I ONLY WISH IT DOESN’T HURT!!!

Every time, I wish for the calls and the messages. But, they never come. I only hope that it doesn’t really hurt to be left not knowing. How can you reach for someone when your truly suffering and it doesn’t matter? I keep on believing for the best to come. Live and survive each day. But, at times i wake up out of nowhere and I only wish that somewhere in my heart it doesn’t hurt.

I only wish I’m a real bitch, maybe it doesn’t matter. I only hope that I’m really mean for I won’t really care. But, I’m just another girl pure and true, caring and loving, passionate and romantic, expressive and sweet, generous and thoughtful, and honest and faithful. Even if you’ll never believe, I only wish somewhere in your heart you’ll feel lucky for you’re special and I am willing to do everything for you.

Awhile ago someone who has work-related profession with you whom I overheard speaking with a colleague. I am reminded of you, I told myself he could be you. But, how can I have the confidence to convince and share when shut down your doors for me? How do you expect me to help when your now that cold? You think, it’s nonsense. It’s up to you. Anyway, you can always get anyone you want and I’m not really helping but trouble.

I only hope when you look back few months ago, those things I did were done to express myself. I only wish it doesn’t hurt for this love inspired me to become a real artist, a writer and a teacher. This love is my strength to aim higher and dream more. The moment I met you, my optimism to what I wanted in life was reformed. Don’t take it this way because I don’t want this sadness to pull down.

I only gave and never expected in return because that’s my generosity and thoughtfulness. I never asked for too much. I never demanded anything. I only believed in your lies and excuses. I only understood even if you always questioned if I’m trustworthy.

I don’t feel awful about myself because I know my worth. I only wish that this pain won’t wake me anymore and give me a peaceful sleep. I only wish it doesn’t hurt because I want to be happy for real for I deserve my happiness. What does it take to make you believe? I tried to make you happy but maybe you’re like a woman who can’t make a stand and always changes your mind.

If you’re certain with what there is, I’m glad for your happiness means a lot to me. I only wish it doesn’t hurt at all. Be the friend that I used to know.

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