Recycle Bin Emptied

Life doesn’t keep scores

Whether I win or lose

I did carve you within

Words in my sleep were right

Time to tidy up the mess

Get rid of all the memories!

***

Put my efforts to my pieces

Used to inspire my art

That turned as my trash

None was meant to hurt

My indirect vengeance

A scheme unplanned

***

I want to draw another

The scars left behind

My tragedy and fear

Can’t paint the same

The portraits needed to go

Soft copies must be deleted

My Recycle Bin emptied

Thanks for all the pains

I’m braver & stronger now!!!

Can I paint someone new?

Certainly, got the courage!

Am I allowed to do so?

God, all I wanted is to share

To give my all and love too!

I know that I can. I will!

For there’ll be one man

He’ll treasure the portraits

Making him proud too!

By Grant Gustin “Running Home to You”

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10,000 Reasons

A morning of prayer and thanksgiving… and farewell to a great leader.

I’m thankful for all my blessings and the good things that happened in my life. I am too grateful, so I also gave thanks to the people who helped me even if I am difficult and distant.

I’ll worship Your holy name

You’re rich in love

And You’re slow to anger

Your name is great

And Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness

I will keep on singing

10, 000 Reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, oh my soul

By Matt Redman “10,000 Reasons”

Seize the Day!

My cough kept me awake from time to time from nighttime till dawn. When I already slept soundly, I was awakened by a tremendous sound of continuous thunders. It frightened me even more knowing that I am left alone in the house, uncle and aunty went for a trip overseas for three days now. Due to lightning, there was a power trip. Hence, all lights went off! I’M SUCH A SCARY CAT!!! I’m afraid of the dark and thunder, plus no one was there. I initially panicked, dropped my phone facedown and broke its screen protector (I just replaced it 2 weeks ago). ‘Trust in Jesus, trust in Jesus!’ I kept reminding myself.

What a heavy rain! High heels not for today! At work, I thought that I’m free from teaching and I could do other tasks instead. Besides, I already offered to assist. Yet, another class was waiting. I couldn’t shortchange the kids and tell them that I have nothing to teach. Thus, despite my cough, I managed to deliver the lessons in between my barking. Then, when I was about to eat my free lunch at the canteen, another class came inside the com lab. I thought no more lessons for today! Yet, this is my last day with these kids. Next year, they’ll be on another level and they won’t be in my class again. Why not seize the day and give them something to remember? So, I did what I could by giving them an interesting lesson and gave out prizes afterwards.

I missed the free lunch. Well, it was alright since I did my part in my responsibilities. Nevertheless, I’m grateful to my friend for he gave me the burger that was given to him. So, I didn’t spend anything for lunch after all! Thanks❤️🙏🏻

By Spongecola “Bahaghari”

11.11: Farewell My Angels

I told myself I wouldn’t love or be involved again.  I’d rather hide in my cave and be the couch potato queen.  Live an unhealthy lifestyle and grow fat, dressed badly walking on ballerina shoes; and don’t even bother to find out my purpose.  Yet, love has many forms!

I claimed not needing anyone for I am contented with the company of myself.  When I left home, I slammed the door to shut everyone out in my life.  Perhaps, there was an erroneous choice I once made that dragged me to hell because I thought it was what I needed and wanted at the moment of my anxieties and frustrations.

Hey, Lord! Thanks for Your saving grace that opened my eyes to the essential of my existence.  When You brought me to where I truly belonged,  I slowly accepted my reality and learned to trust in Your plans. Everything didn’t come instantaneously, the process took awhile. Indeed, I was truly a slow learner. So, that was Your way of teaching me to be more understanding and patient as a person for others.  I am totally imperfect and I still need to work on my flaws over difficult people who are slaves of their egos.

I told You, I couldn’t.  Didn’t I? Not the centerstage again, I am told that it wasn’t my cup of tea.  What did I know about children? What else I could say about You? So, on my third year in service, You gave me children under my wings.  Whaaaat??? A new challenge and different responsibilities….

In the midst of this year, the circumstances of the situation, almost took me away from those angels.  Remember what I said to You, ‘there’s no taking back with what You have given and for sure You won’t allow Your sheep unaided.’

You answered me in a dream.  I dreamt of this day except in that dream I brought them ice cream but all my friend and I brought them were boxes of pizza.  Well, when you fed children, they could be perfectly well-behaved.  

Well, these children were my angels in desperate times.  In that time, when I was swallowed by the whale of darkness, God gave me these angels to assure me that nothing was impossible in Him. 

 I am always misunderstood. I admit when my heart and pride are pierced, my tongue is pulled down. Then, I’m left speechless and I’d rather be isolated.  I really don’t know how to deal with my anger.  I wish that I could shout and scold people, or pretend that I am cool with everything even if I am not.

