After the Rain

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After the mass, I strolled all by myself, taking the long lane towards my home. I am not walking in circles like a lost lamb, my sense of direction was perfectly fine. This is me, contented and grateful with what I accomplished for today since I made so many people happy with what I shared with them.

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Perhaps, it rained heavily in my life that I ignored my gifts and those people around me. Perhaps, I tried so hard standing in the middle of the storm that I ignored God’s helping hand.

The yellow petals falling on my hair and on my path brought back old memories. I am reminded on that afternoon, two years after Papa passed away. It was when it felt that I was cursed every time those petals landed on my hair. As they touched my head, the pain inside increased that I accused God of being selfish and heartless. Of all places!!! I should not be there when I am uninvited and unintentionally gate crashed. Nevertheless, God ridiculed me at the moment. Hence, with those petals on my hair and my way, I swore that life would continue. Somewhere on the road, I would find what I am looking for…

So, this time, God did it again…. The coincidences that urged me to despise Him. Yet, when I looked thoroughly at the situation, there’s a light of hope in my heart. God is indeed of many wonders that my finite mind cannot fathom. The petals don’t hurt me again instead they adorned me with their beauty and added color on my road towards home.

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After the rain, the coldness maybe there but I have all the reasons to smile. I did so many mistakes but I can rise from falling. No matter how terribly I was judged, I am not affected because there are so many people who appreciate my existence.

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After the rain, the playground is wet and empty. Soon, the children will come to play and laugh again. They were not gone for they always find their way to the place that brings them joy. The significant person walks once in a blue moon and will never die inside my heart. There’s always tomorrow the night will come and everything will turn out well.

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Don’t hate me so much for I mean no harm. Everywhere I go, I only see traces and faces of the one whom I painted inside my heart. I wanted to tell him that the rain already stops and it’s over now. I wanted to be there in his sorrow and hold his hand to assure him everything is fine. I wanted to be next to him embrace him tightly and tell him that ‘I believe him and support him all the way’… Whatever that will make him happy and smile at me again and again…. I love him very much… Now and always… Forevermore and more and more… Don’t care how crazy it sounds…

….good night… The night is cold with an empty space on my bed… I will close my eyes to make you alive next to me…

Baby, the rain is over!!! Come over, after the rain… 😉

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