That minute when I wished to disappear 


 Everything about our delicacy is not worth a bite…. My mom woke so early to prepare the dishes and I stayed in her place for the night.  I had so many things, and so I took the cab on my way to work.  My bosses tried what I brought to share with them.  I’m glad.

Yet, there was some part of the day when I uncovered the destination and truth.   Yeah, the home cook meal somewhere is the best!!!  All the excuses just not to try what I willingly gave… Maybe, some people are born not to appreciate what others can willingly give.  I don’t bring or give for the show or to be pleased…. I love to share because that’s who I am and what I am as a person…. Is there’s something wrong with that???? It’s my way of reaching out and mingling with others … 

She was not there but her presence was brought to life.  I felt so insignificant and irrelevant.  Did I grow old to be horrible? Am I physically hideous as I aged? Is there a need to disappear? 

It was that instant, my heart ached again. I went to the restroom… Wish to flush myself or hoping the loudness of my speaker will blast me to nothingness….

The discriminating heart, the categories and classes…. I am imperfect but I am capable of loving too.  How can I try and take chances when I am not there???

There’s always first time for everything and my presumptions with how my life would turn out to be were only the illusions of my youth.   

Will you let me love you??? I can defy gravity for you.  Isn’t it sad, you just don’t give a damn….

Btw, I worked hard to buy a place not from the slum….  My drawings for him, no need to show… He doesn’t appreciate a single thing I did…. As if I am the ugliest and most horrible person ever existed…. Why of all the men I know you’re the only person who sees me as the monstrous Evil Queen?   Can’t you see that I am a good and nice person too and if I’ll try not to then I must be faking it???   Why you won’t let me be who I am??? Why indirectly you make me sad when I am always the funny and happy one???



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