At the Edge

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She has nothing.  Is it her loss?  She only aims higher for a family she thinks that she’ll have.  She can’t offer anything for she fails every time she tries.  She wants a new start but opportunities always far from her reach.

She can’t give anything.  Why will he come back when he already taken what he wants? Her precious innocence, he robs from her and he doesn’t give a damn.  Why will he care when life is perfect for him?  So what if she gives everything that she has?  She is the one weeping and claims all the blame.

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She gives up and stays on bed whole Saturday without any meals or water.  She proclaims, ‘time to quit!’  She believes and prays.  But, she gets tired too.  She’s so hyper and full of energy. She sacrifices for family’s sake.  She’ll do everything for love and willing to risk it all.

At her breaking point, she is counting her God given gifts and how beautiful she is as person.  She remembers those people who admire her good qualities and value her contributions.  The sounds of the praises and the attention she always gets. 

At the edge, she sees the girl who always carries the brightest smile.  Her cheerfulness and goodness effortlessly win her friends and strangers quick smiles.  The girl who always brings joy to everyone around.  Her generosity and thoughtfulness are rooted from her heart.  She’s willing to serve anyone even those who have lesser in life.  She considers everyone as friends in spite of their faults and sins.  She only sees the goodness in each one’s heart for everyone deserves a chance.  She accepts bloodlines whether they are rich or poor.

The girl in her memory is not a trash or a toy.  Yet, she becomes a stranger on her reflection.  Is she punished for her disobedience when she only loves with all she has?  Is it her error to give love a try and pretend everything is fine even if she knows it is not?

The hush of the evil wind pulls her at the window to fly freely at the edge of nothingness.  The suffering and torments will end.  She’ll not wake up again and the nightmares will stop haunting her.

At the edge, she surrenders and ready to go.  But, the memories of those people dear to her heart pull her off.  She closes her eyes and hears her father’s words, ‘you won’t waste your chance.  Keep on believing for you’re almost there.’  Then, he recounts his words, ‘get out from your little pathetic world!’

The faithful and loving girl she used to be reminded her, ‘God is not distant from us.  His plans for greatness will be yours in His time’.  She dreams of her siblings and parents, and surprisingly he is there.  Of course , all of them resides in her heart forevermore.

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