I am just that girl

“No confidence”. Nope. I paused for awhile.  Omigosh that awkward girl is resurrected!

The story of that awkward girl…

Her mother wasn’t evil, she was not her favorite.  For her mother’s eyes, she was fat, ugly, short and dark.  Her mother despised it when she talked for her voice was so loud.  Her mother never liked her drawings for she was only wasting papers and making nonsense. She grew up believing no one would a girl whose mother couldn’t love.  Her mother would die for her brothers but she wouldn’t fight for what was rightfully hers.  She was cheated in school but her mother never cared.  She taught that she was stupid.  Contrary to what she believed,a lot of people liked her.  She was naturally likable and lovable, the charms her mother never had.  Yet, due to the poison her mother instilled in her, she had inferiority complex.  And her way of rebellion was slacking in school… Moreover, she was blessed with functioning brains still she managed to cope and became known in her ways. 

Her mother considered her unattractive and unappealing to the opposite sex.  It didn’t bother her, she despises boys anyway.  Her father was the only man she could love.  Yet, among those boys who disturbed, one was the most daring of all.  Nonetheless, one foolish bravery caused her to shame.  Sadly, her mother was part of it and her mother’s inconsiderate actions ruined her repution.  Her mother didn’t consider that she was the leader in that community.  She was scolded and shamed by her aunts, and scrutinized by those envious people.  Her mother condemned and cursed her, she was disheartened.  Thank heavens, her father was always there in her defense!  Was her mother like the rest of those people who were jealous because that good looking man chose her even she didn’t exert so much efforts to be noticed.  

Funny it was, every guy was not the right one because the choices were many.  She’d rather talk to someone non-existent because she was afraid to lose her dreams.  Getting a job was her plan to achieve her ultimate goal of leaving her mother.  

That girl was kicked out….

Plans failed. Her Papa died and she must do everything to save all of them.  She died too and forgot her happiness but not her purpose.   She found the place where she could excel.  However, there was a witch dwelling in the holy kingdom.   She was like her mother, everything was about them.  No one must be better.  She was kicked out from the land she called home.  Her father was right, she would leave and goal faraway land….

In the land far, far away…

The witch’s evil spell took her confidence.  How she despises herself for being her!!!! She should had at least pretend…  People love pretenders and liars!!!  She should be one of those hypocrites!!!! 

God never abandoned her and she found herself again.  Then, someone came along.  She switched off her brain in order to be treated like a trash and be blamed of something she never needed nor wanted.   It was the worst of all!!! She was leading her life to hell… God took her in a harsh way…

Yet, that incident and experience brought back the fat, ugly, short and stupid girl even her mother would never love.   

And she was as lonely as ever… Her confidence gone… Yet, you should have known she likes you the most and she can love you above all.  She is just that girl who is shy of expressing her feelings, easily gets tense and she doesn’t know how to act on how to show affection.  What will she do for you to see what she really feel????

It’s not easy pretending…. 

 

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