Fight for Survival: End of Hope

I have nowhere to go and left with nothing.   All my dreams and plans shattered in front of my eyes.   Only counting the days, I must bid farewell… few more days, my friend said I’ll be home… What happen to my magic and miracles?  I am no longer the lucky girl.  I left broken and go back feeling worst…

I don’t want to break my promises to so many people, to you and those kids who trusted me.  I prayed and prayed but my prayers unheard.   I asked for signs, it was granted but then taken away from me.   My grandma’s birthday is coming, she’ll expect for I’ll always give her present every year but now I can’t afford even my meals.alone

I really tried and almost had what I aimed. My goal is always unselfish and I love everything that I do. No matter how difficult, I always survive. My sense of fun and humor, always save me from stress and pressure. I don’t quit easily but my friends keep saying this and that… blah… blah… blah…

Even the maid mentioned that I’m so bloated and grumpy that I looked like an auntie… I want to throw all my clothes and the accessories that used to be my thrill. In our family, we are surrounded by optimism, we always believe that we can make it through. I don’t know what happen that I failed all the time.

The truth is, I don’t want to throw what I have started and not use my skills. I know that I can learn more if given the opportunity. I can continue with my passion in art and proceed to further my post-graduate studies. Everything just die with all the chances not granted to me.

I wasted so much time. I was generous to everyone and thoughtful but I didn’t seek for reward. Does God only see my sins rather than the goodness of my heart? I welcomed anyone as my friends and shared my smile to all… but when I cry, I am all by myself.

No matter what I do, nothing works… It’s the end of hope for me…

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