I was staring at my phone for a very long time. I didn’t delete the number but I’m not brave enough to press call or send a message. Perhaps, I am weakened by the truth. I don’t want to be a nuisance. Am I willing to take another humiliation and insult? My heart’s requesting me to dial the number and send a message, but I’m just scared if no one would pick up or there would be no response at all. Please don’t be so mean, be the man I used to know— Someone, who never turned his back to a friend and always cheer me up every time I’m down and stress. Yeah, you’re a friend to all girls— what’s new??? But you never treat me same way as you treated them….Why you already close and lock the doors? Why you don’t open your heart and mind to all the possibilities?
The Cry of a Broken Heart
The impossible, I can always do
Despair and failures will just go
My faith to God is still strong
Yet, deep within something is wrong
Smiling with the music on my way
Laughing with the children at play
I sing and dance, there’s a lot to say
How long will I pretend that I’m okay?
Can I drink the forgetfulness potion?
Why loving you heartily is an option?
I care and love with no bad intention
You changed, and how I hate that portion!
I want to be with you in all places
Let’s meet new people and all races
Come let’s rejoice with God’s graces!
Around you, I heard the angels’ voices
I don’t love and want you, it’s a lie
In the dark with no one, I only sigh
There are so many questions, why?
How come you never give it a try?
Not blaming you if I am all broken
I wish to have you but you’re taken
If this is a great sin, am I forgiven?
Love me, I’ll bring you to heaven!
I only wish you have given me the chance. But, you will not, right? I tried to put this feelings aside. Yet, I cannot help missing you. I always attempt of calling you and I even wish to cut my line or change my number so that I won’t remember you at all. Maybe, you wish for me to get lost. Don’t worry, I will be home for good. Am I really a burden to you? Is it my fault when my flesh and heart desire you? It is so difficult ignoring my needs when I’m around you. You think it is easy holding back? I wanted to express myself freely, touch and kiss you. Yet, if I do so, you’ll hate me forever. I never wanted any man all my life same way I wanted you. Gosh, the men I used to know were easy… Hey, forgive me for writing so much… this is the only place and space in the world I am free to express and speak out my true emotions. In reality, I just shut up— unless, you’ll lead me… I’m reserved and with a great sense of self-control… If you’ll just lead me, I won’t complain and I let you take charge….
I told myself, I’m not giving up… I’m just taking a break and giving myself a space. I have to be tough…
i love you
you just don’t let me
Tonight, I miss you so
Every time I write my insanity, I pray that you’ll never read for sure you’ll be annoyed or be disgusted at me again. Do you hate me for loving you so much? Can I call you or talk to you???
Someday, love and luck will be mine!
I’m not giving up! I’m Papa’s girl…
I’m always smart and tough!
by Rachel Ann Go “Don’t Cry it Loud”
if you’re down and sad,
my dear, I’m always here
I will always understand and love you until the end
Sweet Dreams and Good Night!!!