Now I know

Dearest stupid me

How foolish of me that I can give it a shot again!!!! I only know how to pray, right??? I am the bad tempered girl whom you presumed. I can be fun too, I used to be… I lost myself once and my tragic past taught me a terrible lesson.

Now I know… Your friend said, “he doesn’t like you!” and got eyes to pretty girls only…. I am the one with no neck and thick waste but I am who I am… I can’t grow any taller! I can only draw… Perhaps, I should not pray at all…. But, what people know…

I miss the people I loved the most… the ones who used to see matter… Yet, I chose to move forward… For what??? Money can’t buy happiness!!!

Am I bad girl because I am hurt??? Am I the bad one because I cry because it’s just so upsetting why you don’t want me at all when it’s you whom I am willing to take chances….

Looking back on those days when it was easy for me to go away and effortless liked even if I was terrible…. I presumed when I am ready… then, I can give it a shot to the one my heart desires… I’ve gone this far just to realize that what I believed then was all false… The books I read only feed my fantasies but in reality you have to be a bitch to get a guy… But, it’s not easy to me… I am shy of expressing what I truly feel…

Words don’t come easy to me… I don’t even know how to act and I easily get tense….

NOW I KNOW, YOU ARE SO NEAR BUT YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME… YOU CHOOSE TO BE AFAR THAN BE HERE….

DON’T YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT I AM THERE!!!

(i paid a lot on that game….)

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