Learning is everything for me. I may not be a genius but I enjoy acquiring knowledge to have an edge professionally and to further my skills. Likewise, I have cash crisis. What will I do? I needed full payment. But, how about my savings? Will I lost it and put my money into waste? Lord, help me!!! The best person I can rely on is somewhere. I don’t know what right words to say to reach out and to get the information I needed.
Lord, I love you with who I am. Though I am not a perfect person, I tried my best to survive taking not big leaps but baby steps toward my goals. I signed for that plan hoping to secure my family and enjoy the remaining days of my life with financial comfort. I may give my beloved a treat to travel or luxury we are deprived as of the moment. Indeed, I am able to settle the other one. My friend was very helpful, she answered my queries and gave me a peace of mind. She sent me an email with the information and forms needed. Well, thanks my friend for giving me a relief… At least, I can partly breath… Nonetheless, what are the right words to be forgiven and be heard? What should be done to be aided? I feel helpless. I needed you.
In spite of my imperfections and mistakes and lack of focus for the past few days, I am still able to cope up and accomplished many things. I still care for myself. I am learning to cook. I still do all my nails and find the appropriate clothes to wear. I managed everything and I know I positive for a bright tomorrow. However, something is missing. There’s emptiness in my heart. Almost complete but you have the missing piece.
Do not forget that I love you with all I am… Always did and always will… You may listen with what others say against me and they are free to accuse me of many things. Nonetheless, despite of my physical imperfection and age, I accomplished so many things and been there for others regardless of who they are. I am not possessive and selfish!!! I don’t use my femininity to win affection. I don’t have to wear masks to get approval. I am confident of who I am except when I am in darkness…
Remember that I did my best and never give up. I didn’t walk away and broke promises. I hope you understand how lonely it was to want you so badly but I couldn’t. I stood up because I don’t want you to think that I am nothing but some whining and coward old lady. I want you to see my courage and determination. I want you to recall the goodness in my heart and how easily you can cheer me and make me laugh. My actions were unwise because I was doomed with the darkness of my failures. Yet, it was necessary for me to fail to be here… returning to the old place where you have been and retracing the footsteps of the one I truly love.
Though you’re not here, in my heart you never left. Find it in your heart what you really want and maybe you’ll understand… Perhaps, you’ll know….
Do not forget that I love you for who you are, not with what I expected from you. As you always said, it happened for it happened. I cannot change and erase the past. I will only keep every single details in my heart for with you was the happiness I felt which I deprived myself for so long.
I love you and good night. Take care!!! Don’t let the coldness of the wind trap you because you might get ill. Be happy always for it’s all that matters to me.
Xoxo… I love you, my baby!!! I love you, the best! Xoxo.