My Cinderella Ball

I dream, I imagine
I’m brave, I’m strong
I fight, I struggle
I’m cheerful, I’m happy
I love, I sacrifice
For I’m just a woman

I wish for a maybe
Maybe, a quick kiss
Maybe, a gentle touch
Maybe, a light embrace
Maybe, a little time
Maybe, a brief chat
Maybe, a short walk
Maybe, a wish come true

Like several girls
I also deserve it
Be admired and trusted
Be cared and respected
Be desired and needed
Be there and wanted
I’m not just some doll
For fun or for boredom
For display or bin it!
I have a loving heart
I waited for so long
To love whole-heartedly…

I want to be in my ball
My prince will find me
Among millions of faces
Standing out from the crowd
I’m right and not wrong
The glass slipper fits me
He’s not under some spell
I’m not the villain of my story
His choices are plenty
He knows what he wants
I believe and have faith

The romantic song is played
This is where fate leads me
A dance floor of my fantasy
Heaven, nirvana & ecstasy
I won’t cry alone anymore
I’m not the horny other girl
I will just waltz all night
I found a friend forever
Someone I will only love
I will never ever leave him
In this unlikely dance of life,
A genuine smile of my prince
Before the clock strikes twelve,
My prince already chooses me…

********


Every time I think of the deal and reminded of it, I felt so little and terrible of myself. Of course, as a woman I wanted it so badly but I wanted it to be given willingly. I don’t want to be with a statue or a disappointment again. I only want to express my love and nothing more. If that’s the case, I should be with any random guys now and before. Yet, I waited patiently for so long to prepare myself emotionally and mentally; and to be with the man I’m comfortable with for the feeling is right. I know what I want but I don’t force or oblige anyone. If it appears that way, I am not different than those girls without dignity and pride.

sad sad sad
My parents taught me to study hard and dream high so that if I’ll get married I won’t be my husband’s burden, but his companion, friend and partner who’ll stay and support him all the way . They said couple should work hand in hand together for the family to survive financially and to provide all needs. My parents even added that my achievements are for my own. Of course, they’ll be proud of me. But above all, my man will be more proud and he’s the envy among his friends for having me. I don’t know if my parents used it to trick me to do well for  I slack, lazy and with no ambitions. Did my parents lie to me and all they uttered were just nonsense? I only wish they were right. I don’t want to give up but as of now I feel so sick and tired. I only wept to sleep and my heart felt so heavy and painful. Will someone answer me, where did I go wrong to deserve this? I want to be in my Cinderella ball where I’m the woman prince charming wants to be with— It’s not about the deal. It’s not a prize to be won or an incentive to meet.

It’s sad really depressing but…

i still believe


by Enrique Iglesias “Hero”

xoxo

i care

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