It wasn’t a good day yesterday.  My body gave up on me.  I was exhausted but I pushed myself to keep kicking for I took my responsibilities seriously.  The people around me made me feel that being a goody two shoes was incorrect and a big joke.  

Thank you my angels for being restless at the beginning but with all the words you said, I am reminded that I introduced you to Jesus in a different way, which made you love and trust Him even more.  

I am not good in getting angry and expressing myself.  I don’t know how to deal with anger.  It only stressed me out that made me withdrawn from others.  I don’t even know how to nag or scold…. All I can do is cry… But, despite my tears, I can still face the world bravely with an ageless bright smile.

Thanks to you my angels for making me feel good and teaching me to love and be true to my commitment.  Thank you also for showing me to love Jesus even more. Thus, I didn’t let rain nor my sickness stopped me to be with you for the last time.  I hope I could stop you from growing and flapping your wings to the world because I feared the tendency that one of you may be like Anakin Skywalker who grew to become the Darth Vader.  Yet, you have to fly on your own to spread Jesus’ love.

Our journey in faith isn’t over.  Keep moving forward with confidence in Jesus.  Don’t be like the foolish bridesmaids but be like the wise ones who always had oil in their lamps.  Farewell my angels, till we meet again!

It’s My Birthday! 18 Again!

I’m the debutante today for the second time!  I wore a navy blue cocktail dress with a flower wreath on my head.  It felt good to be young again!  (I looked more confident and prettier this time compared to my actual 18th birthday.  It’s what you call growing old gracefully).

I had fun and enjoyed the whole celebration.  All hardwork paid off!


I just didn’t enjoy dressing up!  But I also did my part in making the whole presentation a success.


Thanks to all my groupmates and friends for all their contributions.  I’m grateful to all these very talented and skillful ladies!  


I woke up early to prepare all the stuff needed.  My friends were there to help me and they brought all the tasty food too!  Wow, it’s teamwork as it’s finest!  Thanks to our teacher, Ms Anabelle for everything she shared and taught us!  I totally don’t have confidence in baking for I thought it is tough to make all those cakes, breads and other pastries.  Thanks to this course, I learned a new skill and discovered that baking isn’t that tough at all!  The course has ended but I’m looking forward for more opportunities to bake more and more…

In Darkness there’s Light

Insulted. Absolutely! Definitely!

Are we made of plastics?

So nice and friendly inside 

Outside, go ahead avoid me!

Embarrassed of my age?

Shame on you for judging me!

I am not only made of numbers 

My heart is forever young

Always appreciating little pleasures

My soul will never age in God

For it is not restricted to time 

I know you can’t see me at all

For you were not even looking

It’s alright if you can’t appreciate 

I’ll always remain to be true to myself 

The birthday bash and presents

I won’t waste them on someone 

Who never cared and bothered 

Besides, you’ll receive a lot from many

So you won’t notice if I won’t give my gifts

If only you knew and spend that day with me

You’ll be the happiest, the best day ever!

I hope it makes your spirit high

Humiliating and poking your jokes on me

Of course, young girls are plenty 

If you only knew and find it within

No one will ever love you same way as I can

You don’t know, you never looked closely!

In darkness I hid, strolling unseen

Dressed in white, did I become a ghost?

In darkness, I found my serenity

No matter how many times you ridicule me

The light within will always be on fire

By Kesha “Girl on Fire”

The Last Message

In the middle of all the ridicules and humiliations, when I’m stuck in the reality where I don’t matter and exist anymore.  The Devil surely did a good job in feeding me with all the lies.  Yet, in my defence, the angels made me remember those wonderful memories that I kept only to myself.

Yeah, it was the longest-running infatuation but it began beautifully and how I described it was my favourite lines of all time.

Audrey Hepburn

“It was one boring lesson and I was definitely hungry.  My teacher didn’t only look like a goat but he sounded like one.  I felt like sleeping in class.  So, to control myself from falling asleep, I looked around to keep my drowsy eyes occupied.  Then, at that unexpected moment, you trapped my sight with your presence.  I was glued to you, despite of the fact that your friend was much cuter.  You were goofing around on the stairs not so far from where I was.  I couldn’t take my eyes off because you had the loveliest smile that I ever seen.  At that very instant, the world stopped rotating and the background froze.  It felt that it was only both of us existed in the world, and everyone’s existence dissolved and blurred from that scene.  Then, the only sound I heard was the melody from the piano.  There was only you and I, and I could hear the music looping in my heart.”

We were children back then, what did I know?  All I am determined to achieve was to create a name for myself.  When that time would happen, I wouldn’t tremble anymore when you would be there.  After all, you were the only man that I ever knew who completed my checklist for the ideal guy.  I admit that I was not that loyal, I played along with the options.  However, you were always the number one and the best.  Yet, you were almost perfect that made everything about you scary.  Suddenly, you were gone, Cleopatra was reborn and the attention I got was not really that pleasing at times.

