who I am. I miss my silly and shallow laughter. I miss my loud voice. I don’t want to change things; however, it was what others need– minus me.

It’s true, it hurts like a thousand gunshots that pierced my heart over and over again. Still I don’t wish I’ll-fortune to others. Karma may somehow real but not to him (exclude him, please).

Probably he’s living on high, celebrated and looked up by many. I maybe the outsider but you know too well how pure and sincere are my intentions. This all but drama to the millennials, still I pray for his good riddance and may he’s jubilant as always.

Aid him in all his needs. Send an angel to be always be there for him. I hope that I am that angel on flesh. Yet, let him be!!!

My guardian angel, I lend you to him so that you’ll be there for him in my absence and whisper in his dreams that I am always here for I never left. I always care and love him more than anything else in this world.

Lastly, thank you Lord for making him alright.”

When I learned about it, I prayed wholeheartedly. Thank God that everything is fine now.

It’s YOU who matters above all

I will never insist or force myself to someone who feels he is happy with another. Let the eagles fly to jungle for they belong to the wild. Deep within, my sweetness is overflowing but since you made a choice to resist and be blinded with pride. I let you be. No havoc for I am a kin to love and peace. No fights and angry words. For you know too well I did a lot from you and wasted more? What happen to gratitude and gratefulness? Perhaps, you are joyous in forgetting and not bothering at all.

I AM WHO I AM. I meant every single world that I handwritten. I might somehow be upset and disappointed still no one can erase my truthfulness. None was a lie Nor a flattery… not meant to win affection nor get the attention. I care and share because that’s who I am. If you don’t want any of my generosity and kindness, I’d rather give it to those who can appreciate me that even my mere presence is their delight.

Not because you made such choice that I will feel awful of myself. Nope, I will never allow that… you may choose not to see the beauty in me, it doesn’t mean that I will lose sight of myself. I am always worthy because I too is God’s masterpiece and I got a lot to share to the world.

Sadly, there’s so many good things I want to say. Indeed, I always care and be there when you needed me the most. Somehow you choose to do what you do even you know how badly it hurts. I never stop loving and caring. I never give up… Everything is up to you because YOU who matters after all.

I pray your welfare and good health. Just ensure that your jubilant because in my ways I am on my own.

Lonely table just for one

Isn’t it an odd world? Do people have amnesia? Aren’t they too young to have Alzheimer’s? Despite the harsh attack, I must protect myself through my songs and by continuously doing good to others. Let those with foolish tongues spread the lies to preserve themselves because pulling others down won’t bring any of them up.

The real me should be preserved. I won’t let anyone describe me according to their terms. At the end of the day, I will still choose to be selfless and happy… the woman who always smile, optimistic and true to my words.

Of course, I felt bad and had lunch all by myself. Honestly, I dreaded returning to that place but before I left someone approached me for he needed my assistance. I received a message seeking for my aid. As I was chewing my food a little girl came to my side and then another little boy followed. When I was at the gate, my colleague’s daughter who happened to be in my class gave me a quick hug. Am I that antagonist defined by the few who even failed their responsibilities?

I went down to help my colleagues and another one was worried that I might be unable to be there for the group. I gave a pat on my shoulder because at the end of the day, I made myself significant. It was never an issue of being needed but being sincere to be with others. Some may doubt, question and forget my goodness, I’m fine with that coz God is never asleep.

I conducted two sessions today for my volunteer in the church because my Friend wasn’t feeling well. What happened yesterday didn’t put me to sleep with a heavy heart because I was occupied with my drawing, preparing all the materials and researching more about Abraham. I had no chance of praying at the Adoration room before the session began because I had materials that I missed out preparing.

My friend requested my help on printing the ancient map of Abraham’s route on A3. But, I didn’t just print it… in stead I painted it, put on hard paper and covered it nicely on my expense, spending my money, time and effort. To think about it, I had little money left because I lent everything to my brother who needed it the most. Now, feel free to call me bad?

Indeed, others are quick to jump into conclusions when they just have no idea who you really are— Thank you, dear God for the good rest today!!!

Don’t frown or else you’ll be less gorgeous—

Get Out of the Way, B****

Is There a Bitch in Your Workplace?
Occasionally you may unexpectedly come across a bitch at work.
Posted Feb 13, 2013
by Meredith Fuller, Working with B*tches

Most professional women are too busy working long and hard to even contemplate the question. We don’t expect to come across any and we certainly don’t look for them, so how could we tell?

