Drowning in the Rain

Everyone around me is very excited and they’re happily talking about it.  None of them can see that I walk with the hurt concealed in my eyes. Then, I dash and hide at the other room pretending not to cry even if the tears just keep on flowing.

Why will anyone bother about me or care with what I feel? I am not their kind nor I am not a prostitute. Or not the girl who willingly open her legs for them.  I am me who stupidly believed that I found friends in them that I could be one with the guys like last time.   

No one can see that I am in torture.  I guess, they’re all lucky while I am not.  What is the best way to perish? Am I brave enough to fall from great heights? Or tie a knot around my neck until I can breath no more.  Everyday I pray to Papa to take me with him…

My life has no meaning and I have no purpose.  If I’m gone no one will mourn for me.  No one cares if everyday is a torture for me.  They’re looking forward for the feast and I am no one to any them.  I don’t make count and I am absolutely nothing because of my appearance and the color of my skin.  

Hope it occurred to them that I was truthful all the time. I was happy then and meant heartily what I said.  They just with their eyes not with their hearts.

Why will they bother? I’m not a whore… I don’t sleep around… I only work hard and do my best in all I do…


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