Unexpectedly, I saw an old friend and I tickled the soul for the entire trip. Before I alighted, I said with a smile in my heart “I am the same.” No changing, take out the drama. Even the party lights are off, I am happy. I don’t have to be happy because of others. I am joyful because I owed that to myself. Are you done analyzing me? Quit presuming with what will take out my loneliness! I am not desperate of getting attached and go online or FB just to get one. I don’t feed my illusions and fantasies with deceptions and lies. I don’t give cash or invest for the show. I CARED. I SHARED. Not the drama queen and obsessed. Probably, a little bit weird but not insane and needy.
I don’t lose what I never had. I don’t have to call or send a message when response is extinct. I don’t have to run to someone who is never there. I will never talk if what’s inside won’t be heard. I won’t expect from anyone who can’t appreciate and see me at all. I will not bother with anyone who only push me away and won’t get what I really feel. No need returning to the first day for it actually has no significance anymore.
I don’t have amnesia. I just don’t know you at all. Whatever stored in the RAM of my CPU is totally erased with the disc of my will power. No need of trying so hard and pretend to be someone else when I can only be me. I can’t turn away from my beliefs, faith and values. I will never stop loving my family. I will forever value all the wonderful people I met in the highway as a moved forth in my journey of survival and finding my true purpose. I backup the files… However, with yours, no data left. I cleared the mess of my room. I saw the business card and the drawings. I kept and packed everything for nothing mattered at all. My system already reformatted getting rid of the bugs that caused my malfunction.
I am experiencing a lot emotional stress lately. Yet, in the tower of my isolation, I realized there are so many people who considered me as friend and willing to share their smiles and whatever they had with me. In their hearts, I made a count and they see me with their hearts. As I reboot to start all over again, I will make it through with those people who feel blessed of having me. Who are you? I don’t know you at all! YOU DON’T EXIST!!! Not at all…
byy Ed Sheeran “Thinking Out Loud”