Initially, we can’t believe that someone is being bitchy and tend to assume that we have misread the situation. Why would another women want to humiliate us in a meeting, sabotage our career, or play silly games to destabilize us? We give her the benefit of doubt, and may blame ourselves for the misunderstanding and work even harder at communicating. When that doesn’t work, we tend to blame ourselves as we struggle to cope with the interpersonal difficulty.

We don’t wish to betray the sisterhood, or draw attention to our vulnerability, lack of coolness or internal resources. If we try to tell friends and family, they may try to problem solve by offering simplistic retorts we could never utter, or snort with derision at our silly paranoia.

We tend to remain silent – it is embarrassing and shameful to acknowledge that we’re allowing someone to upset us, or that we are helpless at trying to resolve it. Perhaps we are concerned about retaining our job, and swallow our distress. Secretly, we wonder whether we are weak and pathetic; other women seem to take it in their stride or fail to notice. We must be overly sensitive. Maybe we lack political or strategic prowess – yet another failing. We witness our career prospects wither as our naivety or niceness renders us powerless.

A number of women I see in my private practice describe similar stages:

1. incredulity: They cannot believe that another woman could be nasty to them. They surmise that there must be a miscommunication, misunderstanding, or lack of skill – it must be their fault or perhaps there is something wrong with them. They may be re-triggered with primary school memories of popular in-group girls who excluded them or taunts hurled across the playground.

2. numbness: They work even harder, and trudge on.

3. exhaustion: They may dread going to work, and worry about their reputation and career being eroded. They find it increasingly difficult to ‘switch off’ and worry after hours. They lose their work satisfaction, and struggle to manage their workload.

4. Cynicism: They feel hurt and betrayed. They drag themselves through their work day and ruminate each night. Their creativity and joy is compromised.

My concern led to my writing a book where I identified 8 types of bitches and methods for well mannered, non-gamey women to cope with managers, colleagues, or staff.

Read more, visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-btches/201302/is-there-bitch-in-your-workplace


By Ludacris “Move Bitch Get Out Da Way”

A billion shattered pieces

Taken for granted and taken advantage… what have I done? I am generous because that’s my nature…. I wanted to give a treat. What for? None of my good deeds were appreciated. So, what’s with the party? I gave a treat to myself…. pampering myself with vanity! Going back and back to the handsome stylist! I still have my charm for he gave me a discount😘😍. No need for blow out! No one remembers anyway!!!

My cake disappeared!!! Where is it? Never mind, as long as I do my best in all things I do. Never lose energy— the years keep increasing but the spirit won’t fade. I will remain to be good because that’s who I am. Even if I am unseen and unappreciated, I will keep my good works. Thank you dear God for giving the opportunities to improve my skills and share to others.

I am heartbroken today. My DIY, presents and all meant nothing— but I am not the bad person. It is a blast!!! A billion shattered pieces, my heart was blown out!!! So, I have to double my prayers, sing more and zumba for an hour!!!

I won’t be 18 again, Papa!!!

Papa, I hope we never ended this way. I was stold that your spirit allegedly saved me when I almost my life. After I was thoroughly scanned, I called out for you. Despite, my badly shaped body, I only didn’t feel your presence but I saw your silhouette at the corner of my half-opened eyes. Whatever I perceived, I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to add-on to the drama. Should I be glad that it happened? Should I be thankful because I won’t reach this far if I missed that chance? Yet, what’s the worth of it all?

Hey, in a very far memory… thank you for insisting that I should celebrate my 18th birthday. Thank you for the serenade, the cake, food and new outfit. I didn’t how special it was until all the guests of that day dissolved with time. Didn’t I wish then for what is now to happen? Today was just the future of my past. What did my 18 year self perceived and wished then? Of course, knowing my shallow, I should had wished for the obvious like success, good health and love. I was surrounded with people who adored, cared and valued me that I just danced with the music and enjoyed every moment because in my youth my optimism was towering, my laughter was the loudest and my energy was unending. Now, everything was a fragment of the old good days.

