Kindness or Stupidity 

How many times you should forgive?  How many times you should understand?  No one is sorry and cared only with what I feel.  Are they aware of my feelings too?  Hey, it was hurting me more because I worked every penny I have and I cherished all my belongings. 

 I worked hard for my dreams.  No parents, relatives or siblings paid my school fees when I took another degree, and I paid my registration for the teaching board exam and also paid the review center with my own money.  I never owed anyone.  I worked hard for it.  I didn’t enroll for the major despite of the fact that I am not good in Mathematics because I couldn’t afford it.  In my mind, I must used what I only had and so I reviewed on my own.  I was even so thick skin to go to teacher’s school just to give me feedback for the mock test even if I didn’t pay him.  I reached my post-graduate studies and completed all units with all my cash. Then, I had to pay the dues at home and other stuff, also my brother’s college tuition fees.  A working student paying for a student.  Sounds ridiculous but I did that.

Nothing was left for me.  Not even my heart.  I tossed it away long time ago.  Will it ever feel after all the sacrifices I made for family and dreams?  I never thought of myself, always put others first.

I never complained but in stead I counted my blessings and very grateful to all the good people I met.  I used my skills and interests as my entertainment.  I invested money for what I loved.

I gave up what I had for other’s sake, believing it would generate profit to someone.  After finding out about the news, I lost my grip and my heart transformed into a stone.  Stupid me?  I should kept it where it was safe.  Am I kind? Am I just being stupid?  Always being fooled over and over again.  How can you trust those who lied?  Should people take responsibility with their lives?

My father was right when he read my palms.  According to his readings,  I am good in earning money but I would spend it all for family’s sake until nothing would be left for me.

It’s time to change what was written.  Choices were made.  They made theirs and I will make mine.  This time I am above my list.  I am my priority! Time has changed and circumstances give people no options.  And so, choices are made.  Should I be sorry?  Should you?

*(I can’t sleep coz of this… don’t know for how many days…)


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