I can’t be trusted! What a harsh judgement!!! I don’t deserve to be anyone’s friend… Such painful words killing me softly daily… When at the other side of the globe, I am isolated working hard to be like the lamb who can pass the eye of a needle. I did my best and gave all I had. Even if I didn’t know and inexperienced, I fed myself with info and materials which I never dared to touch before. Was everything easy to throw away when all my life, I was only building walls?
I even told God that when I said I am ready, indeed it was the truth and I mean it. I shut down the light of the good girl and played along. However, pretending to be blind and deaf with the truth. I am always scared with no confidence in darkness. Yet, I placed my trust and I were the happiest girl ever when the music started I waltz with merriment in my heart.
Nonsense!!! All my artworks and pieces of imaginations were fruits of my lunatic mind as I am unfairly judged. Thus, when the heat turned cold I wanted to freeze with death. Nonetheless, in my heart lived the Almighty whom gives me courage and strength.
How long it has been? Somewhere down the road, we found each other and somewhere on the beautiful isle that our angels made you will be there. Honestly, I tried but I couldn’t. I am so scarred and scared to start all over again.
I saved. I don’t want to lose everything. It’s for silly plans for the future …. God knows how I badly needed help. Find in your heart the forgiveness and remembered who was the real me.
Everything seemed complete. I love my job. I have a new house. I am back on style and cheerful mood. Every time I sleep at night. I feel so alone and wanting the dial the phone and reach out the CHAMPION who won my heart. I hope by this time I can say hi and hear not only my whispers and the gush of the wind… But hear your voice…
I needed you..
I love you… More and the best!!!Xoxo
Find peace in your heart… Peace be with You with God’s love and with mine as well. I pray for your safety every time.
Good night and sleep tight, my baby…. Take care…