I am glad when I was 18 there was no social media because I didn’t need filter and posed naked to get likes and gained popularity. No IG needed for people to appreciate me. I never needed FB to get the interests of others on me. I’m glad that I am not born in the time of cyber illusion for I needed not to fake myself to gain friends for being true to myself only did matter.

I won’t be 18 again, Papa. No more lame wishes. Yet, I wish to have the strength and sanity to go on with my strive not only to be good but virtuous. I wish that my good deeds are remembered because I did what I did with my heart, not for a praise but out of my goodwill. Hopefully, I am not only seen and judged because of my little flaws but I should with my good intentions. I hope that being late wasn’t only the measurement of my commitment, performance and skills. I wish to be appreciated rather than discriminated. I hope pressing unknowingly wasn’t a big deal for I gave and did more than what I could receive.

Papa, you were right that I didn’t need to put effort to be good because it’s always been a part of me. In case, people take me for granted, I am just grateful at least I am given the chance to show that to others. I am not perfect but with no doubts in my heart, I firmly believe that there’s someone Divine who is watching for my welfare. God is good all the time!

With God all things are possible!!! Another year added is a miracle! I am forever young in spirit same as I used to be when I was 18!

Baby Boy

I can’t sleep right now, so end up writing this to drain out the energy of my rejuvenated heart. Soon is soon and it is never a question of when.

Let’s pretend you’ve heard me and you are there somewhere listening attentively. Today, I left from work very late around 6 plus. I rushed for I feared being locked up again and again. Then, I needed to rush because I promised to help tidying up the prayer space that will be used for this Saturday’s session (and onwards until November).

Before, I used to receive the applause and this time all the question marks are floating— brought to you by…. Still I did what I am doing because it was the benefit of the majority, not the glory of a few. Here, the one relaxing and forgetting the responsibilities turned out to be the victim of the situation. Bravo! A role perfectly played…. Hand over the Grammys!!!

Do I have to make excuses to my failures to protect my rice bowl? Is it all about the act in order to survive? Charles Darwin said, ‘survival of the fittest’. Many religious leaders said, “survival of the most faithful.” Which is which? I have to be both.

I don’t know how to work SMART. Baby, I am the stupidest with all of these because output matters to me! Ratio is the top priority for me, the concern is the majority, not the minority. Oops! No more talking for my words will be against me! Pharisees rule!!!!

Baby, it was the longest embrace and the most beautiful shoutout of my name. It felt so beautiful that I wished not to let go. Remember what I told you? I said, “I’ll do everything for you.” It was truly heartfelt, so don’t perish anymore. Come back safely and remain as the most gorgeous of them all!!!

Baby boy, it’s a tough life to love. I did awful unconscious mistake. Yet, my I-don’t-know-if-I-called-or-not may be disgusting, it was after all an innocent and unintentional blunder and it won’t bring me to hell. Should I confess for it? Which is greater sins people pulling others down or my accidental ring? I didn’t steal nor cheat… was it my itchy fingers? My absentmindedness? Or Paranormal??? Not those spooky stuff!!! I easily get scared (besides, I’m always home alone) Now, I’m putting my lights on. I don’t feel like sleeping at all! No real life ghost stories for me, please…

I did my share of good deeds and such minute error, the whatever spirit put me into wouldn’t erase the fact that I am truthful in all my actions. If my faults are seen, hopefully my good gestures will be remembered too.

Baby, I am not perfect but I don’t use my phone 24 hours. I don’t even bother about social messaging at home. It’s quite upsetting to cause such inconvenience coz I am not a mobile device addict. Whatever put me into this situation, it’s frustrating. It’s sad but it’s alright for I know the truth. Just kill ’em with kindness😇❤️ After all, the truth will always prevail!!!

Baby, thanks for existing there!!! Off to go now because I am going to see you again in our rendezvous❤️😘❣️ Did you hear what I yelled out!!! 14344.! It sounds corny and old but it’s true… remain the same and unchanging. Did you hear me? Can you hear me? Will you hear me? Please, listen carefully. LISTEN!!!

One of You

Are we going to look somewhere else? I am still widely awake at this time still deeply concerned of your welfare and wondering of your whereabouts. Personally, I am contented and comfortable of who I am. Despite of the good sleep and rest, part of me is searching for you. Do you think that I am that dumb or naive not to be truly aware of things going on around me?