I was an inferior teenage girl.  But, in college I was overconfident and everything was so easy to me.  I am always selected and lots of people wanted to be my friends.  I became a part of many things.  Perhaps, in school and my community, I etched a name for myself.

After I received my degree’s cert, you were the first one I searched.  I never told anyone but you were the only one I dared and put effort to reach out.  Well, I had my resources.  If I really paid attention to it, I could nominate myself as the best stalker.  Nonetheless, why should I be one?  That was the prime of my teens, I had the time of my life and I always enjoyed the little pleasures and suprises the world could offer.  In other words, I was too busy that I couldn’t spare a second in stalking you.  Sorry to disappoint your expectations but my obsession never led me to such extremes. Anyway, I only did whatever I did out of my impulsiveness because I thought at that point, I am already valiant enough because I already made it in college.

What they didn’t know, for a brief time, we exchanged messages and dropped calls.  When I heard your voice after five years, it was a disbelief that it made me awake for the entire night.  My apologies to those guys who thought I was into them because the truth was I only danced along with the music of my youth.

Several random messages were exchanged between us.  Suddenly, you asked me to come to the place where you were playing pool.  I refused but you insisted.  I wanted to be there but I couldn’t.  I am still not your equal.  My fears were greater than my feelings.  Plus, I couldn’t violate my dignity and pride. I convinced myself that it was not time yet.  Not yet.

I had my chance but I blew it because I had nothing to prove to you and everyone else.  I still couldn’t draw same as you could.  In addition, I still couldn’t prove myself that I deserved that seat in my class and I belonged in that place where we found one another… I’m not just the lucky one, I belonged too!

Prior to deleting your mobile number.  I used my creativity in writing to compose the last message I sent to you…

“It doesn’t matter.  Actually, nothing matters at all.  As long as I know that same sun and moon shine above our heads, I will always be fine.  May they watch over you and won’t fail to tell you that I truly cared even from a distance.”

MESSAGE SENT.  NUMBER DELETED.

contact deleted

Perhaps, I was almost there but my heart couldn’t overthrow the power of my mind.  My brain assured me that I chose correctly because following my heart would probably direct me to ruins.  Hence, I put an end to that infatuation for it was merely nothing but the invention of a dreamy and hopeless teenage girl.  No happily-ever-after ending.  It was the finale of my choice.

If I accidentally dropped by and saw you for the last time in your special day, please bear in mind that what never began was obviously over.  After that day, the world never stopped anymore and the music never played again.  I was like a walking dead incapable of feeling real affection and still scared of showing my true feelings.  Indeed, I am only good at hiding and writing. After all, they don’t really see the real me…

By Anne Hathaway “Somebody to Love” (OST Ella Enchanted)

 

The Broken-Hearted Girl

After all the tears and the drama

There is still a huge hole in her heart

The escaped souls from hell tempting her to curse

Yet, her gloominess will never spoil her pure soul

Her wrath is temporary, it will soon go away

Even if her kindness & generosity are ignored,

She remains true from the start till the end

Others’ intentions have question marks

Still she holds on her faith & believe in miracles

***

It is one of  the so many episodes of real soap opera

She’s not playing the role of the broken-hearted girl

She will never be the loser for she survives it all

She will never raise and wave the white flag of defeat

Try catching her, she’s flying farther than you

It takes a heartless someone to make her dream high

Forever she’ll care for you ‘coz she’s unlike other girls…

X.O. X.O .X.O. X.O .X.O. X.O .X. O.

i’m back to the old place — our dreamland… welcome me back again… thanks for not leaving soon in  that safe place that doesn’t suck —

Written last 12/12/12

By Beyonce “Broken-Hearted Girl”

Where Were You When I was 17?

Marlena asked Jacob Jankowski “where were you when I was 17?”.  The line struck me because I asked myself the same question every night for I’m so smittened with your presence in my dreams.  Even if there were  no scientific connections between dreams and reality still I wanted to believe that such unreal and imaginary moments in my head gave my heart reasons to bounce again as it used to do when I was 17.

Water For Elephants poster

Our story is not similar with Jacob and Marlena for there was no train ride that led us to the miracle of finding love.  Instead, I took an unintentional flight to leave my disgrace behind only to find a bench where I used to frequently see someone with headset and books.  Are you aware that I wasted my time looking for your photograph and I accidentally kept one?   Are you aware that it was so silly of  you and your friend to make fun along the background?  Do you still remember when you were obliged to wait for me?  Do you recall the time when I sent you out of the room twice for you were not welcome inside?  I can still remember that moment I spoke to you and how we shared same sweet smile from a distant.  Maybe you think that I didn’t catch you winking at me twice.  I only pretended that I didn’t see but actually I did.  Yet, all those random events are meaningless because we were never acquainted or became friends. (At that time…)

Dreams are all false, a fool’s perception of a non-existent world. Nonetheless, it is a perfect universe I conquered because it is where I can freely hold your hand and lovingly kiss you. There are no rules and standards, no norms to abide.  It is where we are free as a man and a woman.  If I am seventeen, I will still not talk to you but at least there will be no issues if you become one of my friends.

