I’ll do the honor of scribbling this final chapter. He was the Boogeyman in my head, the fears and terrors he brought to my innocence were no myth. What would you expect he was so heartless to perceive the goodness in me? I did not misbehaved. Perhaps, I was too nice with childlike naivity, which gave him the advantage to lure me into his crib filled with selfish and self-centered desires. No considerations. No mercy. A misleading trust. Zero conscience. Likewise, I still did the unthinkable.
Was it Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? A two-face friend, noble in front and an ogre behind. Yet, I didn’t fight it even if I was scared to death. My heart chose to see rainbows and butterflies instead of the dungeon of tortures. I was tricked into the trap. Yes, I had the way out but I made a choice to stay and suffer because of the illogical type of happiness I presumed that I had then.
When you forced yourself to be pal with a monster, you become one. I did in other’s eyes, to those people who had no chance of getting to know me. I did because people were quick to judge and easy to believe into false facts without any proof. There was no justice only tears of my melancholy which slowly slaughtered my hopes each day. Was the monster a friend of the devil for he was dragging me to hell? It was the battle I fought all by myself. I convinced myself that I was brave and strong even I am NOT in order to keep the light of the flame within. Despite how he played with my emotions, my sanity was still tact and I never attempted to get rid of my precious life.
How was I rescued? God did it in a harsh way for my human nature to comprehend. I made a wrong decision, which turned to be right. I questioned the Almighty, I ran out of faith. My confusions turned to rage. I was so furious at myself and I put the blame on me. Even if I despised God at that moment, I had nowhere to go but in His shelter. I wept like a river that I couldn’t say my prayers at all. I let God embraced me. He said, “my child, you are safe and I never left you”.
Yes, God is with me all the time! Amen. Finally, the monster was gone without saying goodbye only left the scar in my heart. He abandoned me but God did not. I didn’t harm anyone or hurt them in anyways. I am the victim of the evil in the world. Nonetheless, a bitter story had its sweet turn of events. God brought me to where I belong and in the journey I learned plenty of life lessons.
No, monster you are wrong! My good heart can still charm others and I will never be as bad as you. I won’t count my loses for God showers me with many blessings. Karma is not my friend and hope it is not yours too. Of course, I won’t wish you the worst but hope you’ll transform to the man you always wanted to be. If you will, I don’t have to see it because I have my liberty back.
And so this is how it ends. I am with the children whom God put me in-charge. I enjoy and love every minute I spend with them despite of their imperfections and limited attention spans. I am with the adults whom God sent to be my friends and to share my gifts with them. God guided the one who will lead and accompany me as I go forth with my travel in life’s highway. If I’ll tremble and fall, he’ll surely catch me. He’ll also teach me how to make a cup of tea!
This is the end of the tale. No regrets for there were lessons learned. All anger erased. Moving forward to a new beginning. This time I am no longer alone.
Farewell, monster. Thank you very much.