Is it a sin to envy love blossoming in front of me? It’s been awhile since I am the spectator of the show, always reserving the front seat. Nonetheless, in my heart deepest desire, I wanted to play the role too. Isn’that too much to ask?

You have multiple versions of yourself, and for most instances difficult to catvh, You are one carefree spirit who enjoys exploring the world and captures every scenery with the lens. On the other hand, I am the quiet and timid me who rather stays foot and sketch and write to express the other side of me. Well, if you only looked closer and paid attention, you should have heard what until now still remained unsaid.

Nonetheless, there are so many sides of you… whichever and whoever you’ll pick… I hope that I can keep one of you who isn’t blinded by the sights of the world and unafraid whatever others will say. Certainly, there’s one of you who is definitely parallel to mine… tired of wishing and dreaming… aren’t we?

May these words fly to wherever you are and be delivered directly to your heart. In this unexpected twist of fate, what we chose to ignore and reject, is what truly matter… It has the answer that none of our friends and people who used to be significant hold.

I hope you’ve seen and known…

I EXIST.

I’m for real.

*Artwork was manually drawn on the iPad (for the first time and not that easy) using Picsart app.

Written By God

I was told that I wouldn’t get anyone because I AM SLOW.

Another one said, “FAKE YOURSELF, to be true is a lie.”

I was mocked because of my age, “no hope for you’re too old.”

Indeed, I am slow because PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

It is least understood but IT TRULY PAYS TO WAIT IN GOD’s TIME.

No need to fool others, this is not a masquerade. I AM WHO I AM!

Despite my loud voice, I am the sweetest, most thoughtful and caring!

No complaints! I am always more than good enough… (you know—)

Come on, only our numbers increase each year.

Remember the flesh will wrinkle but our souls won’t grow old.

Age doesn’t matter as long as your happy and healthy.

Keep fit, pamper yourself and find joy in little things.

No worries at all for I trust the author of my life.

Each morning I am grateful for I still hold you in my heart.

Walking all by myself in the church yesterday, the writings caught my eyes.

My Almighty, sometimes You know how tease somehow.

Never paid attention at those names which existed before you and I.

God has His indirect ways of sending His message to us.

May we listen with our hearts and won’t be lost in our human ways.

Before I left I uttered my silent prayers dedicated to a gorgeous you.

We have so many contradictions but will we question what is WRITTEN BY GOD.

Make the most of everything, grab all the chances for we OWE IT TO HIM.

One day, You’ll fully know that SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOTHING WITH GOD.

There are instances when what is written on the wall online isn’t authentic.

A brief IG story only conceal emptiness and cry for attention.

Don’t be deceived by the virtual illusions or your bound to be UNTRUE.

God is the greatest author, what He has written brings no doubt but lasting joy.

Hence, as you go on with the festivity, do things in moderation and be watchful.

If something goes wrong and out of control, trust in the Divine.

I wish to grow wings to be always there for you.

Enjoy the fountain of youth for you only live once! YOLO!!!

My Polaris

When the world is drifting to another realm

Nameless souls floating at the cloudless sky

Dancing with the constellation at night time

Many of those moments, we’ve been together

Our spirits united waltzing somewhere endlessly

No discrimination nor judgement truly matters

Rejoicing to the songs composed by the Divine

It is never over, keep it up! Not giving up!

Brave hearts not indulging to temptations

Don’t get lost for I am the compass in your heart

Find me nearby and even from a distance

We are not apart for you’re shining the brightest

You’re my Polaris, I will find my way to you

The wise men managed to be on the right track

The Northern star brought them to the Saviour

My Polaris, I’m not just falling for your my light!

No butterflies in the stomachs, thy will be done!

No evil winds blowing for the angels on guard

Thanks isn’t a hard word, I mean everything I said

I am one unknown midget but with a gigantic heart!

Among those glittering some falsely above your head

I’m the one true & most dazzling for I’m your Polaris too!!!

(A weird narcissistic mobile digital artwork of myself using PicsArt app. My aim was to produce the classic newspaper stencil black and white print. Well, fail or not, it was fun and worth trying😁😂)

To the Ends of the Earth❤️❣️

Welcome to the universe whereby you are only remembered by your faults and flaws, not by your contributions and deeds. Some people only cared for status and source of living that it would never matter to pull stranger’s down. Well, for some work is just simply a job but for me it’s a gift from God whereby I am given the opportunity to share my skills and be there for others. I may not rooted from this land but I know too well I value and treasure every single creation surrounding me. Likewise, the saddest reality of the situation, all eyes are closed to all my efforts but find time to bring me down. Yet, I am grateful to be in the situation because I strive to become a better person and humble myself before the Almighty for I can’t make it through the day without Him. Thanks to the strong winds for my roots became tougher and I learned to bend and blend.

