I was a bookworm who relied in my fantasies and imaginations. I had no endurance in studying but I did to prepare emotionally and mentally. Perhaps, I loaded myself with so many info from various references to conceal my fear and guilt. It was a matter of conditioning with what about to happen, washing away the embedded innocence guarded by faith. Those were the days when I only built walls and resided in my fairy tale world. Adamantly claimed that I am a maiden of steel and no man’s woman.
For the first in forever, I broke the rules and danced with the music of my heart. You doubted my claims and it was to your disbelief. I sounded to be some lying hag, however I only speak the truth. It was my first time in forever when I am blinded with the ecstasy as the fireflies circling above my head. Although I feared total darkness and my heart was about to explode, I didn’t run away instead clasped at your arms and rested my head on your chest sweetly and tenderly. Caught with the flame of my emotion that driven me nuts, my mind froze with the bliss of being next to you. Yet, I could sense the shadows bothering you. If only you felt my heartbeat on how its melody chanted your name with the pureness of my love. My darling sweet baby, the world was ours with nothing to worry.
It was my first time in forever when I opened my door to someone else, allowing you to enter beneath and beyond my secret garden. The flowers bloomed in the heaven of my desires despite of the complexities and fright, I went on with my greatest love as my sole weapon.
One day, you’ll find it in your heart that I am always for real with no hidden agenda. In all I did, I gave out my best for you… Even if there were challenges, I did my best to fight so that you’ll see I am not a weakling and depend only on others for survival… I AM NOT THE ONE WHO DISAPPOINTED AND FAILED YOU…
Here I am, loving only you for the first time in forever… I had fun… I love you the most, my baby!!!
by Kristen Bell “First Time in Forever” (Frozen ost)
“Good things happen to those who wait” 😉