So gLOOMY without U

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The night is dark and my heart is so dead inside.  I’ve seen this coming and I thought I played my cards so well.  Every time I hold tight on the tiny light of courage I have, I remember your face and the echo of your voice bounces back and forth in my eardrums.

Don’t you know that there  are several times I feel like not fighting anymore?  I look at my paintings and realized how my skills improved and my dreams slowly coming true, I embraced them heart trying to fight this gloominess inside me.

I am so humiliated at you.  I always happily exclaimed that I made it.  Then, there’s always something wrong… how will I explain that my contract turn to be pieces of junks.  How will I inquire about the business letters I received?  You know for the fact that in terms of money lingo, it’s your expertise.  I don’t know how to approach or what to say to you.

I am tired of crying.  I just don’t want you in my head.  I want to wear my nice clothes and meet you again.  I don’t want to look like an old lady without nothing to offer.  I can’t even afford a cup of coffee.

I want to fight and fight and fight…

But, I can’t stop missing you…. longing for your voice and big embrace….  I hope you hear me…. I really hope, you’ll find me…

I don’t like being helpless.  I want to face you, dignified and my pride unbroken….

i-believe-in-us

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