The Gap Between Us

so near yet so far


You think because you only think.  What if you’ll try to feel and give sight to your heart?  Is it about what you know?  What if there are so much you don’t know?  Will you choose someone who is away when just arm’s length you can just reach the one who is truthful all the time?  What if there are so many words unspoken that are really rooted from the heart?  How can you see with so many doubts and you try to prove others that you’re certain even behind the scene are all question marks? Is it all about what you need? How about what you want? You’re just unaware that there’s no need to try so hard and spend a lot of effort to be accepted. For the one you push away is the one who’s always true, withstanding all the storms and unchanging with time. Indeed, she loves you so much and that’s the one thing you refused to see. Two is a company and three is a crowd. Keep out queer girls in the boy’s world.

Perhaps, you simply can’t forgive and analyze others too much. There’s someone who just shuts up because it’s all what you want. When you care deeply for someone special, all you can do is respect his decision. You just carry on with the heartbreak and be the best of being who you are.

In same room, out of reach. It feels like continents apart. Where can I book a plane ticket to get to you? My care, kindness and generosity rewarded with indirect rejections. Again and again. I get it. Thus, I am walking backwards even my heart won’t just give a damn. My brain rules this time. So, I just keep quiet and moving from a distance.

When I am about to move closer, you set the boundaries. In the same room, you are there but I feel so alone. Will you detest the one who desire the best of you? You think she’s weird for she dresses up, draws and writes. Yet, are we all admirable and unique in our ways? As the days progress, there’s that gap we invisibly created… How much I miss you… I really miss you so much!

(*no one’s reading this… so nobody knows… shh! no one will find out)

so close yet so faraway

by Sara Bareilles “Brave”


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