Do you ever been inside in a room where you are always the outsider? It feels like you are ban to be there yet you have no choice but be there. I know exactly what it is like because I have to be there. Outside that room with unwelcome sign, deep within I know that there are so many people I shared my existence whole-heartily and in their simple ways I am not pushed away.
How can that gloomy room rob my smiles and not see that I never faked what I did? I was doing things because that was who I am. Of course, no one sees and no one bothers. Do I expect to be appreciated and praised? Nope, it’s not about the recognition but that feeling of being home wherever you are because people just simply care for you happened to be human like them. I don’t need to hear all the lies and flattery, I am comfortable walking on my shoes. I have no skeletons in the closet nor I am depending on others for survival. Maybe, little thoughts and acts of kindness; or even a smile to cheer your day….
I am not tired of what I am doing. In fact, I am still enjoying and treat everyday an opportunity to gain wisdom. For outside that unwelcoming room, I am everybody’s big sister, daughter, granddaughter who will never turn back on my family and the one who is always willing to give not expecting anything in return. I was a lot of people’s friend with light sense of humor, lifting others when their down, always willing to reach out, share little things, with ears that always listen and heart that always love. Outside that room, I am doing my best as a colleague to be the asset wherever I am and carry out my responsibilities effectively. I am neighbor who brings joy to others, never judged nor looked down at anyone and always treat everyone fairly despite their status and morals. And I know, I am not the perfect teacher. I don’t only teach but also share and care to all learners who walked into my class. It doesn’t matter whether the kids forget or remember, at least one moment in their lives I am part of their journeys. Further, outside that room I keep nurturing my faith and do my part in serving God through others. I just don’t attend masses but I also help in bringing faith to the lives others. I also share my skills with no compensation because in many ways God blessed.
Inside that room, what do they know about me? Mock me and laugh at me while you can… Treat me as a joke! I don’t have to explain myself because I know I tried and failed several times. I never gave up… What do you know when you don’t see?
Let your eyes wander elsewhere. Believe in what you believe. I maybe a fool to you but not to others because I am a blessing for them. I can be too in that room. Can I when they see me not? I exist. See the stars. See all the pleasures. See me not.