Perhaps, I don’t want them because I only wish of you even if it is difficult to see you again.

(Actually, few months later, you took courage to speak with me.  Then, we became FB friends and had at least 3 photos of only two of us together.  One event was during the reunion and another was my bday.  We spoke several times and you told me about your future plans.  We had a brief connection but that wasn’t ours to flourish and keep.  For sure this time, you’re no longer 17. Hope to see you again.  I don’t know if you’re that same person I used to know 6 years ago. There are plenty girls out there but there’s no one like me. Miss those days and thanks for not embarrassing me.  Thank you very much for the honesty, respect and admiration).

Published 6 June 2011 

The Final Apple

Four days and three nights Kerygma Retreat in St Francis Xavier Retreat Centre.  I surrendered my phone during the retreat and finally I can use it now.  During the retreat, I met people who didn’t judge me but helped me cope with my internal wounds. Through the sessions, I’ve learned to accept myself, understand and live my faith.  Thank you to the Holy Spirit for the gift of tongue, the language of love between Jesus and I.  

   Each day, all participants are encouraged to get apples with scripture verses.  I took my last apple and told Jesus.  “Lord, thank you for today and this apple is my finale.  This is my answer.”

22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

I believe and I claim it.  In Jesus’ name, let it will be done!

In His Time

Thursday, 💔😭

   I questioned my archangels 

  I doubted my prayers were heard

   Is the Blessed Mother really there?

   Then, I challenged the Almighty 

   And to Jesus, I gave my conditions

   What will I share to those kids

   When my seed was in thorny soil?


Saturday,😇😘🌹

    Before I was inspired to draw

    Before I shared to the children

    Indeed, the rosary is powerful!

   Before I came to the session early

   Perhaps, I couldn’t sleep that night

  Awaken that evening flabbergasted 

   A big sigh, ‘All of YOU heard my heart”

   In Jesus’ ways, He answered 

   Not in my terms but in His time

   Who am to dictate my Saviour?

   In His time, it will be me too… 💑

Sunday.🙏🏻😎🌈☀️

    I thank my archangels and saints

   They heard me and they cared

   O, Blessed Mother forgive me 

    Thanks for giving me all the love

   I thank God for always being there

   My faith and my prayers not wasted

   Thank you Jesus and Your message

   “Patience my child, the time will come

    Don’t stop believing and have faith

   He’ll come around very soon 

  Let him be and he’ll be courageous 

   He’ll clear his head and love wins”

   Alright Jesus, your time be his too!

   

    

Will You Fall from Grace?

Father, I always wonder why there are people who at times misunderstood my purpose? I already accepted the loudness of my voice.  Why can’t others do too?  Should I keep quiet when it’s all about the call of duty?  The truth of the matter is I am insulted every time but I just shake it off because I know for the fact that I mean no harm.

Somebody I used to know from not long ago, told me there was nothing wrong with how I sounded.  Those were the times, when that person put efforts to talk and talk.  Yet, when a chapter ends, take a step to a world whereby there are people who see and only kind to those who are visually acceptable in their standards.  Should I feel bad and hate them?  Should I fall from grace?

Nope, I am not like them.  I don’t care if I am not in their criteria.  What’s the big deal?  I will still prepare what to wear the next day and look good for myself.  It doesn’t matter if others will notice me, as long as I’m happy with what I’m wearing.  I’m comfortable of walking in my skin and no matter how mean they can be, my confidence won’t be subtracted.  It’s not a question of body size, age and nationality.  But, a matter of attitude and how you handle yourself.  
Whatever you do and no matter how you do it, there are always people who’ll criticise and judge you. If people will bring you down and won’t like you, will you fall from grace? No, no, never! I always be who I am.  I will do my best in all I do.  I sing and dance even I don’t know how and I will never be good with any.  I’ll revive my deleted animation channel.  I’ll keep on drawing and learn more skills like baking… I won’t let the ways of the world take away my faith and dreams.  Whatever the millennials will say, what is right is always right.  It can never be wrong.  One day, I’ll be heard and people will actually read this.