Well, the intro is so long and it’s besides the point of this post… Hey, gorgeous! How long will it be? It sounds like forever. Deep inside, I wanted to keep in touch. At the back of head a voice stating, ‘come on, don’t be such a nuisance!’ Absolutely, you’ll have more than a great time! You’re one of a kind, full of energy, Mr Fahrenheit…

Every time I am there, my silent wish is a hope that you’ve at least seen me or take a glimpse of me same as you stare at them on social media and even in actual places. After the strings of my inferiority and insecurities, I just embraced the fact that being the unknown is alright for I cannot cage or chase a bird when it chooses to be free in the wild.

You don’t have to see my kindness for I am not pretending to get the approval or be noticed. I hope there are days, I am able to show that you’re indeed special. For such brief moment, thank you for staying just a little bit to help out. You needed to rush, excitements were painted all over your face. I understand and not feeling bad at all because you’re happiness do matter.

As I was contemplating, your gorgeousness bugging me and it gave a little chill that pinched my heart. Perhaps, the ones who crossed paths with me in the past were partly right that I was unwilling and selfish. I put walls and restrictions for I never fully comprehended with the topic of love for I am only good on writing about it.

Is this my karma? The loving God I know doesn’t punish His obedient follower. In a dream, unknown voice echoing my room with a big question, “what can you do, your pen has no voice? In this era, nobody reads and bothers. Wasted words and promises thrown and shown to nothingness”.

I woke up mumbling to myself, ‘to the ends of the earth.’ (that was my answer) All of them are youthful, lovely, sexy and stunning. How many will remain the same when situation turns sour? Young girls will follow you all around and can seduce by attracting your manly weakness. When they grow older, will the call of the flesh is enough reason for them to stay.

I don’t know why I am doing what I am doing. I am not sure why I reacted in such manner in certain situations. I will never understand what I am doing. All I know that at the ends of the earth, I am willing to be there for you just to see you the happiest and for you to feel my love.

So many things to write… but I am exhausted now. Good night, gorgeous! See you in my dreams, all over again (where you feel free to be naughty)!!!

Just a little kiss will do

Look at you, so strong and confident

Definitely gorgeoes and gorgeous

You’re so heavenly and divine

You’re sweet! Can I taste your wine?

The stars and moon are glistening

Below are the angels singing for you

A candlelight dinner for the two of us

After a wonderful cinematic experience

Let’s tango if you msy, all night long

I waited patiently wiith a honest heart

Running after you on a foggy day

You should have seen my truthfulness

Always here, full of love and hope

You know, just a lttle kiss will do

I’m Falling😍😘😻❤️😇

No social media for me, not because I am anti-fan nor I have zero friends. Well, it’s blessing in disguise that FB, IG, Twitter, Snapchat and many to mention are not the center of my universe. . Besides, there are many things I managed to accomplish rather than spending my time prying on others’ lives… My life has no filter and non-fake.

My Saturday spent repairing and washing my clothes. I had a productive day!!!

While singing and listening to those romantic love songs. you crossed my mind coz I’M FALLING!❤️😘😍❤️

(Too bad, you don’t know…)

https://youtu.be/iPot3IZuJq8

By Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper “Shallow”

My Lullaby, Solely Yours 😄❤️🎵🎶🤒

Are you okay? Obviously not

So many tasks but willing to help

Not minding the extra weight

I pity and care, extending a hand

Do you have anything to eat?

Finding out your love sickness

Like a death sentence and my end

Hey, gorgeous! You just don’t know

My heart in illness too, where are you?

I can’t get you out from my head!

