“What goes around comes around” and I claimed that this is the part of my life that this line hits me. At the beginning, I almost lost it… I wanted to hide and vanish for the rest of my existence. Questioning the Almighty, ‘why now when it was there then?’ Please, I’m too old for this crap! Didn’t I avow quits… no more… not anymore… This is all the drama and creativity? I never believed and ignored. I lingered for I wanted to play the role of the broken girl coz tragedy sells more than fairy tales.
However, it hurts a little bit. How come some parts of me had this wanting that stirred my emotions only to be paralyzed with fears? So over with usual defense mechanism of not to care and playing tough or acting like a helpless abandoned bird at the corner of trash. Congratulations for I was so over with those tactics! Instead of weeping or pretending, I gave the world my brightest smile… not faking and no more masks…
With all the cold stone heart (exclusively to me only) and obviously the I-don’t-give-a-damn treatment… I learned to find the real me and the goodness I always have. Thanks to this karma chapter of my life, no matter how challenging and discouraging I found my worth. The shadow of inferiorities slowly abandoning my post. Perceiving the light at the end of the tunnel filled with wisdom and optimism. I no longer focus on what I am not but treasure the beauty in me. I received that approval and friendly smiles of two dashing male strangers today. Obviously, I was not hitting on any of them or trying to catch their attentions but I appreciated the friendliness and unspoken appreciations. Like most instances and the usual situations, I would certainly forget their faces. For the truth of the matter, it was not about getting someone but trusting my heart that whatever I feel is real because I am always true….
Those who disapproved at me will surely laugh out loud for my misfortunes. I accept the ridicule as a good sport for in losing, I emerged triumphant for I learned to accept love in my heart minus all the negativities. Nonetheless, this karma chapter taught me to be kinder despite of how others treat me. I am never a player nor I am not living a double life. I have nothing to hide. So, I embrace my freedom with joyful spirit by loving God and all people around me. If this is karma, I am thankful to this because I unraveled who I am and appreciate my blessings more.
It is never about who the person is but how I transformed into a better me… I am imperfect but I love who I am… Not going down with my misfortunes but coming out from the quicksand, climbing up to the ladder… rising up and flying high! Don’t break or have stiff neck… don’t blink even for a second when you behold the beauty in me!!!
My weird platform sneakers, which I love!!! Too old for these… I still pull it off like I used to do more than a decade ago…. Oops, feeling 18 again with my similar Baby Spice sneakers!!! My throwback attire… Or I’m the old Hannah Montana fan who can’t get over with the Disney show… Hey, Miley Cyrus now already passed twerking and nudity…
By Miley Cyrus “The Climb” ost Hannah Montana the movie