Will I fall from grace because of some mean and selective people? Nope, I kill them with kindness.  If there words are getting into my nerves, (at times I’ll get mad a little) I’ll listen to BTS or Got7 and count 1 to 10 until I composed myself.  I can’t dwell on hate.  Life is always beautiful.  I am fun to be with and I still have my humour.  Too bad, it’s all about the loudness when in fact I make sense…

‘Kill ’em with Kindness’ by Selena Gomez

Don’t Wake the Sleeping Dragon

It was only a legend, some old folktales
It was told, her father was the greatest slayer
A bravery known by so many men
There was one unforgettable battle
He slayed an expectant mother
The dragon’s last angry words
“My kind will never be extinct
My son will unknowingly dwell
In the heart of your most beloved
Be warned not to make her weep
The sleeping dragon will rise!”
Her words gave chills into his spine

To the little angel on his arms
He avowed to her a joyful world
A wonderful place with no bitterness 
Before his last breath, he said
“My sweet baby angel, never allow
Sadness to dominate your heart
The pain will pass, be happy always!”

She’s a friendly, kind and jolly girl
Yet, there were witches out there
They took away everything from her
But, she never gave up on hope,
A bright tomorrow of laughter

However, the worst has to come
Abused innocence and kindness
She only wished to purely love
Feelings were taken for granted
And so her wrath was so high
The flames came out of nowhere
A big sounding roar was heard
The dragon within was awakened
And so bloodshed was on the land

The miracle of love put out
The fire of her burning rage
The dragon within is asleep once more
Be warned don’t make her a fool again
If you are not true, go away!
Don’t wake the sleeping dragon
For her fury will be its strength
Stop all the lies & sarcasms
If she’ll keep on crying to bed
The dragon might hear her sorrows
It will escape again and you’ll be sorry!

Published last 19 Oct 2012


by Evanescence “My Immortal”

The Archangels and Me

Today is the feast day of the archangels.  Who are they and what do I know about them?  First, St Michael for me is the valiant one for he defeated Lucifer.  Secondly, St Gabriel for me is the messenger for he announced to Mary and Joseph the birth of Jesus; and told Zachariah the birth of John.  Lastly, St Raphael for me is not only the healer but also the matchmaker who led Tobias to Sarah.  

Who are the archangels to me in my situation at this point?  St Michael is for courage.  St Gabriel is to proclaim the truth.  St Raphael  is to lead the way. 

St Michael make us valiant 

At times, we’re frightened 

Scared to death of rejections

Afraid that our hearts are wrong

St Gabriel speak in our dreams

Tell us everything will be fine

We can’t runaway from God’s plan

It’s time, let His will be done…

St Raphael lead us the path

Help us heal our brokenness 

Whatever paths we’ll take

Guide us to where we belong 

St Michael lend us your strength 

St Gabriel tell us the Divine’s will

St Raphael take away the demons

Almighty Father, Your we’ll be done!

“It might be series of dreams but the voices might be St Gabriel’s.  It was unexplainable, but I saw someone calling me when I had my accident and I was awakened for he called my name.  Then, during the lowest points of my life, St Michael cheered me not to fall in the pit of hell.  I wouldn’t be here.  I was hesitant to give it a try for I was rejected then.  But, I am where I am now thanks to St Raphael.  Thanks to my archangels.  If it’s not too much to ask, another favour again.  Thanks in advance.  This time, I’m ready!!!”

If I’ll Turn Back Time, Will I Let You?

As the song goes, “I’ll never love this way again.”  We always denied it for our egos were larger than the universe. Convincing each other with our lies for the truth was our wreckage.  I didn’t mean to hurt others but due to my blindness, I indirectly did.  Was my obsession, my vengeance? Did I purposely push myself not to be me to make you feel less guilty?  Nobody knew the real story because they were not present in those pages we both scribbled.  We let time erased what was written because we made a choice.

Yet, if we can turn back time, will I open the door for you? Should I ignore your presence for ignoring people is my expertise?  Would I walk away and turn my back? Would I answer your call?  Would I join you for coffee?  Perhaps, the safest way was to escape the pain and the hell within.  Likewise, if I’m going back to that same time and place knowing you would be there, perhaps I would still do the same.

The hurt made me insecure and I felt so little of myself then.  I dealt with that humongous burden all by myself.  Then, to forget and runaway from it, I made a fool of myself.  Did I pretend to like someone I never wanted to convince myself that I already moved forward?  Self-pity and self-blame… I was in my weakest, nobody knew that I wept to sleep….

Still I’ll let it be because after all the destructions within I found God and I am even grateful for all His blessings. Despite what others say, I trust His plan for me. That hell of a pain drew me closer to heaven!  The downfall of my naivety opened my eyes to God’s reality.  The Almighty Father brought His people to save me from messing up with my life.
Yes, there are men who are blinded with what they  see and they’re bound to their standards.  Yet, my Lord sees my all and He knows I am worth having regardless of age, language, weight and belief.  People can be so judgmental, mean and very selfish.  They can unreasonably avoid me for whatever darn reasons… Well, thank you for that pain because I stood firm to who and what I am, not caring at all with what others will say.  My values are tact and I truly believe that God already placed me to where I belonged.  The ridicules will not get into my nerve this time.  Those who are in darkness are always afraid of the light.  They just don’t know the real story.  