Worrying so much for your well-being

If only I can do more rather than be here

To alleviate my distress, I sing and pray

My voice doesn’t sound like an angel

May my melody reaches your bed

Gorgeous, my lullaby, solely yours

The song from my heart, composed by my soul

Take care, my love virus has healing power

By Jay Chou “Silence” 安靜 An jing

我真的沒有天份 / wo zhen de mei you tian fen / I really do not have the talent
安靜的沒這麼快 / an jing de mei zhe me kuai / To be silent this fast

是因為我太愛你 / shi yin wei wo tai ai ni / It is because I love you too much

Dead Butterflies

My stupid blunder hit me again

Doing things instantly imperfectly

Drowned in my disappointments

How could I let myself at stake again?

I ran to the lovely garden in the past

So many butterflies following me around

Where are they when I’m out of my dream?

I ended in the morgue of my sorrow

The one I desire was with someone

Gone for very long beside another

The rendezvous was a graveyard

You’re so gorgeous, I left dying inside

No appetite for lunch, not my day

Too bad for me, all my butterflies perished

Finishing my drink, reviving my self-esteem

God is good and great, all the time!

Not Today Satan 👿

Honestly, after reading the message clearly, my defensive nature took over me. My pride skyrocketed to the point my brain said ‘slap whoever with your grades!’ Too bad, I am a changed woman now instead of giving in to the character assassination, I was humbly apologetic for my stupidity due to my nonsense misunderstanding. What I thought was no big deal was others way of destroying me. I was sorry because I didn’t want to disappoint those people who had high respect and trust on me.

I was told that we worked for the glory of God. Now for what they were doing to me would God do the same? I was told to be Jesus to others… please, the Jesus I knew wouldn’t do the same. The God and Jesus I believe in will never do such shallow moves.

Look at me, I am already old but I am wearing high heels! I wore fancy cheap clothes and on sale bags!!! I have thick voice that sounded angry and unintentionally noisy. Who would believe over someone who is good in talking and the opposite? I am left in the dark and my music comfort me.

One child told me today, ‘I am very excited to come here!’ The joys of those children reminded me of the reason why I chose to stay. Unstained innocence of those little cherubim took me for awhile to the silent hell that Satan’s cunning minion is slowly building.

Not today Satan! You can convince the higher authorities in destroying me to cover your failures and messy tracks. I hope you have a joyous life because I know that I am. (Just contented with my silent affection to my gorgeous)

It has arrived! It is not yet the 9th. My birthday present was on sale. So, I grabbed the opportunity instantly. I didn’t expect it would deliver very fast!!!! Thank you Lord for the 78% sale because I was able to buyers myself my birthday present. Happy birthday to me!!! Hallelujah that I made lively and lovely!!! It doesn’t matter that I age! Besides, why will number worry me!!!

See, Satan! Not today!!! Better try your luck tomorrow.

When the devil turned out to be me😂 😝 😆 LOL

My Vanity 2.0 (No Self-ie Control)

Lame Friday… boring to the max… I put make-up on even if I am not going out. Then, took so many selfies and filtered with Meitu app. Well, congrats to my unnatural beauty!!! The wannabe Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian side of me.

Warning: Selfie isn’t good to our health! Self-control at times!!!

BAD EFFECTS OF SELFIE

from Lifehack.org (by Robert Locke, https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/why-selfies-more-harm-than-good.html)
1. Selfies create privacy risks.
2. Selfies can cause an addiction.
3. Selfies can damage real relationships.
4. Selfies place too much emphasis on physical appearance.
From netdoctor.co.uk By k

Taking too many selfies could be bad for your health, according to research

‘Selfitis’ could affect your mental health, according to scientists. 

Are you obsessed with taking selfies? Well, according to science, you could be suffering from ‘selfitis’ – a genuine ‘psychological complex’ that seriously affects your mental health. (Read more in https://www.google.com.sg/amp/s/www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/news/amp29406/taking-selfies-health-risk/)

SELFIE WRIST

Growing Number Of ‘Selfie Wrist’ Injuries Diagnosed, Doctor Says

(Find out more, https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/12/22/selfie-wrist-injuries-doctor-says/)

December 22, 2018 at 12:51 pm

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – When it comes to taking selfies, it’s all in the wrist according to one doctor.

A San Francisco physician said he’s seeing a rise in the injury known as “selfie wrist.”

Dr. Levi Harrison explained that the condition is caused by hyper-flexing your wrist inwards to capture the perfect selfie angle.

Others medical professionals believe it’s caused by holding devices for too long in one position without moving.

