Fight for Survival: Sweaty Palms, My Silent Handicap

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Tense. Anxious. All I knew that I needed to make with the appointment on time. After few months of waiting and almost falling to deception, finally I got it. Thanks to my friend.

Am I making someone’s job difficult? The more I am reprimanded, the sweat kept on coming from my pores. Omigosh, my sweaty palms again!!!! I tried to relax. How to get rid with the hyperhidrosis? What a shame it’s coming out again!

My sweaty palms, my silent handicap. I am not scared only overjoyed. The lady was pissed, I tried to warn her. It happened not only today but for several times before. Worst was when I wore gloves during my high school national exam. The boys in my class finished ahead of time, they came over and pestered me while I was finishing my papers and the sweat couldn’t be controlled. Indeed, the gloves were really helpful!!!

This time, the sweat coming out again. I have no money for bus fare. I only have Maggi noodles left for my meals. My landlady wrote me something that I didn’t want to read because I couldn’t pay this month’s rent. I tried borrowing money from people but it is expected they cared less and they wouldn’t listen to my side of the story. However, God knows I was there for them.

How to pay my rent when the money allocated was extorted from me? I was asked to work for free. To get away from the scheme of the greedy one, I needed to pay my way out, sacrificing my budget for this month including my rent.

What will I do? The kind old landlord will understand but not his offspring. Surely, she’ll say we’re not running a hostel and charity. Compassion and empathy are taught in school. When you are in the situation, how will you apply your school values? I am not a bad person, I was only caught in a situation whereas I was deceived and abused wasting my efforts, money and time. Will she understand? Will someone help me out? I already asked several people… My shame gone…

SILENT HANDICAP ATTACK!!! The perspiration endless!!! My hands keep on sweating even while I am composing this… I looked at the unedited shots taken this afternoon… Well, I had a long day walking far distance… God, help me!!! I wanted to talk pretending someone can hear me and understands… I don’t need your money for I can work hard to earn more… Just hear me out and find it in your heart…
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