No matter how many times I am going to revisit that scene, I would surely repeat same mistakes all over again, since because of that I was lost and God found me.  Then, independently explored what life has to offer.  Also found time in improving my skills and expanding my interests, and in the process acquainted with people who made difference in my life.

  You know who you are for our fates already written with the constellations.  No matter what roads we’ll take and no matter how many women are there, no one beats God’s plan and there’s no other woman like me. You know that very well.

Your Light Next to Mine

I was distracted by a Prince Charming’s smile 

But my instincts proved my dreams to be lies

I couldn’t be swayed by a gigolo’s charms

Not trading my dignity for Hercules’ abs

My God will never give me what isn’t mine

I pray with all my heart everyday

Then, in a place and in that instant

I laid my candle trusting only Him

My prayers were uttered while my heart leaped 

God whispered and there you were

Standing beside me placing your light next to mine

🙏🏻God’s Answer to the Fool’s Prayer


With anger, envy and pride, the fool prayed:

“My God, up in the clouds with the angels and cherubs

Shower me with gold so that in poverty I can esape

Though I don’t sweat at all, grant me the wealth I deserve

In nothingness I suffer, in emptiness I weep all day

Am I equal to my brothers, you owe me what they have?

My desire is for greatness only to stroll empty-handed

Where is justice, my Lord when others have it all?

Lend me the titan’s strength so I can crush my foes

Breaking their bones for their lives are meaningless 

God please listen to my pleas and answer me!” 

—-

God always listen and to the fool He answered:

“My child, above the clouds I behold you on earth

Please take note there’s no gold factory in heaven

Material wealth is gained by ceasing opportunities

Yet, what matters most is what’s within your heart

You and your brothers are created in my image

My child use the talents I gave you and excel

I, your God is just and my blessings are for all

Oh, my child! Have courage, be humble and forgive 

Don’t be a demigod, cherished all my creations!

I, your God always listen.  How about you, my child?”

Anew

Boldness and determination

Falling through and brokenness 

An obsession with tragic finale

Wrong choices, grave sins

Thunderstorms addiction

A taste of bitter cotton candy

***

For when you fall, you arise

Climbing the mystic mountains

Flying high towards victory 

Building wrecked kingdom anew

A fresh start, a new posting

Roses bloom on the 5th of May

Challenges await but I CAN

Meeting others coz I’m over you

Goodbye, my old friend….

Sleep Less

The game of fate

War of the champs

No weakling’s place

One foot backward

Disappear all dreams

Strategies and schemes

Are you greater than God?

Pray hard and fast more

Don’t close your eyes

A blink is your misfortune 

What will you do to win?

Cheaters are widespread 

Indeed, I CAN for I CAN!

I believe in my wits

And I believe in God

God leads the right way

I am here for He wills it

His masterpiece is ME

What’s Behind the Door

I fear of tomorrow 

Scared of the ruins

Beneath my sorrows 

All dreams shattered 

The friends I let go

What’s behind the door?

Is it my misfortune?

Or the fate I detest?

What if behind the door…

Another adventure

A love worth it all!

A hope to hold by

The face of God waiting

Someone shut its door

Another will surely open

What do I know this bad luck

Maybe my lifesaver 

For the worst to come

Forgive Me, Lord coz I can’t Forgive

Will you forgive those who are not sorry?

Will you welcome those who condemn?

Will you choose to love those who loathe you?

Should I apologise for those who wrong me?


Yet, instead of hearing my request

It’s not all about my petitions

For You said “YES!” and Your yes means YES

Thank You for my friends and enemies too

My journey brought me to reconcile

I vow to You for You’re GREAT and I’m small

Thank You for allowing to be in peace

Thank You for opening Your doors

Thank You for loving me more…

God Rescues the Just

My brothers will surely laugh

They are right, aren’t they?

The ridicules and mocking 

Have they grown to appreciate?

Lord in loneliness and fear

It’s a solo fight, prince missing!

No mercy and compassion 

Yet, tonight you showed

Strangers aiding each other

Lost but someone led the way

Stranded, I shared what was mine

The devil told me, doors locked

No heavy rain stopped me

Thank you for letting me in

And I’m joyful to be in your feast


I am so grateful for today

The free food, smiles and friends

Truly you’ll make a way

Even my fears tell me there’s no way

You said today, My Lord Almighty

“You rescue the just from distress”

Thank you and Amen, my King!

Tomorrow will take care of itself

 

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” (Except from Today’s Gospel: Matthew 6:24-34 – Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time)

I pull it off yesterday despite of how tense I was and worried how everything would turn out.  I thought the kids wouldn’t allow me to lead them when we were in the Eucharistic Adoration room but with God’s intervention they obeyed and participated throughout the prayer.  I am grateful there were parents who joined me and kids.  I’m also grateful for my friends who were there to support me.  At the end of our group prayer, one parishioner approached me saying, ‘sister, your prayer is answered because I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit while you prayed’.   Thanks heaven for the assurance.

