In the saddest moment of my life, I had you by my side. Although you were furious with the situation still we shared the tastiest meal ever. It was our last. I had to go and was uncertain of returning. You knew that I tried my best but luck was not on my side. When I left, I had to delete you quickly in my life. Yet, my presumptions were incorrect for my will was not as powerful as the demands of my heart. As a woman, I had greater needs that money couldn’t afford. I stopped and it was slowly killing me each day. However, I didn’t permit my depression to eat my dreams and hopes. Without you and be home from a distant, butchered me. However, I must face the sun daily. Every waking time, I wished not to open my eyes. Perhaps, I was breathing without you but I had no emotions like a walking dead. Thus, I always forced a smile when all I wanted was to perish with the wind.
Then, I was back into my feet and made it through. You rejoiced with me as always. Deep within me, I knew you wanted to be there but I knew it was not the same. Your coldness crept into my spines that brought sickness to my entire being. Indeed, I wept from evening till morning. So many sleepless nights and I put the blame on myself. I despised all my flaws and my stupid skills.
You told me, “you’re strong!” Indeed, I am. I am alive and I ought to live for each day is a blessing and a miracle. I didn’t die when you were totally gone. As I moved forward, I realized that I am alright. No hassles and guilty feelings. My conscience all clear. Perhaps you smashed my heart with my permission but I didn’t lost my breath because of it. My existence wasn’t terminated when you made that choice and totally changed. I still had me with goals in life. NOT QUITTING!!! Always the big dreamer even if I go on with this journey alone.
I’m fine without you despite of my shortcomings. It was not the end of the world when you were gone. I am doing what I wanted and be who I am. No more pretenses and secrets. After all, without you is my freedom!
by Hinder “Without You”