Suicide: Unforeseen Departure

These past few days, the rift between the two of you was irreconcilable. The other person became possessive and obsessive. You didn’t see how this person turned into a monster and you were not pleased at all. After being together for so long you thought at the heat of that instant, ‘I should be someone else who’s out there and never stops caring and loving me.’

You walked out, you didn’t want to go home. The vow of self-destruction was threatening. Why you allowed yourself to fall into this trap wherein the escape was impossible because your courage was covered with guilt and pity? You knew that you tried your best to save your face to your friends and believed everything would turn well. Who did the greatest sacrifice when you lost sense of what you really wanted for a flame that was bound to perish in your hearts?

Why there was always the blame? You thought you found the person that could understand you and would stay by your side whether sunny or stormy, your ups and downs. Why you were always reminded of your flaws and failures? Somewhere, someone gave way for your claimed happiness. Who really did sacrifice more? You were actually doing a favor by saving someone from your blunder and for hurting the worst. ‘This certain someone will always understand… What am I doing here?’ You asked in between those tears that you wouldn’t allow to come out. Is it late to walk out???

‘Am I happy?’ For the time being that person yelled and trying to control you over and over again. Still a child who believed that love is a fairy tale and Prince Charming would provide the castle and crown. Why in the tower it felt lonely without your closest friends and family? If you let the wind pushed you at the atmosphere, would you finally free both of you from the miseries of being together? You wanted to wrap your neck with rope, you refused the oxygen to pump the blood in your lungs. The pills at the cupboard would make you sleep forever. There was the blade that would leak your blood from your system. You didn’t know the reasons what went wrong. You were not strong, not as resilient as someone else…

Your phone kept on ringing and flooded with messages that you didn’t want to read. You slammed the door and wished not see that person in your home. You should not welcome anyone in your place, yet you decided it was the right thing to do. However, did you regret not returning soon? Did you actually predict this to happen? You wanted it to end, but not as sudden and tragic as this… You felt helpless for the first time and part of you wanted to reach out to that certain someone who remained strong for you.

Why that other person was so weak? Why this person refused to grow up and embrace reality? Why the best strategy used was to attack your conscience? You found your way out… This time you valiantly proclaimed liberty… Not this kind of conclusion… You didn’t foresee that the departure would be lifeless and cold.

The casket arrived.

Well, this is just another story…

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