Today, I celebrated in East Coast my friend’s birthday.  I did try to use the roller blades but for now I don’t have the courage and confidence.  I’ll just give myself some time.  I love the food and I enjoyed the day!  

Found

I was kicked out and boxes piled

Trashes and garbage in the bin

Unwanted or needed toss away!

Oops, did I accidentally let it be!

Baby, forgive me for it’s on me

Unintentional, my foolishness

Yet, how can I ever forget?

Apologies for my carelessness 

Never gave up for your return

When I was not looking 

Surprise! Surprise! Hey there!

I found what I thought I lost

Another Blessed Year

I’m alright with growing old because in each year God blessed me with countless gifts.

I don’t complain that I aged for each year, I accomplished many little things.

I am not ashame of my age because it’s just a number since what matter most are my good deeds.  

I am not afraid with what tomorrow will bring because God is just one call away.

I am happy to be happy because I made and will make more and more people happy with my commitment, dedication, hardwork, love and sincerity.

Thank you God for another year and for picking me up each time I fall!!! Thanks for all the people who cherished and value me❤😘❤



MacDonald’s Quarter pounder for my birthday!!!!


I will not wait for long…

That Moment U Slaughtered Me

That moment u slaughtered me, 

I exclamed ‘I will not teach again!’

I tossed my canvas and brushes

I felt so little of my being

All I composed were nothing

On my mirror, an ugly woman stood

I fell prey to devil’s advocate

Pretending to move forward 

Tried so hard and lost in tears

All you said ‘I’m good…’

You never checked on me

As if all I did meant nothing

That instant, I allowed you to kill me
I gave up but God never surrendered 

It maybe a point of no return

A lot of gold spilled ino the wind

Then, Jesus redeemed me from doom

He said, ‘It’s alright my child!’

He pulled me from the shadows

A lot were calling me ‘teacher!’

‘Job well done!’ they praised

Some said ‘I am the artist!’

Confidently beautiful under the sun

Behold, I can still write this!
Yes, I let you buried the knife

But God pulled it from my chest

You only killed me in that minute

In that instant, you crashed my world

Likewise, you are lesser than God

You had no power to take my skills

There’s always a rainbow after the rain

I forgive you and forgive myself too

You simply said, ‘I’m good’

Thanks God, I’m feeling great!

Always counting my blessings

Not looking back only moving forward

Don’t check on me for my hero is here

My extraordinary prince charming

No more knife but his armor and shield
Thank you very much for breaking my heart

Maybe it’s ME…

Sometimes you want to be not yourself and be someone else to get out from your comfort zone and to prove someone wrong…

Only to realize being who you’re not won’t make you happy at all but a sin with lessons learned. 

Despite of the blunders and downfalls of yesterday, there’s rising up and soaring high.

That feeling of something heavenly sent… God knows! God answers!  He always knows when—

Persevere in Prayer 

A mass was conducted nationwide for the catechists and I’m very blessed to received the blessings from my church’s priest.  Afterwards, was praise and worship with my friends in the ministry.  This year, I’ll take charge.  O Lord, with great powers come great responsibilities.  Let me be your voice and lead me.  Nothing is impossible in You.  My hope this year is for successful and fruitful year in love and in faith.

Nicole’s birthday!!! The whole event ended late.  So, I went straight to my friend’s place for dinner.

Moving On

Got the nerve to scold me after 4 years of earning some cash from me!!! Oh, she only gets the consequence of her lies and witchy-kind of attitude.

I packed 3 extra large boxes to be sent home and moved tons of things by myself.  Good thing the driver of the mover I procured was very helpful and didn’t ask for so much cash or overcharged.


Now, a peace of mind.  No one prying in my room, invading my privacy.  No wrong judgment and evil conclusions.  You didn’t get her nor me.  I felt sorry for you old fat bastard.  You’re nationality and money have no effect on us.  If only your spouse knew… 

Well, God has His plans and it’s for my benefit!  Thanks heaven for the free wifi. Movie marathon from morning till now!  I’m 101% grateful to move out from that controlling freaks’ rules.  I always miss and love my friend and the kind grandfather who once welcomed me in his home.  If grandpa is strong enough, he’ll surely shut the mouths of that couple from hell.

To My 👶 Baby

Baby, I cried today. My heart wanted to explode but I’m glad my friend was there for me.  It was upsetting to be judged as the rudest and most disorganized by a fellow Catholic.  Does they know the definition of being rude?  If they want to talk, why not call?  After all, all matters can be settled at home same as before.  What’s the need of sending so many messages when I was at the party? An elderly man threatening and scolding a young woman… from where I come from baby, all women should be treated equally with understanding and respect regardless of their status in life.  Baby, if you treat other women with disrespect then that’s how badly those who are close to you.  What you do to others what you do them to… What will you feel if others will treat anyone closer to you that way?

