My Trivial Truth

I been trying to compose a message and an e-mail. Yet, for the first time in my history, my mind was totally blank and I just froze with fear while weeping in front of the screen. I couldn’t find the right words to convey what I’m trying to say.

Thus, I decided to make a little sacrifice today even if I am not feeling alright due to this monthly girl-thing. I visited and prayed to nine different churches. Hoping my mind would be enlightened with what to write and not to be taken wrongly or my purpose misjudged again.

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Even if I am brave and strong, the truth is I am lonely and scared. Hence, I lift all my troubles to God and learned to look at the bright side and count my blessings. God is my refuge all the time. Thank you, dear Lord that I am accepted and acknowledged in the new place. Then, I have the opportunity to study again. I surrender my brokenness and worries to You.

During my trip alone, there were some bad men who tried to get my way. I just walked fast and trust that no harm would be done to me. They quite shook my spine a little but with God, I have nothing to fear. Under the heat of the sun, I didn’t notice the stain on my dress until someone saw it for me. I rushed to the toilet before I entered the train station. Perhaps, it was a good thing I am stylish because I recreated a new design with what I was wearing.

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It was a long trip from 11 am all the way 7.30pm. I went to my bros’ place for I bought stuff for my nieces and I joined them for dinner too. I played with them for awhile and watched ‘Jessie’ together. The truth is, despite of the pain inside, I can be fun with others and be as jolly as ever!

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It was so late when I arrived and I had a long conversation with my friend. Then, I went back to my drafted email and my messages…. All I did was delete… Delete… Why it’s difficult to press send?

I hope in your heart you will know and understand. I hope you won’t take my words wrongly and find deep within that I mean no harm.

Xoxo… Good night, baby, my beloved… Sleep tight!!! Xoxo luv u more…

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