To my other half,

Do you still remember me?  I was the inferior girl who kept on pouring silly thoughts to you.  Then, you oftentimes visited in the realm of my dreams.  Nonetheless, you were so unfair for you didn’t give me a chance to remember your face and voice.   How will I identify you from millions of people in the planet?  What path should I take that will lead me to you?  Where will I go to finally meet you face to face?

Well, you were only the fragment of the fantasy in my youth.  My creation whom rescued me fom the pain of reality and through your imaginary existence I belonged to someone.   I wanted to be owned, needed and wanted.   The chances were plenty but I chose you over them because I made you and they were real.  Was it alright to barter what I have now with what I could I have then?  If I could turn back time and showed up when he asked me to come, will I wake up with him every morning rather than sleep on an empty bed?  If I took that chance when we met again and meant what I said, perhaps someone won’t hesitate to invite me to watch movies and won’t fail to just care.   If I didn’t walk away and didn’t ignore him, probably we are out exploring the high and low of the world.  If I were brave enough and left home for good, will I live ordinarily and simply in his? 

Moreover, I chose to be a good sister and daughter.  Above all, I chose greater things in life.  If given the chance to change my fate, will I stay surrounded by many and be here with no one at all?  I turned my back to all my friends who loved me.  There’s no party for me, no longer invited.  I can put on nice clothings for my mirror’s approval but now I am totally invisible.  Yeah, I have additional skills to put in my resume.  Wil you be impressed if I can paint, animate, design and take nice photos?  Will you be moved that I have the heart to serve God and others?  I don’t go out anymore.  Am I so boring now?

How can I be happy? Will I be happy?  How will you define happiness, anyway?  There are no stars on the sky that will lead me to you.  I used to say to myself before that we stared at same moon and stars, and we are connected mysteriously.  What happened to you?  Were you stuck in Neverland with Peter Pan?  Perhaps, you’re only in my mind.


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