“Naked I came out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return: the Lord has given, and Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Now, I fully understand what my friend Job felt when he lost all his possessions and the ones he loved the most.  Tomorrow, I am requested to do stuff that I enjoyed doing.  Oh, I am supposed to be rejoicing.  But, I am not because of the key to finally own it is not yet handed to me.  It’s not that I can’t nail anything, it’s all about the rules set by men.  No matter how I tried, even if I got higher offer… still there are some hindrances….   Perhaps, similar to my friend Job, the Devil is on the loose!

survivor quote

I told my Mama, how many times I almost had the opportunities and suddenly popped up like the bubbles on the air.   Is it about the scented ghost roaming our flat whom I smell and hear from time to time?  Is that unknown entity trying to drive me away from the place? Am I just being unlucky because of something I did?  Actually, I didn’t commit any major mistakes until I dared to love.  But, to love heartily is not a sin, it’s about courage and being true to your emotions to fulfill your destiny.

There are several occasions when I dream of my beloved unhappy, mournful and in deep pain.  There were voices telling me that he needed my help or I must rescue him.  Every time I opened my eyes, I only tell myself that my beloved is rejoicing right now and he has a perfect life.  Thus, he won’t be needing me at all.  Perhaps, the reality of the matter is, I am the one who badly needed him.  Well, what can I possibly do I am still in Loserville.

Welcome to Loserville where those who have weak hearts will probably commit suicide.  Will I pack my things and book for the next flight and leave for good? Then exclaimed, ‘I’m tired of trying!’  Will I give up on the one I loved the most and forget about my heart’s desire?  My friend, Job didn’t.  He survived all the trials.  By the way, in Loserville you’ll expect Satan to be roaming around with his advocates in all forms of entities that will really vacuum all your good fortune.  Oh, Lucifer will be entertained to see you cry and he’ll let his minions execute his plans!  Yet, if you’ll acknowledge God’s guardians.  Believe that in Loserville, the angels will be your buddies and the saints will intercede for you.  Above all, Mama Mary will defeat them all as She condemned the serpent.

Welcome to Loserville,  a place you don’t want to be but it is where you can learn a lot of lessons and become stronger eventually.  Definitely, you won’t blame me for being exhausted.  I am not getting any younger.  Way back secondary days, I pictured out myself that by this time, I would have a business, no longer a ghost writer, paint for real and be a master teacher.  Snap it, for  none seems real.  Besides, I am unable to write my thesis (in spite of my professors’ encouragements and good words) because I chose greater challenges and ended up in Loserville due to my ambition of getting more.   It is not about being not contented but to climb greater heights for the ones you loved the most and for the future.

Welcome to Loserville where I found myself so helpless and wailing almost every night.  My brain and heart numb, and I wanted to scream out to the Master, ‘Hey, Bro I can’t feel anything anymore!!!’  Yet, like my friend Job, I trust in Him.  In Loserville, I found God and refuel my faith.  In this place, I never stop believing and trying to find a way to get out from this labyrinth.  You see, it’s not a bad place at all if you’ll learn to accept and survive.  Hence, I become brave, resilient and strong to keep on going and just move forward with life.

keep going quote

by Bee Gees ‘Stayin’ Alive’

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