My baby, I controlled myself.  I told myself let the course of nature get into them.  I don’t know who is rude the one who is quick in judgement and scold with I own the world attitude?  I paid my rent on time.  If I am messy, it is because I dreamed to start a boutique for my sister and mother’s sake.  They have any idea that my sister left so many things?  I hope money can really make them happy…. Hope to remind them, they’re not getting younger anymore….

It’s Over, a New Chapter Begins 

I lied. I pretended.

I was selfish and mean

I did hurt someone 

God pulled me away

Yet, I wanted to return 

Only unwelcomed, unfriended

Insisting the desires

Belonging to another being

Insane and obsessed

I became who I am not

Running away in tears

Hoping to be rescued 

Pretending again

In isolation and hopelessness

The ridicules and sadness

No one rescued me

Drowning in my tears

Surprisingly, Jesus saves me!

The drama comes to an end

They are happy, aren’t they?

It’s over and it’s my turn now

There’s always hope for the living

I LOVE MY LIFE 

NO ONE CAN TAKE IT FROM ME

HAPPINESS IS MINE

LOVE IS HERE!

A new chapter begins

This time is mine

I am the apple of ones eyes

Spotless Minds

You can delete what’s in the mind but not what’s in the heart ❤️ 

And to forget doesn’t mean you can’t absolutely remember since there are memories that linger within your heart.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Sunshine_of_the_Spotless_Mind

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minds” Love this movie over and over again… you can always take chances in love with no regrets😘😍

The Joke is Finally Over

Say goodbye Joker for your triumph had come to an end.  At last someone did kick your ass for real.  



After several episodes, Luffy won the fight versus Donquixote Doflamingo alias Joker.  Too bad Trafalgar Law was unable to beat him to avenge Corazon.  Well, Luffy did the job of for his sake and the rest of the Dressrosa’s residents.  Well, during this battle some Strawhats crews were missing such as Nami, Brook, Chopper and Sanji. 

See Me Not

Hmp! Little visions can’t behold my existence as I climbed to heavens.  Am I ignored for my I am vertically deprived? Choked and out of air!  For all the days I am dressing down, the unexpected happened.  Hey, did I actually exist!!!

The unflattering and insignificant scene of nothingness.  So, I continued my stroll and whatever brought a bird to another’s nest was none of my business. I am one solitary woman trapped in my cowardness, if only silence could speak.


I knew that I was there and never mattered.  Nonetheless, I am thankful to God that in the web of life I am not entangled to what isn’t.  God has His ways.  He has the master plan.  I pray and dream, trusting God always!

Thank you very much❤️ Looking great as always💪🏻❤️🏋🏻🏆💂🏻‍♀️

The Landlady 

She’s a witch in disguise
A mask of her fake smile
Offering you a place
Be warned for at night
She stirs the potion
To slowly steal your youth


She’s jealous of the maiden
For her man may not say it all
Actions speak louder than words
The admiration in his eyes
Kill her confidence inside
She’ll banished her and the pal
Swallow their beauties and youths
Wrinkled skin, dimmed her core

The landlady welcomes everyone
Don’t be deceived with her lies
She’ll take away your pride
Twisted story and allegations
The mobs will put you in fire
She plays her game pretty well

Every power has its weakness
No evil triumphs over goodness
Where’s the landlady, my prince?
‘Will you still be a landlady
When your man’s woman has it?’
‘Will you still be the landlady
When no one’s renting the space?’

The one once deprived with a home
Residing a mansion she can see
The perfect view from her window
In the loneliness of the asylum
Her laughter reaches her ears
And she responds in silent tears
The reflection of drying aging skin
Dear landlady, too much envy kills
Sickening the mind and heart
Accept and embrace your aging
Judge her not and let her be
Let the young, enjoy their youths!
Dear Lord, bless the landlady
For she lost not only her magic
But the ones she loved the most
Selfishess and obsessiveness
Brought her hell on earth!

Believe with All your Heart

The priest in his sermon said,’if you wanted it don’t give up on asking.  If you get tired or stopped, maybe actually needed it the least.’  Ask and it shall be given.  Knock and it will be opened.  Seek and it shall be found.  

Are you tired my friend??? I am not! How can one man saved the world?  It is through great faith and tremendous love.  Believe and it is yours.  The messages incribed in my dreams, not just the fruits of my slumber but the messages from God.  

The story of prophet Moses in ‘The Prince of Egypt’ is always my favourite Disney movie.  In addition, one of its soundtracks ‘When You Believe’ is my  all-time favourite song.  It’s not about the animation or the tune that made me hooked to them.  But it’s the deeper insights of the film and the inspirational messages of the song… For dreams are real and they do come true… when you believe with all your heart.