“Selfie wrist” can reportedly cause numbness and a tingling sensation that people feel in their fingers and wrists.

ALMOST 10 YEARS AGO… THIS was ME…

(photo taken last June 2010)

My Whisper to the Wind

Isn’t it obvious in my eyes?

Can you even really tell?

Am I expert in concealing?

My body languages may lie

For I’m afraid how to deal

Will you believe me at all

My heart wants to yell

What my lips can’t tell

This is never wrong

But I don’t know what’s right

Frozen in my liberty

I don’t want to scare you

So, here I am dreaming of you

I hope one day I can say

For now I let it out to the air

My whisper to the wind

Can you be mine, gorgeous?

Will you listen to the truth?

Please don’t be disgusted at me

Stop being annoyed

I mean no harm, only care

Don’t feel bad if I feel this way

Take care always and keep safe

No one can replace you…

How long will it take to wait?

For no one can replace you

You’re always in my heart, gorgeous

Everyone ignored but you did get it

My heart is still shouting for u till now

If only you can see the sadness of my smile

One morning you were not back

Forgot to wake up and didn’t see you

I missed your annoyingness sweetness

But I am glad you’re back and lively

I will wait in the name of the love

For, you’re always the most gorgeous

My heart cries only your name…

For NO ONE CAN REPLACE U

“In the Name of Love” by Martin Garrix and Bebe Rexha

I’m As Delicate As You

INSULTED that was it all about

Misconception: NOT IN BAD MOOD

Was I a fly or a mosquito?

Shoo away! Not an animal!

I’m a woman, couldn’t you see?

Why must be treated that way?

Don’t have contagious disease

Not disturbing nor stalking

I thought that I saw a friend

Was being a friend had location?

Refresh your memory, please

Didn’t I help you with that thing

Not yours but you did for others?

Did I share a little of mine?

Concerned for skipping meal

The ridicule was on me again

Ignoring the body shaming

All about the fun not the pain

I was there blindly, unintenionally

Didn’t you went ahead of time?

Out of nowhere, you appeared

Coincidence, wasn’t it?

I am as delicate as others!

At times, be considerate too

Gorgeous, I’m as delicate as you!!!

You don’t know me OUT THERE

So, I get used to not existing

For the one who is unknown

Pure and true, LOVES U THE MOST!!!

PS TOO LITTLE CONTRIBUTION….

DON’T YOU KNOW, I PAID IT ALL!!!

Wherever I am and wherever I go

My friends are my friends

There’s a joy in meeting any anywhere

Thank you for spoiling my good tidings!

(People across the globe have different beliefs, culture and values. A woman treated as awful as such is considered as the enemy and eye sore to the society for various reason such as: the invidual has no proper hygiene, degrading morals or low dignity, perform evil practices, with obviouss skin diseases like leprosy, and suspected or diagnosed with HIV and other contagious diseases? Which was which? I was made to feel have everything. ALL IN!!!)

By Taylor Swift “Delicate”

It Actually Hurts

Of all album and concert, out of nowhere… don’t remind me. I paused for awhile and concealed my embarrassment. I am not that obvious… the Best Actress Award always goes to me!

I don’t want to talk anymore because I might lost my composure … humiliating myself again and again… Let’s keep ourselves occupied. Yesterday, gorgeous it actually hurts and even that out of nowhere gal. Don’t open the door!

On the 12th Day of Christmas—

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 12 great men and many more!

Today was the blessing and opening of the new Catechetical year by Archbishop William Goh. In this day also we celebrate Epiphany Sunday.

The three wise men saw the child who didn’t only conquer history but saved mankind through His death. Jesus proved to everyone that one man could make a difference….

Dear Jesus, I have no bulk of riches to offer you. I may not among those wise men. As a woman, I am bound to my flaws and vulnerability. However, my weaknesses will never be my hindrance to serve you. Thanks for the opportunities to serve because through it, I pondered that I am gift to many and I am indeed not bad as a person. Through serving you, I shared my God-given skills, time, faith and love.

Thank you for always reminding me that I am a beautiful person. No matter how people will bring me down, I can still stand still and put my head up high. Aside from that, I won’t be singing “All By Myself” because with you I know that I won’t journey alone. I am so grateful for this day because the brightest star shines in me too for I made so many people happy. Gorgeous, you’re of no exception❤️😇❣️❣️😘