Suffering in Silence

when the lights are gone
when the crowd has left
no more praises and flattery
only tears on my bed sheet
trying so hard to survive
keeping up to be strong
always believe for the best
even the worst kept on coming
still hoping for a miracle
the nightmares will go away
i’ll defeat the beast in me
triumphing over my monster

when you see me smile happily
don’t bother to stare at my eyes
for you might peek into my soul
discovering my struggles and pain
i don’t need your sympathy
a little respect and consideration
a little kindness and understanding
a little time and a space in your heart
i won’t ask and think anymore
in my silence, i’ll keep on crying
until no more tears will come out
for if i’m tired God will let me rest

I don’t go FB. Why? Knowing and finding out more will only add to my suffering. I chose to be in this difficult situation. I know I’m worth it. Even I’m no longer as young as I used to be, it doesn’t change that I’m a good person and my skills only improved throughout the years. I will believe in what my art teacher said that there’s money in art… my friend told me there’s cash in writing… I can make and design clothes… I can do so many things and earn more… the opportunities will come… God led me here in spite of my unwillingness at the beginning. Maybe, to find my potentials and do what i am capable of doing… I won’t claim to be the best and prove to be one… i won’t give up on the hope for someone to see me and claim in his heart how lucky he is to be loved by me.  Perhaps, I must endure this suffering to find what I’m really looking for… This suffering is just part of understanding the essence of living and kissing real victory.  In the midst of all this thorny path, I’ll get the rose of happiness... love is worth it all…

xoxo
you know i did love you
i did love you more…

Published on 4/2/2013 10:13


by Rihanna “Unfaithful”

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