Perishing Rainbow

I know this little girl.

She was the kind of girl that most mothers wanted to be friends with their children.  She was not a troublemaker and not competitive. She was not really shy but she was quiet most of the time.  Despite her silence, there were a lot of kids who wanted to be friends with her.  Likewise, she’d rather be at home and finished her chores than ran around outside.  She needed not to try so hard in winning others, they just liked her for she was fun to be with, slow to anger and simply loving life.  Yet, in unfair society, she was robbed with what was rightfully hers and no one stood for her. The injustice didn’t make her frown, it was no big deal at all.  Her father taught said that medals were not true measure of anyone’s intellect. In her tender age, there were perverted men who frightened her.  Hence, she pretended to be brave so that she wouldn’t be their prey.   Above all, she sought for her mother’s approval.  She cleaned and scrubbed the floor to fit her standards.  But for her mother, others were better looking and she was nothing compared to any of them.

I know this teenage girl.

She lived in her storybook, in the castle that existed in her head.  She believed that could only love once in a lifetime.  Then, there was the knight she placed as the protagonist in her story.  The infatuation she kept to herself spread like virus and she endured the humiliation.  She was not good enough for him and he made her feel inferior.  Despite of that, she was blessed with plenty of friends.  Even she chose to be indiferrent and aloof, they never gave up on reaching out to her and they made her feel that she deserved a seat in that class.  The school standards tormented her youth but there was always fun in learning.  When she was about to live her youth with flying colors, they needed to change to a new dwelling which she obviously disliked. Yet, her father got along with her mother’s decision.  She complained to her father but not to any of her friends.  She was cheerful all the time even if she was bleeding inside.  Then, it was the stage when boys acted peculiar and the attention she got was not flattering,  For her the notes, stares and talks were nothing but jokes.  They were young and she was the target of those boys silly part of growing.  She was labeled as Marvel’s White Queen and it was written on the class’ yearbook that she was Cleopatra who most of the time tardy and wouldn’t attend her class.  She didn’t speak out about her secret rebellion.  She never cared about her grades and whoever’s praises meant nothing at all.  After all her mother admired her siblings and others more, she never had a place in her heart.  She got tired of winning her.

I know this young adult.

There she was free as the butterfly.  A new phase in places where she was easily noticed by a few boys.  Yet, it was the time she longed for her independence and love was only the thrill of youth that would certainly fade with time.  Of course, some of them sneaked their way into her heart. Nonetheless, she didn’t make a choice for her father’s love was good enough.  It was the time she juggled everything and valued the worth of money.  She was the leader who willingly served others.  Others envied that position and wanted it desperately.  Blind followers were fooled but not the majority who could see her efforts.  Sadly, the people she served for so long accused and looked down on her because the new popular guy preferred her than other girls.  Her mother’s judgement was the most painful of all.  Her friends at school were unaware with her other world for she cleverly managed to keep them apart.  The boys in school didn’t know the boys at home and the boys in town.  They were young, how could they be sincere?  Moreover, it was the time, she despised her mother the most and maybe she was right no one would ever like her.  Her mother said so, why would anyone of them cared?

I know this young woman.

She buried her heart in her father’s grave.  The loss secluded her from the world.  She vanished from those who valued her the most.  She gave those possibilities chances only to be wrapped with fears and got away all the time.  The man she only loved was gone but left her responsibilities.  She forgave her mother and never left her side.  Yet, her firm decisions made her the villain at home.  No matter what they said against her, she stayed and her liberty was an impossible dream.  Well, she was loved in work and popular in her ways.  Nonetheless, there were bitter people who took away what she could have.  So, she disappeared again and there was no turning back.

I know this woman.

Is she really alone?  Where are those boys and young men have gone?  None of them returned to a coward like her.  Will they remember the goodness in her heart and the fun she willingly shared?  Will they ever find out that she tried to be courageous inside the monster’s arena?  When she said no more, she was entangled in the twisted tale of love.  Thus, if she feels something now, it’s better safe to be unknown.  Besides, she’s unseen and in the new world she won’t be known like it used to be.  She is the strong, the one who always comes to the rescue.  She’ll never see butterflies again in the lonesome meadow and the love she can offer will not flourish in his heart.  The eyes will see the surface not what’s underneath her skin.  Perhaps, she is there but she will no longer exist.  It always rains and she must deal with the storm all by herself.  She’ll try to be happy even if she needs to belong to someone’s arms.  She’ll never quit on a dream and no matter what they’ll do, they can’t pull her down again.

She looks outside her window staring at emptiness.  Will she see a rainbow again?


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