How Much I Wish…


I don’t expect my friends or any of my bloodline to agree with me. Yeah, you have your annoying ways of calling me as if my one syllable nickname difficult to utter. Or maybe your name calling is your way of reminding me what I am to you. The sound of that word pisses me but I don’t dwell on what is annoying. All I care and that matters is that I hear your voice. Your voice is enough to give me joy and celebrate for more.

I am fully aware that it is so much to ask for the presence, a touch, a hug… and a kiss. After all, I am a contented woman. I don’t insist or force on something not willingly given to me. Thus, there are things I desired, which I keep secret with the shadows of the night and lock in my dreams.

I cannot steal you because you are a person not a goat. I can’t take a man out your free will or bribe your affection with gold. I am just a woman I can’t force or insist with what I needed and wanted.
I am physically weak but emotionally and mentally strong.

Just like a little girl again peeping outside my window speaking at the tiny twinkling star. I wish to do many things with you. I wish to make you smile, laugh and rejoice all time. I wish to talk to you longer and be with you for more hours. So many wishes… ungranted for my genie turns out to be selfish.

Hence, in the deepest underground corner of my core hidden the unspeakable words filled with truth and sincerity. For above all, I wish that you are mine. I don’t want to be your sister or just a friend… I want to be more.

How much I wish you can see that I am a woman too who is capable of loving a caring. How much I wish you see me like others do.

The reality may slash me into pieces but it will never rip my faith for the good things and real happiness bound to happen for me. I am a good person and no errors can change me. I hope you know in the beginning until the end of eternity, I love you. Inspite what happens, my feelings remain and nothing has changed. If my love is unexpressed and unproved, it’s not the decision I made but what you wanted.

How much I wish you know that I love you more and miss you every second of the day.


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