What’s the Essence of Sacrifice?

Those were the days when among the bunch of fruits, I am always labeled as easy-go-lucky, headstrong and irresponsible.  Misjudged all the time in the world of the crabs.  In my silence, I asked what do you know will I be here where I am now if you were right?  It was not my fault if I didn’t need to study long hours and lots of people prefer to hang around me?  I didn’t choose to lead but I am always appointed. No one was trying to compete with your popularity.   No matter what you said, so many people got better verdict than you do.  I am a happy girl.  You lived bitterly while I enjoyed even in the most difficult circumstances.

Were you considerate?  Were you worth my sacrifice?  You seemed not to care in saving me from my shame?  When you had nothing, you worried not a single cent because I managed to work multiple jobs.  I never questioned even I was aware that you wasted your money for your arrogance and spent my money for your vices.

In my loneliness, I questioned Papa, why am I alone when I am not the one selfish?  I gave it all and ceased to consider my happiness.  However, none of them has the heart to look back and feel empathy with what I have been through.

A friend of mine was right, I wanted to tell him that I learned my lesson.  Did my father only teach me good values?  Was it foolish of me not to fight with what can really make me joyful? 

Emotionally stress… In the bright side, my position has upgraded… Yet, how can I save myself and explain—

I value what my father left.  Were they worth my sacrifice?  They just mocked me for having no one and pointed out how was I unable to keep track my cash.  Did they ever ask themselves how much they have taken from me when they had nothing?  Can’t they love me in my helplessness and rescue me?  I am struggling but I have not lose my skills…

Overdramatic.  Indeed.  Don’t forget what I did.  If you do, I am more forgetful.

Was my father really fair?

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